(Parenting) How to coexist with "things I don't like" ~#With a good mood for this~
Today marks the start of the new fiscal year.
I'm jumping on this wonderful, timely project, and although I've posted this article before, I'm editing it at lightning speed! lol
Akari Kudo-san! Thank you for the wonderful project✨
In our home, my eldest daughter has become a 4th grader, and my eldest son has become a kindergartner.
It has been 1 year and 3 months since my eldest daughter stopped going to school.
Even though she doesn't go to school, she plays with neighborhood classmates, and since it's currently spring break, she doesn't get asked "Oh? Is school out?" when she goes out during the day, so she seems to be spending her time with a bit more peace of mind.
However, she has always had this tendency, but year by year, I feel that"I don't like what I don't like"has become much clearer.
There are many things I don't like
Among the things she doesn't like is school, and then there's studying, doctors, medicine, baths, brushing teeth, eye drops... and many other things in her daily life that she dislikes.
There is a proper reason for each one of them,
Doctor ⇒ I don't like it because they might test me for COVID or the flu.
Medicine ⇒ I don't like the taste of either the powder or the syrup. As for tablets, I don't like having to swallow solid things as they are, so I don't like them.
Bath ⇒ I don't like it because when I wash my hair, the cold wet ends touch my back when I get out.
Brushing teeth ⇒ I don't like the taste of toothpaste. I don't like any flavor. I've hated brushing my teeth since I was a baby anyway.
Eye drops ⇒ Simply put, they're scary. (lol)
There are many other things she dislikes, and there is a reason for all of them.
Hating brushing teeth = Hating the dentistand today just happened to be her dentist day, so she was saying no before we even went, and even after we arrived, she was crying and couldn't sit in the exam chair. After 10 minutes of patient persuasion... the exam finally started.
She's quite a tough patient💦 lol
Tending to accumulate negative memories
She has hated the dentist since she was a baby, and it got even worse after she had her first cavity treatment at age 5, and since then, we have repeated this process every 2 months (preventive dentistry)...😅
What she hates about the dentist, besides the cavity treatment itself, is the brushing, other mechanical noises, and the final verdict delivered at the end,
"You had a cavity" or "You didn't have a cavity"
This moment of judgment... she says this is what she hates the most. (I get it)
In everything, shetends to accumulate (easily fixate on) negative memorieswhich makes her anxiety grow.
In fact, she has only had cavity treatment about twice in her life.In other words, even though it ends with "no cavities" almost every time, she is plagued by anxiety every time!
Solution
Once she has a bad experience, she can't do it anymore and won't go near it, so she's the type with a high survival instinct! lol
However, I also feel sorry that her actions get blocked as if she's traumatized right away.
So, as a solution, I try toaim to fixate positive memories as much as possible.
For example, today's dentist visit also ended with zero cavities, so it was "Yay! That's great!", but she can't hold onto this positive memory until next time.
So today, I thoroughly"praised"her.
1. First, I praised her for doing her best at the dentist.
2. Next, I said "You didn't have any cavities because you brushed your teeth every day," praising her for doing her best with the brushing she dislikes every day.
3. Finally, I had her praise herself.
Being praised increases positivity, right?
I feel that by being praised by someone (passive) and then praising oneself (active), positive memories are more likely to be fixed.
Because of that, she even took the initiative to brush her teeth tonight, which she usually doesn't do unless I urge her! (It's also important not to miss that and praise her for it)
Finally
This time, it was a case where the practice was easy to understand, so I'm impressed with myself that I was able to do it well lol
Both children and adults have many things they don't like in life.
Comedian Miyazon-san said this on his YouTube channel. I've excerpted it below.
I woke up this morning, I went to the bathroom.
After that, I have to put my underwear back on. But that's not enough, because if I go out like that, I'll get arrested.
I put on pants, then I put on socks, and then I put on a top, right?
I brush my teeth, and then I might have to go to the bathroom again, and then I have to take them off again, and then I have to put them back on.
I have to wash my face, and I have to set my hair, and then when I have to pee again, I have to take them off, but then I have to put them back on.
Just being alive is hard work (lol)
So just being alive is enough, let's take it easy!
I have things I don't like too, but I overcome them and live brightly.
Excerpt from the video "[Miyazon Style] Solutions for when you're sad"
Isn't he saying something incredibly good, and isn't it incredibly funny lol
It's really true, there are things I don't like, but I want to overcome them easily and brightly!
By the way, as I tweeted the other day, I recommend this Miyazon channel because Miyazon-san says such great things.
It resonates with my heart, hits the spot, and I'm healed by Miyazon-san's smile🍀
Well then, thank you for your hard work today!
Let's go lightly and at our own pace in the new fiscal year~
May tomorrow be a good day too ︎︎♪