🌙01- To you who cries alone at night saying 'I can't take it anymore...' - For those who blame themselves (START) -
[Updated July 17, 2026]
Until now, this article was sold for 980 yen,
but because of my strong desire to 'not take away the courage to take the first step from readers who are suffering so much they cry alone at night'
and 'to have them lighten their hearts without any risk first',
I have decided to release the entire text as [completely free] starting today.
I sincerely hope it reaches those who need it.
To you who cries alone at night
saying 'I can't take it anymore...'
The 'one and only method' to break the habit of blaming yourself
(Introduction)
Even on days when your heart feels heavy, you don't have to push yourself here.
Human relationships, self-denial, anxiety, loneliness...
To you who has endured alone while holding feelings you couldn't tell anyone.
I write with two things in mind:
'making life a little easier'
'being able to not hate yourself'I cherish these two things
as I write.
I will deliver stories that gently loosen your heart just by reading them,
and messages that stay close to your true feelings.
Please, take a rest here for a while.
(YoshizaemonZ)
🌙 How to fix the habit of blaming yourself
- To you who blames yourself alone when night falls -
1. To you who blames yourself in your heart when night falls
At night, when you are suddenly alone, the day's events start spinning around in your head.
'I shouldn't have said it that way back then.'
'I failed again. Why does it always end up like this for me?'
'I feel like I've caused trouble for everyone.'
Without telling anyone, deep inside your own heart,
before you know it, you keep blaming yourself.
When days like that continue,
you might become unable to sleep,
find it painful to wake up in the morning,
or become afraid of meeting people.
But here, I want to tell you one thing first.
That is,
the reason you blame yourself
is not because you are weak.
You are not weak,
rather,
it is because you are too kind.The more you are able to consider other people's feelings,
the more you look back on your own words and actions,
and blame yourself, thinking 'I could have done more.'
This, in other words, is the 'flip side of your kindness'.
flip side of your kindness'.
2. Why do we blame ourselves?
There are several common points to the habit of blaming oneself.
🔹① A strong desire to 'be perfect'
Even though you are working harder than anyone else,
your internal standards are too high,
and you feel like a failure even over the smallest mistake.
🔹② 'I don't want to be a burden to others'
The kinder you are to others, the more you worry about
whether your words or actions might have hurt someone.
🔹③ 'Past experiences are influencing you'
・Experiences of being scolded
・Experiences of being rejected
・An environment where you had to endure
These past events create a habit of believing that 'it's my fault.'
🔹④ 'You underestimate your own value'
In reality, you have value too, but
you are the only one who hasn't realized it.
3. The essence of the habit of blaming yourself
The essence of the habit of blaming yourself
lies in 'prioritizing others' feelings over your own.'
It is in that.
You have strong feelings of:
・Not wanting to hurt people
・Not wanting to be a burden
・Not wanting to be disliked
・Wanting to do things right
Those feelings are very strong, aren't they?
That is precisely why you think,
'Was it my fault?'
or 'I should have been able to do more,'
and you are only strict with yourself, aren't you?
But, there is one thing I want you to realize here.
That is,
you wouldn't be that strict with others.
If a friend were struggling with the same thing,
you would say,
'You don't need to worry about it that much,'
or 'You are doing enough already.' You would say that to them.
Yet, you can't do that for yourself, can you?
Please turn this 'kindness'
toward yourself just a little bit.
That is the first step to breaking the habit of blaming yourself.
From here on,
I will talk about essential methods for
fundamentally letting go of the 'habit of self-blame'
that you have carried for many years.
Since I am also a practicing counselor,
I specialize in listening during counseling sessions, but
from here on, I will use psychology to speak with you.
I will also share my own case.
In the following,
'3 methods you can start today to stop blaming yourself' 3 methods are explained.
The 'real reason why you cry alone at night' is,
in fact,
not because you are bad,
nor is it something difficult to change.
I will share the answer to that,
along with three powerful methods you can use starting tonight,
in the next part.
I will proceed step-by-step,
carefully and without pressure, so
when you finish reading,
you will surely think this.
'I don't have to blame myself anymore.'
You will be liberated and feel at ease.
I have also written about my own case, so
you might think,
there are parts that are quite similar to me.
And by the time you finish reading this article,
you will be able to live in a way that is true to yourself.
I am also able to live in a way that is true to myself now using this method.
<<< Until 2026/7/17, this was the paid section >>>
4. Methods you can start today to 'stop blaming yourself'
- 3 steps -
🌟Step 1:
Separate facts from emotions
When we blame ourselves, we
mix up 'facts' and 'emotions'.
Example:
Fact → I made a mistake at work
Emotion → I am a useless person
These two are completely different things.
Making a mistake has nothing to do with your worth.
First, please prepare a piece of paper and try writing this down.
Fact:
Emotion:
Just doing this will calm your heart.
🌟Step 2:
Speak to yourself as you would to a friend
When you are blaming yourself, please try saying this to yourself in your heart.
If a friend were doing the same thing, what would I say to them?
Ask yourself that.
Surely, you would say things like:
・You don't need to worry about it so much
・It's not your fault
・It's okay, you're doing just fine
You would definitely say those things.
Please direct those words toward yourself, just as they are.
🌟Step 3:
Acknowledge your own 'kindness'
People who blame themselves are actually very kind people.
・You can consider other people's feelings
・You can reflect on your own actions
・You want to be sincere
These are not things that everyone can do.
When you find yourself blaming yourself, please say this to yourself:
'I am feeling this way because I am kind'
With these words, the weight in your heart will suddenly feel lighter.
[In my case]
I have had a disability since before I was born, and I kept blaming myself for a long time.
If something happened, I would think, 'Could it be my fault?' or 'It must be my fault.'
However, from a certain point on, once I learned to stop blaming myself and realized that facts are facts and emotions are separate, I began to think that it is okay for me to live as myself, and little by little, I started to feel more at ease.
Now, thanks to that, I don't blame myself, and I am living my life as myself, comfortably.
Thank you.
5. When the habit of blaming yourself disappears,
life begins to change quietly
As the habit of blaming yourself gradually decreases,
・Relationships become easier
・You can start to like yourself
・It becomes easier to take action
・Your heart feels lighter
Such changes will begin to happen.
You are not the kind of person who deserves to be blamed.
On the contrary, you are kinder than anyone else,
more sincere than anyone else,
and more thoughtful of others than anyone else.
Please direct that kindness
toward yourself from now on.
Your heart is allowed to feel much lighter.
Summary
Past wounds
External validation
Perfectionism
Self-denial
It is highly likely that these are intricately intertwined.
By continuing the exercises in this article, your heart will definitely feel lighter.
[Membership Information]
🌙 To you who faces nights you cannot bear alone,
Thank you so much for reading this far. I hope your heart feels even a little lighter.
However, emotional recovery takes some time. It is not uncommon for people to say, 'I feel fine right after reading, but the anxiety attacks me again at night...'
Therefore, I have prepared a special place for you to find comfort in your daily nights and recover deeply from the root.
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Information on a special 'Individual Consultation' where the hearts of those who have experienced it have changed dramatically
'I don't just want to read articles, I want you to listen to my worries directly and walk alongside me.'
For adult women who wish for this, I have also prepared a limited number of spots for 'Accompaniment-style Premium Mental Consultation (30,000 yen per month)'. With 24-hour chat support and custom-made exercises just for you, I will be by your side every single night.
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