The struggle of being thought to be back to normal

I've been thinking about this a lot lately.

I feel like people think,
'You're back to normal now, right?'

It's true that
the cast is off,
and I look the same as before.

I'm doing things around the house,
and I can go outside.

But, in reality, it's different.

It still hurts.
It hurts when I walk for a long time,
and it throbs after I move around.

Even so,
I feel like it's not right to say so every time,
so I end up saying 'I'm fine'.

As a result,

'You can do it,'
'You're back to normal,'

is what people think.

Honestly, that's the hardest part.

It's not that I can do it;
I'm just pushing myself to do it.

But that's not something people can see from the outside.

I think this is what it means to feel the struggle
of not being understood.

Even if I tell them, it doesn't get through,
and if I tell them too much, I just end up feeling worse myself.

That's why I've been thinking lately.

That I don't need them to understand everything.

Instead,
I'll make sure to understand myself properly.

Like, 'You're still pushing yourself too hard.'

I'm sure there are others
who are 'struggling because people think they're back to normal'
just like me.

🌿Related Articles

👉 The reason I end up saying I'm fine
A story about saying I'm fine when I'm actually not.
（https://note.com/iyohibi/n/n0e6e7d838411）

👉 The kinder you are, the more you bottle up
Before I knew it, I had put myself last.
（https://note.com/iyohibi/n/n9dee9c0f30f4）

👉 Words that hurt when I was struggling
Days when a casual remark stayed in my heart.
（https://note.com/iyohibi/n/n39dae33af0c2）

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