Even Professionals Who Provide Support Need to Recharge—I Want You to Know About 'Compassion Fatigue'
Hello, this is Chi.
Today, I want to write about something honestly.
Midwives are always the ones who are 'providing support,' aren't they?
Moms suspected of postpartum depression, moms with high scores on the Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale (EPDS), moms who are cornered by childcare... talking to these people is an important part of my job as a midwife, and I find it rewarding.
But.
To be honest,it drains me. 😔
There are times when I talk to these moms one after another during discharge guidance or postpartum checkups, and I feel completely exhausted after work. My mind keeps spinning, thinking, 'Is that mom okay?' or 'Could I have spoken to her better?'
I've even wondered if this means I'm an immature midwife...
But recently, I've started to think that might not be the case.
🤔 Do you know about 'compassion fatigue'?
Something that support workers and medical professionals often experience is called'Compassion Fatigue'.
It is a state where your own mind and body become exhausted from continuing to empathize with the pain and suffering of others. It's slightly different from burnout, and it's also called 'the fatigue of caring.'
Do you have any idea about these symptoms?
Feeling emotionally exhausted after work. Thinking about 'if that person was okay' even after work. Feeling somewhat heavy before talking to the next person. Feeling like the 'sense of fulfillment' I used to feel has faded.
The more you think, 'I have to be strong,' the harder it is to see this fatigue. It's easy to fall into a pattern where you realize you've reached your limit only when it's too late.
✈️ If you aren't well yourself, you can't provide support
What I have felt all along is,'If I am not well myself, I cannot truly provide support.'
Even if I can provide support with words, if I am listening while my own feelings are already dried up, I start to feel things like 'I want this to end soon' or 'I don't know how to respond.' I worry that the moms might pick up on that.
You know the emergency announcement on airplanes, right?
'Put the oxygen mask on yourself first, then help your child.'
I think that applies perfectly to support professionals as well.
You cannot provide oxygen to others when you are oxygen-deprived yourself.
'Caregivers need to be cared for properly'—I believe this is not just an ideal, but an absolute necessity for continuing to provide high-quality care.
🌿 What I do after talking to a mom
So, what can we do specifically? Through trial and error, I will honestly write down what I do.
1. Create a 'transition ritual' Before leaving the room, wash your hands thoroughly and say to yourself, 'I was able to listen today.' It is also recommended to consciously create 'closing actions,' such as taking off your lab coat or putting your bag on your shoulder.
2. Give yourself permission to 'not have to solve everything' It is easy to fall into the trap of thinking, 'I have to fix this.' But midwives are not magicians who can solve everything. Telling yourself, 'I was able to listen today. That was enough,' is more important than you might think.
3. Avoid scheduling consecutive mental health consultations if possible If possible, try not to schedule back-to-back sessions with moms who have high EPDS scores or are suspected of having postpartum depression. Insert administrative work in between or take a short break. These are small things, but they are very effective in preventing burnout.
4. Build a relationship with colleagues where you can say, 'Today was tough' Whether you have a colleague to whom you can casually say, 'I'm still hung up on that case' or 'Today's session was difficult,' is quite important. I want you to feel free to talk about it, thinking of it not as 'complaining' but as 'debriefing' (reflection).
5. Create 'time where you don't have to solve anything' outside of work Eat your favorite food, zone out in the bath, watch your favorite drama—the content doesn't matter. Intentionally creating 'time to be completely off' is necessary to keep working for a long time.
💬 'Feeling tough' is not a weakness
I will be honest.
After talking to a mom who is feeling down, I sometimes feel down myself.
I don't think that means I am 'weak as a midwife' anymore. In fact, I think it is proof that I truly received that person's story.
I don't want emotional labor to be treated as if it doesn't exist. I don't want the exhaustion to be dismissed as 'it's natural because you're a professional.'
Midwives are human, too. We can empathize with others because we have hearts that feel. Protecting that heart ultimately leads to protecting the care for the mom in front of you 🌸
🌱 In conclusion
I am writing this series on my inner conflicts because I don't want to impose a 'perfect midwife image.'
I want there to be a place where people who work in jobs that involve supporting others can say, 'It's tough.' If midwives who feel the same way can think, 'Oh, I'm not the only one,' that is enough for me.
You staying healthy is what truly leads to good care.
Thank you for your hard work today.
[About the Author]
Chi the Midwife
After working at a general hospital, I participated in the launch of a clinic.
I have experience in establishing systems for painless delivery and developing manuals.
Currently, I am engaged in multiple side jobs, including industrial health and providing support for expectant and nursing mothers.
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