Allow yourself to say, "Why me?"
"Why do I have to be the one to go through this?"
Have you ever felt an uncontrollable surge of anger or sadness like that?
But immediately after thinking it, you might soothe yourself and gently suppress that voice, saying,
"No, there must be people who have it worse,"
"That person is busy, too."
Today, I would like to talk to you—someone who has been kinder and worked harder than anyone else—about allowing yourself to express the "cry" from the bottom of your heart.
1. That day when the "normal" outside the window was blinding
I once worked as a temporary employee when I was suddenly struck by asthma, and then, compounded by an injury, I spent long days filing for workers' compensation.
What was most painful, even more than the poor health itself, was the time I spent watching people walk by outside my window, living "normally" and working normally.
"Why am I the only one suffering so much?"
"Why am I the only one filling out these forms while living in uncertainty, not knowing when it will end?"
The brighter the daily lives of those around me seemed, the more I felt like I was the only one left behind in a dark tunnel, and the question
"Why me?"would not leave my head.
2. The emotional dead end that "kind people" fall into
Even when you are placed in an unreasonable situation, don't you find yourself thinking about the other person's circumstances?
"The person in charge must be busy, too."
"The company must have its own position to consider."
That kindness, trying to understand the other person, is a wonderful quality of yours.
However, because of that kindness, your own true feelings of "sadness," "frustration," and "I need help" can lose their place and accumulate deep inside your heart.
You cannot fully express your anger.
You cannot fully blame them.
The feelings you swallow lose their place,
and before you know it, they wear down your heart.
3. Saying "I'm struggling" is not selfish
I used to think that feeling"Why me?"was somehow shameful. But now, I can say it clearly.
Saying "I'm struggling" when you are struggling. Saying "I'm in pain" when you are in pain.
That is never selfish.
The words "Why me?" are proof that you have been trying your best to live your own life,and they are an important SOS from your heart saying, "I've reached my limit."
Without denying those feelings,"That's right, it's painful, isn't it?"acknowledging them yourself is the first and greatest step toward healing a wounded heart.
4. You can move forward even while remaining weak
When you allow yourself to feel "Why me?"
a little bit of "space" begins to form in your heart.
In that space, you can finally start to ask a new question:
"So, what can I do as I am right now?"
I used to be desperate, thinking, 'I have to get back to normal as soon as possible.' But now, I think, it's okay to embrace my weaknesses and look for what I can do as I am right now.
Asking for help is not a defeat. Relying on others is not a weakness. Through unreasonable experiences, you are in the process of being rebuilt into a person with more depth, far more sensitive to the pain of others than you were before.
Tonight, please gently cradle the words you have been swallowing all this time in the palms of your hands.
'It's okay to think, "Why me?" You've worked so hard.'
Please forgive yourself like that and get some rest. You are already wonderful just as you are.
The anger you've swallowed,
The sadness you couldn't express,
These are actually proof that you have survived.
How I personally faced those emotions,
'Why me?'and how I gradually moved past it.
I have compiled that journey into a guide.
Please wait a little longer for the release🌿
🌿Related Articles
▶On the hardest job of all: 'waiting' without getting an answer
（https://note.com/iyohibi/n/ne695ca395e37）
▶ To those who close their hearts every time they are told, 'You seem fine'
（https://note.com/iyohibi/n/nec128a6fcee4）
▶To those who close their hearts every time they are told, 'You seem fine'
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