Episode 2: Feeling Lonely Even When Together—A Couple with ASD and Attachment Disorder

Note: This story is a work of fiction. However, it is based on actual emotional struggles and experiences.

Episode 2: "My First 'Like' and the Distance I Can't Close"

I met him in a university lecture.

He always sat in the front row by the window. Even while other students were noisy, his world remained quiet, and he would focus intently on writing in his notebook. As if refusing to be spoken to, his gaze was fixed solely on the professor.

I found myself drawn to him.

I always lived with the fear of being abandoned by someone. Because of that, I lived my life reading people's expressions and hiding my own feelings. To me, his unwavering demeanor was as dazzling as the sun. I believed that he would accept my feelings of 'liking' him honestly.

The first day we talked, I was a little nervous. I didn't want him to hate me. Thinking that, I didn't know what to say.

He was always reading a book. That day, too, as soon as the lecture ended, he opened a thick textbook. I gathered my courage and spoke to him.

"Hey, do you have a moment?"

He kept his eyes on his book and replied only with, "Yeah." I spoke as hard as I could, desperate not to be disliked by him. But his reaction was thin, and I felt like my words were falling on deaf ears.

"…Are you okay?"

When I asked that in a trembling voice, he stared at my face, thought for a moment, and said this.

"I'm okay."

The words were very brief and lacked emotion. However, to me, it felt like the best he could offer. I wanted to believe his words, I thought.

"Thank you. I'm glad."

When I said that, he just replied, "Yeah," and returned his gaze to his book.

From that moment on, our relationship began. I decided to accept his clumsy kindness. Or perhaps, in truth, I was just too afraid of being disliked by him to express my real feelings.

His clumsiness and my self-denial.

Perhaps we had already been missing each other since the moment we met.

Click here for Episode 3👇

#Fiction
#Series
#Story
#ASD
#AttachmentDisorder
#CassandraSyndrome
#Romance
#Couple
#Loneliness
#Misunderstanding