It seems my compliments are being delivered to the wrong address

"That hairstyle is really cute."

One morning, my colleague T-san
said that to K-chan, a new girl on the same floor.
Even though K-chan had long, straight, silky hair until yesterday,
this morning it had changed to a short cut that revealed her ears.
K-chan's cheeks turned bright red as she was spoken to,
"Thank you!"

she said happily to T-san.
Both T-san and K-chan were beaming.
"Yeah, it really suits you."
As I also spoke up, my heart felt a little unsettled.

Actually, I had also noticed that K-chan had cut her hair from the moment I arrived at work,
and I thought it was very cute.
"Oh, cute. You cut it. It suits you."
I thought.
But I only said that within my own heart.
Even though I could have said that to K-chan if I had just taken a few steps closer,
I didn't.
There was no particular reason.
"That's cute."
I just thought it, and didn't think to "convey it."
But before T-san spoke to her,

if I had told her first—
I could have been the first one to bring out that smile on K-chan's face.
Thinking that, I felt a little regretful.

I have a habit of
"praising people in my heart."
It's not that I'm embarrassed to say it to their face.
I just feel satisfied by praising them in my heart.
"Oh, that outfit is lovely."

"This document is very easy to understand."
"Today's hairstyle suits you."

I think things like that almost every day.
I think them, but most of them never reach the other person.
Because it all ends inside my head.
Of course, I don't mean any harm.
In fact, I praise people in my heart almost every day.
But if I don't say it out loud,
those words will never reach the other person.

Watching K-chan's smile, I thought about such things.

T-san's "It's cute" was just a single phrase.
With just those few words,
K-chan's face lit up instantly.

Even though I had thought the same thing a little earlier,
I couldn't create that smile.

Thinking and conveying.

There is a bigger difference between them than I thought.

I think perhaps I unconsciously assume,
"They'll know even if I don't say it."
Just as I felt someone looked "lovely," I assume the other person knows it themselves, too.

But in reality, that's not the case.

K-chan, who cut her hair,
must have come to work feeling a little nervous.

Does it suit me?
Does it look weird?

It was precisely because she had even a little bit of that anxiety
that T-san's words made her so happy.

At that moment, I suddenly thought.

How many "lovely" moments have I
kept locked away only in my heart until now?

I thought I was praising people, but I had been keeping most of that goodwill only to myself.

Thinking about it, it's a bit of a waste.

Since I went to the trouble of finding something "lovely."
If I can, I want to deliver it to the person themselves
rather than keeping it locked in my heart.

I don't know if the other person will be happy.
But at least, there is a possibility it will reach them.
With a compliment kept only in my heart,
there isn't even that possibility.

So, the next time I think "that's nice,"
I think I'll try saying it out loud, just once.
Because K-chan's smile
taught me that it's worth at least that much.

That said, long-standing habits are not so easily changed.

Today, too, I am

“That bag is cute,”
“That pen looks easy to use,”
“That hairstyle suits you,”

mass-producing these in my mind.

It seems my compliments are still being delivered to my brain before they reach my mouth.

I would like to at least deliver them to the person themselves once a day.

Just like with compliments,
I am still learning how to express my gratitude.
I wrote about an incident that made me think about saying “thank you.”
If you would like, please read this as well.