The Mental Diary of a Persistent Cat 3: Things to Do Before Making Peace with the World!!

Recently, my beloved cats have been acting very affectionate. Both of them play with me morning and night, rubbing their heads against my body, wrapping their tails around me, rolling over and showing me their bellies with a purr, and even following me to the bathroom and unexpectedly pressing the bidet button to surprise me. In human years, they are roughly equivalent to teenagers in their late teens. Along with their growing calmness, they still retain a childlike innocence, straightforwardness, and a clingy side, which makes them seem like human youths. Being able to have a life where I am healed daily by these young cats can be called one of the best choices in my life. I strongly believe that the accumulation of the choices I make now will create my future.

Well, I ended up catching a cold and had to spend a very miserable week. My head felt heavy the whole time, it was hard to speak, I had a runny nose, and I felt completely drained. And yet, I went to work, so how dedicated to my job I must be. One could even call it excessive workaholism. I should have taken at least a day, no, even half a day off... I regret it. That was the wrong choice.

I wrote that a bit dramatically, but I truly am reflecting on it. This time, I couldn't put my own health first. There is no job in this world that must be accomplished even at the expense of one's health.

You might think it's just a cold, but it's not 'just a cold,' really. Since a cold is painful, you should rest instead of working. When people say 'it's just a cold,' what they are truly belittling is not the 'cold' but the 'patient's health.' It is the 'right of people to live healthily.' Demanding labor calmly even when the person in front of you looks like they are suffering means losing one's human heart. The 'harsh yet warm words backed by love' from 'capable people' who blame those who are unwell for their failure to manage their health have surely taught countless Japanese workers the beauty and splendor of labor. They say that the joy of fulfilling one's noble duty to work is superior to anything else, and that taking time off under the pretext of recovering one's health is synonymous with defrauding the company of one's salary and is completely wrong.

Whether one should take precautions even for a slight cold, or whether one should prioritize work if it's just a slight cold—in other words, whether to choose the right to live healthily or to fulfill the duty of labor—has always been a topic of debate in this country. Regardless of which you choose, each of those choices creates that person's future. It is not necessarily the case that you must make the same choice every time. For most people, the average value will likely settle somewhere between the two options. Sensibly, somewhere closer to 'prioritizing the duty of labor' between the two options.

In my previous article, I wrote that it is important to live according to one's true feelings. However, in reality, to live in society, we must resolve countless conflicts like this 'I want to rest but I can't.' And yet, if I am struggling even to win against such a tiny conflict, can I really follow my true feelings in more difficult situations?

Ah, that is right; our realistic challenge is always 'how to make peace between our true feelings and social pressure.' What to prioritize and what to sacrifice. That series of choices is life. How should we make peace between the two? Is it really possible to do such a thing?

Modern Japan is, for the time being, a democratic capitalist state. Therefore, if you live in Japan, you are required to follow the principles of democratic politics and capitalism. But since this country is, in its own way, a liberal and democratic country, it is free for us to think, speak, do, and go wherever we want. No one should place restrictions on our expressions or actions, and even if they do, they must be kept to a bare minimum. At least legally.

In every country, there exist rules that bind people at a deeper level than the law, known as 'the rules of the world.' For example, even though the United States has laws prohibiting racial discrimination, in reality, sadly, racial discrimination has not disappeared. Customs and beliefs that existed before the laws were established remain firmly in place. In East Asia, where Confucian influence is strong, there is a hierarchy between the elderly and the young, even though they should be equal legally. In other cases, inheriting a parent's profession continues to be one of the natural ways of life. Modern states, especially in Western countries, have competed to see how free they could become from these old-fashioned and outdated evils. But in reality, despite it being the 21st century, the remnants of the 20th, 19th, or even earlier centuries are still breathing everywhere.

In Japan, for example, legally, workers can designate the days they want for paid leave and do not need to provide a reason. However, in reality, far from being able to designate the days they want, they struggle even to use their paid leave, and are asked for reasons when taking it. It is as if they are vassals who must absolutely obey their lord. Old rules that have been preserved since before democratization make us hesitate to take 100% of our paid leave.

When we start working, we see realities that can only be thought of as anachronistic. Legally, a company should not be able to make employees work more than 8 hours a day or 40 hours a week, but in reality, overtime is allowed without limit. Moreover, we are sometimes surprised to find ourselves feeling hesitant to leave at the scheduled time because we are worried about the eyes of our colleagues. For some reason, we care more about the eyes of those around us than the law.

Come to think of it, we are more familiar with those powerful unwritten rules than with the law, and we are careful not to touch them. It is decided that experts are the ones who know the law, but those unwritten rules are taken for granted that everyone knows without being told. They are firmly rooted in the culture and are ingrained in our bodies as naturally as breathing. That is why, even if we do not violate the law, we react immediately to acts that go against the unwritten rules, and voices of criticism flood in. So, what if you violate the law but comply with the unwritten rules?

Let's organize this for a moment. Society is formed by laws, and the world runs on unwritten rules. What the law controls is modern society. The 'world' is a world woven by traditional rules that have existed since before that modern society was established. Ways of greeting, etiquette, engagement customs, hierarchy in the family system, male chauvinism, how to associate with friends, the relationship between master and servant, old business customs, religious rules, superstitions, neighborhood relations... We hesitate to leave work on time without overtime because we are afraid of being identified as having gone against the rules of the workplace.

Often, those rules with old traditions vary by region, but laws in modern society are applied uniformly within the country. And in a liberal democratic state, laws are built based on the perspective of human rights, without being bound by pre-modern customs (or so the premise goes). Therefore, regardless of age, gender, place of birth, or family background, we are equal under the law, and tradition, custom, and hierarchy have nothing to do with exercising our rights.

We are in a very troublesome situation, living in two worlds simultaneously: society and the world. It might be better to think of them as opposite poles. Since one is a world without overtime and the other is a world where overtime is natural, how extreme they are. We live in a dual world with conflicting disciplines.

Now, in that complex dual world, where should we find our true feelings?

It may be blunt, but the answer is different for everyone. Some people prefer to stand by faithfully following modern laws, while others prefer the traditional unwritten rules of the world. Some people use them differently depending on the time and situation, and some are in the middle. And there are also people who behave freely without being bound by anything.

Ah, I see it now. Yes, we find our place somewhere between society and the world, or somewhere that is neither. Sometimes while making someone unhappy, sometimes while regretting that we should have valued ourselves more, sometimes while rejoicing that it went well this time, we gradually find a balance that is comfortable for us. That process may be short for some people, but it may take a long time for others. While feeling gloomy that there might not be a balance point in this world where our true feelings can reside comfortably.

Then, how about thinking like this first? 'Since there are people who strictly value the law or the unwritten rules of the world, and others who are indifferent to both, we are also free to pursue the balance we like.' It is not that we have to match the strict people, nor is there a correct balance. There are countless people in this world, each with a different comfortable balance, and this world is formed by the overlapping of those countless different balances. We are also allowed to seek our own balance.

Next, I will change the angle a little. I have portrayed modern law and the rules of the world as very solid and difficult to move, but I confess that the reality is slightly different. Among modern laws, there are actually some that are just written versions of pre-modern rules of the world, and some that are based on the concept of human rights but give maximum consideration to the rules of the world.

LGBT rights are a prime example of this. From the perspective of modern human rights, restricting LGBT rights cannot be justified. Yet, the reason LGBT people are not granted the right to marry is likely because social norms remain strong in this area. Even laws born in the modern era have not completely suppressed these social norms. Of course, some norms have disappeared. In the modern age, it would be impossible to justify having a mistress no matter how you look at it. Old customs have vanished. Social norms are not set in stone either.

Laws and social rules are not necessarily polar opposites; they overlap and are constantly changing. Yes, everything is ambiguous and fluid. We must pay back debts because there is a rule that says we must. In the Edo period, laws were sometimes enacted to cancel debts. If you had an unpaid tab for a year, you didn't have to pay it once the year ended. And surprisingly, it was accepted that if you strung 97 mon (coins with holes in the center) on a rope, they would be treated as 100 mon (so, if you woke up early and spent time stringing 97 mon, you would gain 3 mon). Today, no one would accept 97 yen as 100 yen. Even the rules of arithmetic in the economic sector were different. A society with different rules than today can exist. The reason rules seem absolute is simply because we believe them to be so.

Even if there are social rules, customs, and pressures that make us suffer now, they are not absolute or immutable. Even if they look stern and intimidating, they are actually contradictory, indecisive, ambiguous, and swayed by the times. That is all they are, after all. The time from our birth on this Earth until our death is just a fleeting moment. But the state of society is also just a snapshot of a flickering flame. In the next moment, the shape of the flame will have changed.

If this world is fluid, then even if we express our true feelings a little, it won't destroy society or cause a public uproar; in most cases, it would hardly be noticeable. However, if we just move one step closer to our true feelings than we are now, the whole world will become a much more comfortable place to live. As proof, the Liberal Democratic Party's Shinzo Abe won a "landslide victory" in the election with only 17% of the total votes from eligible voters. Since national politics can change with just 17%, you can see the power of the one vote we hold. Yes, we inherently possess the power to change the world just by taking one step.

This is the world we are in. Don't you think it's more hopeful than you imagined? We can quietly approach our own place in the world without the public knowing, or we can even change the world significantly.

What we have seen so far is this: "Some people value social and public rules more than individual freedom, while others value individual freedom, and there are those in between. Therefore, we are free to find a balance that is comfortable for us. And the world has a dual structure: a society formed by laws based on human rights, and a public sphere formed by norms with old traditions. However, neither laws nor norms are absolute or immutable; they are ambiguous and fluid. Therefore, they are things we can change into better forms by following our true hearts." In other words, it is good for us to follow our own true hearts.

Eating the food we like, wearing the clothes we like, playing the games we like, keeping the pets we like, finding a job that suits us, taking time off when needed, learning what we want to learn, choosing friends we get along with... all of these are good things. I know that when your mental health is poor, you can't help but feel otherwise. But choosing what you like is good for you and good for the world.

So, where should we start to make peace with our feelings in this harsh and cold world?

How about starting by eating something you like? When your mental health is completely drained, even that can make you feel guilty, but doing things you like is a wonderful act that nourishes your heart. It is an act of acknowledging and accepting that it is okay to be yourself. Eating something you like, even just once a day, is very easy and serves as an excellent reward.

Of course, it could be listening to your favorite song once a day, or playing your favorite game. Do something you like once a day. That is the first step. From there, gradually increase the choices that satisfy your true feelings in various situations. As those choices accumulate, the future will change into a happier form. Just as I gained my happy daily life by choosing to start keeping a kitten.

A happy future does not exist beyond endurance, but beyond satisfying your heart in this very moment. Don't wait for 'someday'; accumulate happiness now. What is the most important choice for you that satisfies your heart the most? What is the equivalent of 'cats' for me to you?

Even if you want to make peace with the world, you cannot do so without knowing what is most important to you. To explore that, let's increase the opportunities to engage with the things you like. You might have just assumed you liked something, when in reality you were seeking something else. As I wrote earlier, life is a fleeting moment. There is no time to be enduring things. Life will end in a flash just by finding what you like and cherishing it. There is no time to be distracted by interference from the world.

That's all for this time. I look forward to hearing your thoughts. Please look forward to the next one.