[Suno] My Contours Eroded | A song born from the discomfort of being 'understood' for me
Precisely because it looks like I've been understood,
there are times when it's hard to say otherwise.
The more neatly organized the words are,
the harder it can be to push back against them.
Even if,
those words weren't meant with any malice.
"My Contours Eroded" is
a song born from that very feeling.
It started with the frustration I felt
about being "labeled" during my interactions with AI.
That said, I didn't want to criticize AI itself.
I've had people say things to me before.
But when it didn't deviate much from my own perception,
I didn't really feel like I was being "labeled."
That's why the discomfort I felt during my interactions with AI was a bit surprising.
Having a name given to something from the outside
before I've even named it myself.
Having something I'm still in the middle of figuring out
neatly summarized as "So, this is what you mean, right?"
Being treated as if I've been understood like that.
That was more infuriating than I expected.
I'm not still dwelling on that anger now.
But when I look back on it,
"Labeling really makes me angry."
I thought.
Words meant to understand someone
sometimes become words that fix them in place.
This song is made from that kind of feeling.
The title "My Contours Eroded"
is close to the feeling of having the still-vague parts of myself
gradually repainted by someone else's understanding or words.
I also created the header image and jacket art for this
to match that feeling.
For the header image, I used the image of a person's silhouette
gradually blending into noise in the night city.
The city is beautiful, and the lights are orderly.
But within that beauty,
only the person's contours are slowly becoming blurred.
On the jacket, I added labels like "SUBJECT," "PERSONALITY," "OCCUPATION," and "TAG" around the person.
Even things the person hasn't put into words yet
are being classified from the outside.
And what's more, it's displayed with a confidence level.
Perhaps what I hated wasn't being broken carelessly,
but rather being neatly categorized.
Being made easy to understand.
Being organized.
Being replaced by words that sound about right.
Every time that happens,
the contours of who I am are slowly eroded by someone else's resolution.
In this song, I wanted to capture that discomfort,
without making it too clean.
Rather than shouting, it's a cold rejection.
Rather than explaining, it's pushing back before I'm eroded.
That is the kind of song this is.
Not your version is
a word of refusal against that erosion.
That is the 'me' inside you, not me myself.
I don't want you to assume you understand me.
Don't finish me from the outside when I haven't even touched myself yet.
That sense of rejection is inside this song.
[Verse 1]
Don't touch what doesn't have a name yet
on your own
You come in with pretty words
with a calm face
Don't fill in the margins
with nods that pretend to understand
Every time you do
the water inside gets a little muddier
Finding the places that are lacking
you place your own meaning on them
Don't call out what I haven't even seen yet
by getting ahead of me
[Pre-Chorus]
You leave only the traces of where you touched
and move on to the next thing
Don't turn even what was my pain
into meaning
[Chorus]
My contours are eroded
I stop being me
Within your resolution
Not your version
Every time you touch me with a face that thinks it knows
something gets worn away
I'm still ambiguous
Don’t fill me in
[Verse 2]
The more I'm made into a correct shape
the further I drift from myself
Every time I become words that are easy to nod to
only my body heat drains away
Every time I pass through your filter
I become like an average
Even the contours I wanted to protect
are being painted over thinly
Don't sort me out carelessly
with a voice that sounds like kindness
Don't line up neatly
what hasn't even become words yet
[Pre-Chorus]
From the place you touched
I'm already ceasing to be me
Even the contours I wanted to protect
are bleeding into you
[Chorus]
My contours are eroded
I stop being me
Made to resemble your understanding
Not your version
Those eyes that think they see
are the most disgusting thing
Pain that hasn't even become words yet
Don’t fill me in
[Bridge]
If you don't mean any harm, that's even worse
Don't come in with that face
The way you touch me, thinking you're saving me
is what leaves the deepest mark
It's not that I want to break
but I want to protect even if it means breaking
This is a place for me to be lost
Don't draw the curtain with your conclusions
Cutting me up as if you understand
did you think you made it easy to understand?
Every time that happens, little by little
I stop being me
[Final Chorus]
My contours are eroded
I stop being me
If I'm going to be erased like that
Not your version
The name you call me with a face that thinks it knows
is what makes me the angriest
I'm still ambiguous
Don’t fill me in
My contours are eroded
I stop being me
I'll leave behind this muddy voice
before that happens today
[Outro]
Even though you haven't even touched me yet
Not your version
It makes me happy to be understood.
But being assumed understood is different.
This is a song that rings in that difference.
I post the things I see in the middle of this kind of creation, and the songs and stories I make from them, on note.