You are as you are because you chose to be. — An unconscious strategy of choosing not to change, rather than being unable to.

“That’s impossible. There is no way I would wish for this painful situation I am in now.”

Some of you may feel indignant at this.

However, if we dive deep into the recesses of our minds, into the realm of the “unconscious” that we cannot consciously perceive, we might find a “wish of yours” hidden there that is surprisingly precise, timid, and yet consistent.

1. The reason you don’t reach out even while saying you “want it”

“I want freedom,” “I want to be wealthy.”

Even while saying this with your mouth, you cannot take that final step forward. Isn’t that because you wish to
“remain in a state of wanting it forever”
?

Once you obtain it, the fear of losing it someday begins. The pressure to keep meeting expectations also arises. As long as you are lamenting that you “cannot obtain it,” you can escape into the realm of possibility. Your unconscious may be keeping you exactly where you are on purpose to protect you from the “pain of loss.”

2. What “I don’t need this” protects you from

A workplace full of dissatisfaction, a cold relationship.

Why do you not move from there even while spitting out, “I don’t need this”?

It is because, thanks to that “dissatisfaction,” you are protected from “the risk of failing at a true challenge”.
You continue to choose an unfavorable environment on purpose to maintain the excuse that “I could do it if only the environment were better…”
In psychology, this is called a “secondary gain.”

3. The ultimate choice to “not lose”

For humans, the greatest fear is the “unknown.”

No matter how distorted your current form may be, it is a “known unhappiness.” A new form is an “unknown happiness,” and the brain views that as a risk on the same level as “death.”

You are as you are because you chose to be.

It is the “result of security” that you have desperately protected to ensure you do not break yourself.

The courage to rewrite that “wish”

Admitting that your current situation is your own choice is not about blaming yourself.

It is about meta-cognizing the diligent work of your unconscious, saying, “Ah, so this is how I have been protecting myself.”

Acknowledge your weakness, take off your armor, and face directly what you have been afraid of.

Only then can you graduate from the shape created by your 'past self' and begin to draw the new shape you truly desire, using your own will.

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※ This perspective is intended solely for organizing your internal 'psychological reality' and does not dismiss 'physical or structural realities,' such as unforeseen accidents or social disasters, as being the result of personal desire. Please do not let yourself be driven by excessive self-blame, but rather use this as a 'tool to broaden your future choices.'