[Shocking] Listen to this before scolding your child! 3 magic steps to make your frustration disappear

Are you doing this too? The pitfall of 'scolding for the sake of it'

"Hey!!"

Before you know it, you've yelled again...

Your child picks up food dropped on the floor and eats it. I understand the reflex to scold them. But,wait a second.

Actually, that 'scolding for the sake of it' might bemaking your child even more rebellious.

What I'm introducing this time is one of the coaching techniques that was a hot topic a while ago, a technique called'Love Pattern'.

This is incredibly simple yet highly effective. I tried it myself and deeply reflected, 'Wait, has my child been getting scolded without even knowing why until now...?'

Step 1: Confirm the situation with 'What did you just do?'

The first thing to do. That is tostop scolding for a moment.

Instead of 'Hey!', please ask this.

'What did you just do?'

Then, you might get an unexpected answer.

'...I don't know'

What, you don't know!?

Yes,children sometimes don't even understand what they did.

This is proof that youhaven't properly taught them what is wrong and what is right. If you scold them suddenly, the child can only think, 'I got scolded for something.'

If you repeat this question a few times, they will be able to answer properly.

'What did you just do?'
'...I ate what I dropped'

Here is the point! Even if the child says 'I'm sorry',set that aside for a moment. Fact-checking comes before an apology.

Step 2: Make them think about the reason by asking, "Why is that not allowed?"

Next, this is the most important step.

"Why is that not allowed?"

At first, they will answer "I don't know" again. In other words, until now, the child was just apologizing because they were scolded, without even knowing the reason.

Isn't that shocking?

If they can't answer, let the parent explain it to them. However, use words the child can understand.

"If you drop it, it gets dirty, right? If you eat something dirty as it is, you might get sick."
"Yeah."

If you repeat this a few times...

"Why is it not allowed to eat it?"
"Um, because if I eat something that fell, I might die."
"Yeah, that's right. Even if you don't die, you might get sick, right?"

By making them understand the reason, the child will start to think for themselves.

Step 3: Talk about something unrelated as a signal that it's "over"

Once the confirmation and explanation are finished, change the subject immediately.

"By the way, what should we have for a snack today?"

This is very important. Don't drag out the lecture forever.

For a child, being nagged at for a long time is just painful. By switching gears cleanly, you can convey the message that "once you understand, it's okay."

The "real effect" I discovered by trying it

The thing that changed the most after practicing this "love pattern" was myself.

Just by following the procedure of "confirming" instead of "scolding," I can stay calm.

I've become able to tell my child the "reasons" I hadn't conveyed before, and above all, I no longer have to scold them emotionally.

If parents feel more at ease, they can use that extra energy for their children. If you have more room to breathe, you can do better parenting.

Scolding is something you do for the sake of your child. It is not about venting your emotions.

Why not try the 'Love Pattern' starting today?