Bipolar Newsletter Vol. 4: The Journey from Civil Servant to Fully Remote Employee

This is the 4th issue, and I'm starting to get into the swing of things.

At my doctor's visit last Thursday, the dosage of my main medication (lithium carbonate) was increased from 400mg to 600mg.

I didn't realize my medication could still be increased even after six years of treatment. I felt down for a moment, but I decided to accept that since the mind and body are always changing, it's only natural for treatment to change along with them.

Well then, I look forward to your continued support this week!

The journey from civil servant to fully remote employee

Thankfully, I received a message (?) last time, so I'd like to talk about the content I received. Thank you!

The request was, "I'd like to hear about your career changes in as much detail as possible."
I can write about it in extreme detail, no problem.

For now, let me list out my work history and medical history.

Here is a bit more context between the lines.

…Does this help as a reference for your job search motivation!?

The points I can share with you are:

1) How much do you actually want to work?
2) Can you endure commuting in the middle of summer and winter?
3) If you're aiming for remote work, small businesses are the target

First, regarding 1), if you are happiest when you are free, then finding a job that is as free as possible is enough. However, the problem is when you "get sick if you don't work to some extent."

For the companies or industries you want to work in, you need to determine if the workload is at a level that won't lead to overactivity, or if the workload can be adjusted.
Even if they say there is no overtime, the density of the work during working hours might be extraordinary, so this is difficult, but…

Since adjusting the workload among employees can cause stress, the ideal situation is to be able to adjust it yourself within a certain period, such as a week or a month, by saying, "I'll do the minimum amount of work today" or "I'll do more work today."

In that case, no matter how much you like it, it's hard to consider jobs that involve customer service as an option.
I also liked customer service and wandered between city hall and insurance agencies, but I eventually gave up on it. (I'm sure there are people who can do it well, though!)

I can't give you the optimal solution, but from this perspective, I chose administrative work. Since the industry is IT-related, customer interaction is almost entirely text-based. There are occasional meetings via phone or Zoom, but the frequency is low.

Next is (2) commuting.
I couldn't handle midwinter. In my later years at the insurance agency, I used to pull a carry cart with a seat to get around. I couldn't endure waiting for buses or walking on the way...

If a manic or hypomanic period overlaps with a comfortable time of year like spring or autumn, it's easy to accidentally overlook this point(Actually, I've done this at the green onion field too), so I recommend job hunting while constantly asking yourself: Can I commute even in midsummer or midwinter? Am I in a manic phase right now?

Finally, (3), if you are aiming for remote work.
It's really hard to find job openings that are full-remote from the start and accept beginners. (If you have experience as an SE or in web production, I'm sure the possibilities would expand, but...)

I'm sorry that I'm the only sample of getting hired, but it's quite common for small businesses to recruit administrative staff (freelancers) on CrowdWorks.
In the case of small businesses, it's rare to hire an administrative clerk at the time of startup, and the business owner is often doing the administrative work themselves.

Whether you'll get a job offer is a gamble, but I think it's easier to find remote administrative or document creation work itself, so if you are hoping for remote work, I think it's a good idea to take a look at CrowdWorks listings while you're at it.

...Is this helpful!?
I hope it helps in some way.

I hadn't really organized my work history and medical history together before, so this was a good opportunity to look back on the past. Really, be careful of mania. Thank you for your letter (I'll just call it a letter now)!

Review of last week's activities and mood

To determine the appropriate amount of activity, I am keeping activity and mood records.

Here is a summary of last week's mood records.

The week before last (the week before this one), there were days when it swung to "0" or "+1", so I was wary of mania and set a goal to"not get ahead of my plans"but my mood ended up dropping again anyway. There were three days of "-3".

When I add my activity records to those mood records, it looks like this.

Including my daily routine, I am surprisingly managing to get things done. To prevent my depressive episodes from becoming prolonged, I kept in mind “not to rest too much,” and I was carrying that out consistently.

However, my mood just isn't keeping up.
To begin with, the "-3" on 4/3 and 4/6 is likely the backlash from going out on those days or the day before.

Should I be resting a bit more...?
Should I maintain this current pace of activity...?

I am conflicted, but since it is quite difficult to sleep through feelings of "impatience" and "loneliness," I think I will proceed in the direction of “maintaining my activity pace” this week.

While also observing the effects of the increased medication...

Unsolicited Article Recommendation

I would like to introduce one article each time that gave me some insight. Sorry for doing this without asking.
This time, it is an article by Tokotokote | Depression Support Poet.

They wrote a "support poem" for me. I've excerpted a part of it, but please read the whole thing... (tears)

After receiving the notification of the article introduction on note, I later saw on X that it was a "support poem." It became a charm for me. I have been writing while truly wishing to be this way.

There are people in the world who say, "If it's not fun, you don't have to write," but those words are meaningless to me (to us).

Even if it's painful to breathe, I cannot stop breathing, and even if I have no appetite, I cannot stop taking in nutrition entirely. Whether writing is like breathing or eating to me is another story, but even so, "writing is me."

I will continue to write no matter what.
I received a power stronger than any spell.

Tokotokote-san, thank you so much!

Conclusion

I feel like I can write about ten of these.
Since I often spend my weekends with my family, securing time to write is a bit of a challenge, but I want to keep going even if it ends up being on a Tuesday or something.

Thank you for your letters last time!
I am always accepting requests for topics you'd like me to talk about or hear about. Probably. I'm not much of a person, so I'm a bit humbled, but please feel free.

It looks like it will finally start getting warmer this week.
Let's take it easy and keep going.