Just for tonight, I want you to touch me

I tried not to feel
like I wanted to be touched.

Loneliness is just loneliness.
Solitude is just silence.
In that way,
I kept my distance and accepted it.

But tonight was different.

Suddenly,
I almost had a dream about being held by someone,
and I hurriedly looked away.

In a room where there is no warmth anywhere,
the coldness of my own skin
felt painfully distinct,

Ah,
tonight, just tonight, I really feel like I want someone to touch me.

A few times a year, nights like this come.
For no reason at all,
my breath gets lost deep in my chest.

It might be the rhythm of the moon,
or perhaps some part of me
is trying to remember something.

I can usually say,
"I'm fine."
I really could say it.

But tonight, just tonight—
I was afraid
to let those words pass my lips.

I just want to be touched.
I don't want to be comforted.
I don't want empathy either.

I just,
through someone else's body heat,
wanted to confirm that I am here.

That is all.

── Ririsu Hoshino

🌘Words of Prayer

"May I be able to quietly embrace myself
who felt that I wanted to be touched
just for tonight."

Thank you for being close to me.

The night short essay series is
a collection where there are nights that get damp with just words.
It is a series that gently touches the places where you feel.
Today, try touching me.

If you are curious about my words
and take a peek, you might melt tonight.