The Rabbit Who Plays with Fire Does Not Smile 8

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For some reason, there was a part of me that found Ayuka threatening. Her confident smile and calculated gestures felt as if they were peering into the gaps in my heart.
Instinctively, a sense of awe and dread gradually swelled in my chest.

Leaving the food court behind, I followed her.

On the concrete floor of the parking garage, which had grown completely dark, Ayuka's rubber sandals made a light pattering sound, and the dim fluorescent lights cast long shadows of her.
The air was cool and damp, and in the distance, the engine of a car hummed low.

"Where do you live? I'll take you home."
Ayuka's voice was casual, but there was something testing about it. The woman who had called me out to borrow money was offering to take me home? At her audacity, I muttered, (What are you planning?), while following behind her.

In the corner of the deserted smoking area, Ayuka lit a cigarette. The white smoke she exhaled upward drifted vaguely in the light of the fluorescent lamp. It was eerie to watch the smoke slowly dissolve against the concrete wall of the parking garage.

"Ruri-chan, is your hometown Iida-cho? By the way, how old are you?"
I felt flustered by the abrupt question. There was a tone in her voice as if she were sizing me up.

"Yes, it's Iida. I'm thirty-three. How about you, Ayuka-san?"
I answered while carefully choosing my words, but deep down, I felt like we were probing each other's intentions.

"Oh, the same age? I was also in Iida-cho until I was eighteen. We never met, though. Did you go to public school the whole time?"
There was a hint of light provocation in Ayuka's voice.
What does she mean by 'the whole time'? Until eighteen?

Could it be? In my head, her words scattered like puzzle pieces.
"We didn't meet, did we, Ayuka-san?"
I answered indifferently, but something restless stirred in my heart.

"Well, I went to private school since kindergarten."
Ayuka flicked her cigarette with her finger and exhaled smoke once more. Her profile was illuminated by the fluorescent light, and even though I felt angry, I thought Ayuka's face and gestures were cute.

My jealousy and inferiority complex stretched out like arms, and I felt as if I were being grabbed by the collar.

Even after returning home, the heaviness in my chest did not disappear. The dining room at home was suffocating with the smell of the curry my mother had made and the sound of the news on TV.

A worn-out checkered tablecloth was spread on the table, and the kitchen light illuminated my mother's tired face. My mother started talking with a gloomy expression, holding a spoon.

"Ruri's classmate, you know. The one who was fast at running, what was her name again?"

I wish she would just let me eat my meal in peace. I cursed under my breath while moving my spoon.
"Marina-chan?"

I answered randomly, but as my mother continued, the heaviness in my chest grew even more.

"Yes, Marina-chan. They say she's about to give birth soon. Marina-chan's mother said happily, 'My daughter is in Sapporo, so I have to go take care of my grandchild for a month.' When will our Ruri..."

Oh, enough, be quiet!
My mother's imposition felt like a stake being driven into my heart.
I stopped my hand and covered the remaining salad with plastic wrap.
My irritation reached its peak, and I felt like grinding my teeth.

Why does everyone interfere with my life?
Every time my own emptiness was pointed out, Shota's family photos on social media replayed in my head, and stomach acid rose up.

Suddenly, an idea occurred to me, and I opened my mouth.
"Hey, Mom. Do you know someone named Shirogaoka?"
My mother, who had been looking at the TV, looked up. "Isn't Shirogaoka the family of the Himawari Pediatric Clinic?"

No, that's not it.
"Is there a Shirogaoka other than the hospital?"

"What's wrong? The doctor's brother and his sons are all doctors, aren't they?"

"Is there a daughter there?"

My mother's eyes narrowed suspiciously for a moment.
"Ah, in that case. The pediatrician's brother has a child who went to Kyoto. She was the same age as Ruri and a cute young lady. That child went to Sumire Women's Academy, so she never met Ruri. Why do you ask?"

"Well, I just got to know someone named Shirogaoka, so I was wondering what kind of person she was."

"If she's that smart, you wouldn't have much to talk about, would you? She's very different from you, Ruri. A cute girl like a child actor, like a doll."

Huh? Huh? Huh? My mother's words split my torso in two like an axe. The curry I had eaten came up to my throat, and I felt like vomiting.

Ayuka is a young lady from a doctor's family and a talented woman who graduated from Sumire Women's Academy? That insensitive woman?

No way, absolutely not.
In my head, her pink nails, cigarette smoke, and provocative face at the food court swirled around.

That can't be right.
It shouldn't be possible for a young lady to come to a group date, change men one after another, and drink cola with a slurping sound at a food court.
Ayuka must be a Shirogaoka that Mom doesn't know.

But the surname is rare. If that is Ayuka...
Compared to my life, everything about her is too enviable. Jealousy and inferiority boiled over. The curry that had splashed onto the tablecloth seemed to reflect my misery.