2025/09/25 The Gap in Parenting Perspectives Felt at Work: Hugging Time is Only for Now

2025/09/25

When I open the window, the air, still holding a chill, gently wraps around me. Past 5:30, the dim light slowly illuminates the room, and a band of pale light peeks through the gap in the curtains.

I feel the change of seasons in the temperature difference.
By the time I dropped my second daughter off at nursery school and headed to work, I was already starting to sweat.

On this day, I encountered an unexpected remark during a casual conversation at work.

“If they’re in their final year of preschool, you don’t really hug them anymore, right?”

I couldn't believe my ears.

Knowing that what is a completely natural part of my daily life appears surprising to others made me feel a little unsettled deep inside.

My time for hugs

In our home, we hug almost every day, both morning and night. Not just my 6-year-old second daughter, but my 3rd-grade eldest daughter as well.

When they are sleepy, when they are anxious, or when they just want to be spoiled.
When I see the faces of my children asking for a hug, I naturally reach out my arms.

It is a signal of security for the children, and a precious moment for me to confirm my love for them.

Even though they have grown bigger, they are still just little kids.
Even after they become elementary school students, I don't think the desire to be spoiled will disappear so easily.

What differences in generation and position reflect

At work, there are many seniors who have grandchildren, single colleagues, and mentors whose children are already adults.

In fact, I am the only one currently in the thick of raising children.

That is probably why the sentiment, “You don’t hug them anymore, right?” arises. Or perhaps, is it common for everyone to stop hugging once children reach their final year of preschool?

When I answered with a laugh, “Oh, we still hug every morning and night!” everyone around me laughed too, but I still felt a distance in those words.

Perhaps the reality of parenting is hard to share unless you are looking at the same scenery.

It is only natural that perspectives differ when generations and positions are different.
I realized deeply that there seems to be a much wider gap than I had imagined.

I want to cherish and hold onto the present

It also became an opportunity for me to re-examine the “norm” of my own parenting. Hugging is an indispensable part of my daily life, but it is not a given for everyone.

The time for hugs is not eternal; it will naturally come to an end someday.

That is exactly why I want to engrave “the present, where I can still hug them” into my heart. Being able to hold their small backs is a privilege only for now, and it is a warm time that flows only between parent and child.

Have you hugged your children lately?
And are there any “norms” in your family that you think might be a little different from those around you?

I hope you can protect the precious time for your family without worrying too much about the eyes of others.

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Please feel free to check out whatever interests you♪

Thank you so much
for reading today as well.

I am truly grateful
for your presence in reading this far✧︎*。

The fleeting interactions that get buried in daily life
might just be the greatest treasures.

Without pushing yourself, little by little.
Let’s find the small treasures of each day.
See you again!