Easy Parenting (7) Grandpa's Bell Peppers

Introduction

When I was a child, my parents forced me to eat seaweed, which I hated, but I never ended up liking it. Forcing children to eat things they dislike only makes them hate those foods more; it doesn't seem to make them like them.

Many parents struggle with their children's likes and dislikes, don't they? They worry about nutritional balance and try to force them to eat or persuade them. But such efforts often backfire, leaving both parents and children exhausted. Many people have likely experienced this.

However, I have had an experience where a child naturally started eating something thanks to a simple method. That method is the simple act of involving the child in the event.

How he started eating bell peppers

My son had almost no likes or dislikes. Of course, he couldn't handle spicy food. When I think about why, it might be because we didn't let him snack, we praised him for eating anything, and we didn't worry about what he couldn't eat. Well, that's just hindsight, and it might just be his personality.

However, there was one special experience. Bell peppers, which most children in the world dislike, are my son's favorite food. I think he first ate them when he was two or three years old. We were visiting my hometown at the time, and that was probably when we picked and ate bell peppers that his grandfather had grown in his home garden.

Of course, when the dish was served, we all made a big deal out of it, saying, "This is the bell pepper you picked with Grandpa." Then he ate it up. And even after we returned to Yokohama, he would call even regular bell peppers "Grandpa's bell peppers." Then he would eat them up again.

It seems that things you are involved in feel more delicious than usual. This is the same for both adults and children. You feel that the food you cooked yourself is somehow delicious, and you feel attached to the clothes you chose yourself. That psychology applies to food as well.

The core of this method

The core of this method is involving the child in the event. A special emotion is born for things you are involved in.

Experiences like picking vegetables in a home garden increase interest in meals. Instead of just eating vegetables bought at the supermarket, you eat vegetables you picked yourself. This experience of "being involved yourself" creates a special feeling for food.

Also, experiences through interactions with others, such as grandparents, are effective. Even a regular bell pepper becomes something special just by calling it "Grandpa's bell pepper." This combination of the power of words and experience moves a child's heart.

By approaching the child's world, interest in food increases naturally. Even without forcing them to eat, the child themselves starts to think, "I want to eat this." This is the good thing about this method.

Expansion of practical examples

Well, the following year, we picked komatsuna and mibuna with his grandfather. "This is the mibuna that [Name] picked." "What is this?" "It's the komatsuna I dug up and picked." We all made a big deal out of it as a family. In that way, he ate komatsuna and mibuna. I thought mibuna might be a bit difficult for a child to eat, but he ate it energetically.

What I learned from this experience is that a single experience has a long-lasting effect. Just like with the bell peppers, he probably has special feelings for the vegetables he was involved in himself. A single experience has a major impact on his subsequent eating habits.

For things that children seem to have trouble eating, it might be good to ask their grandfather or grandmother to grow them. If a home garden is difficult, the experience of choosing them at the supermarket might also be effective. Involving them in the cooking process is also effective. The feeling that "it's delicious because we made it together" remains strongly in a child's heart.

The important thing is to provide an experience that the child can actually be involved in. No matter how small, an experience that makes the child think "I did it" creates a special feeling for food.

Why is this method effective?

From the psychology of cognitive consistency

There is a psychological tendency to maintain consistency regarding things we have been involved in. The assumption that 'because I picked these vegetables, they must be delicious' actually works in a positive way when it comes time to eat them. This is also a fundamental human psychology that 'things I have been involved in must be good.'

The effects of experiential learning

By actually experiencing something, not only knowledge but also emotions are stirred. Learning through experience is more likely to remain in memory. Rather than just being told 'green peppers are delicious,' the experience of 'the green peppers I picked myself are delicious' remains in the memory much more strongly.

The importance of social approval

When people around you acknowledge you by saying 'That's amazing' or 'That's delicious,' your self-esteem increases. Interactions with others, such as grandparents, are remembered as special experiences. This social approval becomes an important element that moves a child's heart.

Connection to the Easy Parenting series

This method embodies the basic philosophy of the Easy Parenting series. When parents become more relaxed, it creates breathing room. When there is breathing room, better parenting becomes possible.

You don't have to force them to eat; they will come to eat in a natural way. This reduces the burden on parents and, as a result, leads to creating a good environment for the child as well.

Furthermore, this approach shares commonalities with other Easy Parenting methods. It is simple and practical. It respects the child's autonomy and maintains a long-term perspective. A single experience has a long-lasting effect. These are important themes throughout the entire Easy Parenting series.

Tips for practice

Points for success

First, provide an experience that the child can actually be involved in. A home garden is ideal, but if that is difficult, think of other ways. Choosing them together at the supermarket, helping with cooking—any small thing is fine.

Next, use positive reinforcement. Use expressions where the child is the protagonist, such as 'I picked this with Grandpa,' 'I picked this with Grandma,' 'You picked this,' or 'We made this together.' When the adults around them join in and say 'That's amazing' or 'That looks delicious,' the sense of it being special is further enhanced.

And, do not force them to eat. Provide the experience and offer positive words. That is enough. After that, wait for the child to start eating on their own. If you apply pressure, the experience you worked so hard to provide might have the opposite effect.

Finally, utilize the experience continuously. By continuing to refer to it as 'what you picked with Grandpa,' the sense of it being special is maintained. Remind them of the experience through words many times. This leads to long-term effects.

Points to note

If a home garden is difficult, you need to think of other methods. There are various ways, such as the experience of choosing at the supermarket or involving them in the cooking process.

Also, not everything is solved by a single experience. It is important to provide experiences and positive reinforcement continuously.

And remember that the effects may vary depending on the child's personality. Even if this method does not work well, it is important to try other methods.

Conclusion

By involving children in activities, you can naturally resolve their likes and dislikes. This is an easy parenting method where children start eating on their own without parents having to force them.

Parental stress is reduced, and as children engage proactively, their self-esteem also increases. Learning through experience brings long-term benefits. This is the value of this approach.

It is important not to aim for perfect parenting, but to find ways that make things easier for both parent and child. This method might not work every time, but please try various experiences tailored to your child's personality. I hope you find ways to make your parenting even a little bit easier.

(To be continued)