The Truth I Realized After Getting a Reading When I Thought, 'Are My Spouse and I Just Not Compatible?'
"Why do we keep missing each other like this?"
I thought that many times after we got married.
Even when my wife is just talking normally, for some reason I feel like I'm being blamed.
Even when I speak with good intentions, for some reason it doesn't get through.
We didn't have big fights.
But somehow, we just didn't click.
Before we were married, we would arrange to meet at the station but couldn't find each other.
We'd have to contact a mutual acquaintance to mediate and confirm the meeting spot before we could finally find each other. Things like that (this was in the days before smartphones).
We'd go shopping together at an Aeon Mall, and while walking around, we'd somehow end up separated, and have to call each other to confirm where we were. Things like that.
If I went shopping at my wife's request, I'd get yelled at for coming home with something similar but not exactly what she asked for. Things like that.
There were quite a few misunderstandings and missed connections.
At times like that, I would wonder.
"What is our compatibility as a couple really like?"
First, I tried a type diagnosis based on our dates of birth.
My type is the"Intellect" type, a cautious 'conscientious perfectionist',
and my wife is also the"Intellect" type, but an optimistic 'loner who loves being alone'.
We are the same "Intellect" type.
Understanding comes before emotion.
I only act after I'm convinced.
It's hard to move forward if the logic doesn't hold up.
In that sense, we were two of a kind.
So at first,
"Since we're the same type, aren't we compatible?"
I thought.
However, when I actually did acompatibility reading,it produced a surprising result.
Before marriage, there was no bond of affection between us
When I looked into our relationship before marriage using a name-based compatibility assessment, I was surprised to find that there was no bond of affection between us.
Furthermore, when looking at the connection of fate, it was only connected from me to my wife.
In other words,
it was a relationship that came about through my connection.
For us, having had an arranged marriage rather than a love marriage, it was a result that made some sense.
Changes that occurred after marriage
However, I was even more surprised when I saw the results of the name-based compatibility assessment after marriage.
After marriage, a bond of affection from me to my wife had been created.
The connection of fate also remained connected from me to my wife.
In other words, my affection for my wife had deepened since we got married.
However...
There was no connection from my wife to me, either before or after marriage. (Sad)
When I first saw these results, I was honestly a little shocked.
“Wait, just me?”
It is a fact that I felt that way.
But when I think about it carefully, there is the reality that we have lived together for many years.
If there really was nothing, it wouldn't be strange if we had already divorced.
That was when I realized.
My wife had been making an effort to maintain our relationship in her own way.
I held the key to our marital relationship
There is something I understood while looking at the assessment results.
That is, the one holding the key to improving our relationship as a couple was me myself all along.
This is because the connection only exists from my side.
Since the connection to my wife only comes from me.
I can connect with my wife relatively naturally.
However, my wife finds it difficult to feel a connection unless she makes a conscious effort.
That is why I had to think,
"Why don't you understand me?"
instead of
"How can I make myself understood?"
I had to think about that.
My wife was the person who appeared to change me.
Furthermore, when I looked at our fated compatibility based on our dates of birth, I discovered something even more interesting.
To me, my wife was
the person who would change me
.
To put it nicely,
someone who helps me grow.
Someone who helps me be reborn.
To put it bluntly,
she is someone who shatters my values and fixed ideas.
She is the person who destroys and rebuilds me~~~
That is why I sometimes get annoyed by her words.
In fact,
"Why would you say it like that?"
is something I sometimes think.
But when I ask my wife,
"I'm not angry. I'm just being normal, aren't I?"
That is what I am told.
It is normal from my wife's perspective.
It sounds harsh to me.
The characteristics of our compatibility were appearing here as well.
Either breaking apart or growing significantly
Our relationship is by no means an easy match.
We are completely different; one could even say we are polar opposites.
Depending on the situation, we may hurt each other.
However, this relationship has a major characteristic.
That is,
that great growth awaits after overcoming difficulties.
We strive to understand each other even while clashing.
Then, strangely enough,
as a couple,
and as individuals,
a power to leap forward is born.
In fact, I think we have both been able to grow as human beings.
Since we, as this polar-opposite couple, have not divorced and are getting along better with age. (We must have developed the capacity of heart to understand each other)
Our activity areas did not overlap at all
What surprised me even more was the compatibility of our activity areas.
Surprisingly, our activity areas did not overlap at all.
Normally,
'Aren't we a bad match?'
one might think.
But in fact, it is the opposite.
This compatibility is suited for couples who can support each other while each lives their own life.
I go my own way.
My wife goes her own way.
And we acknowledge each other's challenges.
That is the kind of relationship we have.
That is why we function better by maintaining a moderate distance rather than being a couple that is glued together 24/7.
In fact, rather than being together all the time, we are more comfortable maintaining a balanced relationship.
Compatibility is something you cultivate, not something that just exists.
Looking only at the reading results, my spouse and I were a match that required quite a lot of effort.
Honestly, it is not an 'easy marital relationship.'
But through this reading, I realized something important.
That is,
compatibility is not something you find, but something you cultivate
.
Fated compatibility is merely a map.
What is written there are the characteristics and challenges of the two people.
However,
what kind of relationship you build is left to the choices of the two of you.
It depends on how you interact and treat each other.
That is why I believe it is important not to give up because of bad compatibility, but to know your partner, know yourself, and devise ways to get along.
Your compatibility is not yet set in stone either.
If you are currently
struggling with your relationship with your partner,
'It can't be helped because we are a bad match'
'We don't get along because our personalities are different'
'It's impossible because our bond is weak'
please do not think that way.
Compatibility is not something that signals the end.
It is a hint for understanding your partner.
Our marriage is by no means perfect.
We are not even acting like typical parents to our children.
We still have challenges even now.
Even so, every time we try to understand each other, we get a little closer. (Or so I think)
That is precisely why I want to share this with you.
Compatibility is something the two of you create together.
If you know, things change.
If you understand, you can grow closer.
And starting today, you can become even closer.
Come on, let's keep getting closer and closer. 😊✨
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I want to support those who are working hard.
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