The story of how I, who was bad at studying, went out and played with the world

I have always been bad at studying.

Especially English.

I even got a zero on a middle school test once (lol).

When I was in middle school, I barely listened in class.

I didn't like my teacher, and I only remember turning around to talk to my friends.

Even when I studied before a test, nothing would sink in.

That's why I...

I thought, 'I'm just bad at studying.'

That's what I believed.

From getting a zero in English to New Zealand

For some reason, I ended up going on a one-year exchange program to New Zealand while I was still in high school.

Of course, I couldn't speak any English at first.

But something strange happened.

Before I ever studied grammar,

I started imitating how people spoke.

The rhythm of the language.

The intonation.

The movement of their mouths.

'Oh, so that's how you say it.'

'Oh, so that's what that sound is.'

That is how I listened and imitated every day, completely absorbed.

One day, a local person said to me:

"Wait, you're Japanese? I thought you were a native speaker."

Huh?

Me?

Even though I used to get zero on English tests?

The reason I could speak without knowing grammar

As my time studying abroad was coming to an end,

I had started taking classes in the top level at a language school for Japanese speakers.

One day, the teacher started explaining a grammar point.

"You know this grammar, right?"

I answered honestly.

"I don't know it.😊"

The classroom went silent.

The teacher looked surprised and said,

"What? At your level, there's no way you don't know it!"

She was genuinely shocked (lol).

The truth is,

I didn't know relative pronouns,

or verb tenses either.

I knew almost none of the names of grammatical rules.

However, I was told that I used them naturally in conversation.

After returning to Japan, I took the Eiken test.

While studying abroad, I once showed a reference book to my host mother,

and at that time,

"What is this? I don't understand what this means (lol)."

she said, holding her head in her hands.

I learned that even native speakers,

even though they speak naturally in daily life,

are not consciously thinking about grammar in detail.

By the way, even now,

I still don't understand English grammar very well (lol).

Even so, I passed the Eiken test,

and I was able to get a score of 770 on the TOEIC.

I wasn't "bad at studying"

Recently,

I finally realized one thing.

It wasn't that I was bad at studying.

I was bad at being taught by others.

I, for one,

I was someone who learned through experience.

My textbook was the world.

Looking back,

It wasn't just English.

Seeing my mother crying,

I wondered, "Why does life seem so difficult for her?"

Looking at plants,

I wondered, "Why do they grow here?"

Talking with AI,

I wondered, "Why do you think that way?"

I was always,

Instead of textbooks,

Observing the world.

My mother was a teacher of shigin (traditional Japanese poetry chanting).

Moreover, she had become the best in Japan many times,

And my family home is the head school of shigin.

Since I was a child,

I listened to sounds closely,

And grew up in an environment where imitating them exactly was natural.

That is why English, too,

Perhaps I learned from sound,

rather than from grammar.

Books are not teachers, but a way to check my answers

I also like reading books.

But I don't really have the feeling of learning from reading them.

For me, books are

not things to learn from,

but a way to check the answers to things I've realized in life.

That is why,

Kukai, too.

The Buddha, too.

Psychology, too.

Brain science, too.

Every time I read them, I think,

“Ah, I knew it.”

By playing with the world, I found I could do more things

And recently,

I realized one more thing.

I wasn't living to learn.

I was just,

I was just playing with the world.

When my child says,

"I don't want to eat meat."

I say,

"Oh, I see.😊"

Then let's try making a hamburger out of beans.

Let's try making koji consommé too.

Chinese koji also looks interesting.

By playing around like that,

my range of cooking and what I could do kept increasing.

When the sales space at the roadside station became cramped,

an unexpected event occurred.

But I thought,

"Well, what should I do?"

and bought a stand,

and rebuilt the sales area.

Then,

it became much easier to see,

and a more eye-catching sales area.

Now,

I am grateful for that event.

Because there was a challenge,

new ideas were born.

For me, a challenge is,

not something to be troubled by,

but perhaps a trigger to play in a new world.

Before I knew it,

“How do you know even that?”

“Who exactly are you?”

I have been asked these things more often.

But I myself,

do not feel like I have studied.

I just,

tried it because it looked interesting.

“Huh.”

“I wonder why?”

I was just playing around like that (laughs).

A life that starts with “Huh.”

That is why I,

“want to grow.”

It is not as if I have lived my life thinking that.

I just,

"Huh."

thought,

"I wonder why?"

pondered,

and simply tried out things that I thought looked interesting.

As a result,

Cooking, too.

English, too.

Plants, too.

AI, too.

Before I knew it, the things I could do had increased.

That is why even now,

when a challenge comes along,

I feel a little excited.

"Huh."

"What shall I play with next?"

That is the feeling I get.

Schools have their own way of learning.

However, everyone has

a way of learning that suits them.

I have

lived by observing the world,

and playing with the world.

I believe that for me, learning

is not something you get by working hard,

but a gift that quietly followed after I played with the world.

I think that is what it is.

So, I am sure that tomorrow too,

"Huh."

I look forward to encountering events that make me think that.

🌿 For those who want to face their own hearts

If you read this article and

"I want to try remembering my own way of living, too."

To those who feel that way,

I currently offer a **3-month accompaniment program 'Work to return to a self that doesn't compare with others'** and a 90-minute phone session.

This is not a place to provide answers,

but a time to dialogue with your own heart,

and remember your true self.

For more details, please check the link in my profile🌿

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