[Eat Love] #33 "One blood, crimson chest, life of spring"

"I understand."

Kuroki hung up the phone, took some documents out of his bag, and held them out in front of Konno.

The moment Konno saw the words 'Divorce Papers,' he gasped.

"Dr. Fujioka wishes to divorce. Furthermore, from now on, all communication with the doctor will be conducted through me."

"What...!"

Konno leaned forward.

"Wait a minute. This is too sudden. Is Benio really okay with this? Who is going to look after her health?"

"It is what Dr. Fujioka desires. She wishes never to see you again. The doctor's health will be fully supported by myself and the medical staff. We have decided to hire a capable housekeeper for the house. If you let me or Narita know about your belongings at the house, we will arrange for a company to send them to your destination."

"How can you... so suddenly... Can I really not see Benio anymore?"

"I understand that it is hard to wrap your head around this. However, over this past year, the doctor has been deeply troubled. After much deliberation, she has made the decision that will allow everyone to be the healthiest."

"Please, try to understand the doctor's feelings. ...The sense of loss from being betrayed by a partner she had trusted from the bottom of her heart for so many years."

"……………………"

That's right. I was the one who betrayed. I have nothing to say.
However, I never expected it to end so suddenly. While I was stunned, wondering what the peace I had cultivated until now had been for, I realized that I was the very person who had broken that peace, and I felt the most powerful sense of self-loathing I had ever experienced since I was born.

Looking down at the desk, Kuroki held out a small, milky-white velvet case to Konno, whose heart still could not accept the situation.

"The doctor says he is returning this to you."

Konno opened the case.

It was the wedding ring he had given to Benio twenty-two years ago.
When Fumio was still a young employee who had just joined the company, he was worried because he couldn't afford anything very expensive, so Benio chose a pair that cost fifteen thousand yen.

A passage from Storm's "Immensee" flashed through Fumio's mind.

-"You will never come again, will you?" she finally said. "I know it. Please do not lie to me. You will never come again, will you?" -

Elisabeth, the first love of the protagonist, looked a lot like Benio.

"The doctor has one message for you: 'I will divide your mother-in-law's rose bushes, so I want you to grow them at your new home. I will take good care of the remaining roses.'"

The roses in the garden were ones that had been passed down from Konno's mother.

The person he married, thinking she was a little girl he needed to protect, had at some point come to stand beside him, and before he knew it, had overtaken him by one or even two laps.
He had known for a long time that their eyes hadn't met. He had intended to look in the same direction, but it was Shio who had changed her orientation. Only now, when he turned to look toward his wife, did he realize that no one was there.

As if ruminating over and over on a beloved dream he could never see again, a suffocating madness welled up in his throat.
The man closed his eyes and held back his tears.

“—So, there is something I would like to ask of you.”

With a solemn expression, Benio spoke to Shino.

“With this, almost all the problems have been settled. There is one final thing that absolutely cannot be accomplished without your cooperation, Shino-san.”

“What might that be...?”

“It’s about Konno’s position.”

“That man, Konno, has devotedly supported me for over twenty years. I will never forget that debt of gratitude. The one thing I can do for Konno is to ensure he does not face social sanctions over this matter.”

In Japan, where men and women who engage in infidelity are subjected to verbal abuse, the parties involved are looked down upon just like criminals. Benio’s concern was perfectly understandable.

“Yes. If it is something I can do, I will do anything.”

"Konno's career is something he built up from scratch through his own hard work. I don't want to tear that down. Do you understand?"

"Yes."

"So, I will handle Konno's surroundings and company relations. I can gradually explain that we've separated. The problem, however, is the amateurs. If you get tripped up by an amateur, there's nothing you can do. That's why I want to ask you for a favor."

"Could you please not mention that I am Konno's ex-wife? You can give some vague answer to anyone who asks. I just don't want my name brought up."

"Yes."

"Can you keep this a secret from your parents, your family, and everyone else?"

"Yes. I promise."

It was absolute. Shino replied while looking into Benio's eyes.

Benio took a breath.

"Thank you. I can rest easy now."

"Have some tea," she offered, and Shino sipped it quietly.
It was exactly the same temperature as her skin.

Benio spoke as if looking back.

"...It was over ten years ago, I think. Konno was going to quit his company and become my manager."

"But at the time, I couldn't fully guarantee his success as a writer, and I didn't think I would live a long life either. I asked him to stay independent and keep working as long as he was healthy."

When I look at Konno, the old word "virile" fits him perfectly.
It is hard enough to have the stamina and capacity to support an author with readers all over the world, but he is also responsible for steering the ship that is the magazine. I imagine the pressure is immense.

"Honestly, of course I wanted him to support me. I thought it was quite painful for him to take care of both the company and me. I worried about how I could make things even a little easier for him. But I'm glad I pushed him away, even if it was forced. Now, I can believe that the bravado I showed back then wasn't a mistake."

"………………"

Shino could not fathom how much long-standing care had been exchanged between the two of them. The codes, the atmosphere, the pauses, and the breathing that only a married couple can understand are the special achievements of many years. She felt there was no room for her to enter that dense space between them.

"I've made sure Konno won't come back to me. He may be big, but he's a man with a weak spirit. I want you to be strong and make him happy. I'm counting on you."

As Benio stood up to leave, Shino gathered her courage and stopped her.

"Um..."

"Are you really okay with that, Sensei? ...Are you really, truly okay with this?"

Benio smiled.

"Konno is in love with you."

"She threw away everything from the time when she was youngest and had the most energy and potential, and poured it all into me. I don't know if that was happiness for Konno. As long as she is with me, she will continue to play the role of a mother worrying about her young lady. My love for Konno hasn't changed. I only acted so that she could be truly happy."

"............That is why, I beg of you. Please, stop deceiving each other. By doing things like this, what do you think is the thing you both stand to lose the most?"

"............Is it trust?"

Benio shook her head.

"It is pride. Please, both of you, live long and healthy lives. Proudly, under the sun."

Shino bowed her head deeply.

She could never surpass this existence in her entire life.
She could never defeat Fujioka Benio.
If Shino were in Benio's position, she wouldn't be able to talk calmly to the person who stole the man she loved, and if they had spent many long years together, she would be even less able to yield to some greenhorn. Her intensity is only superficial; perhaps this person's true nature is that of emptiness.

Quietly, without leaving a trace, the celestial maiden departed.

Shino was left all alone in the silent Japanese-style room.

When she lifted her head, the unchanging scene of the Japanese room spread out before her, as if what had just happened were a lie.

As she gazed blankly at the soft, amber-colored, fleeting light, the fatigue she had been holding back rushed over her all at once. Her head throbbed with pain.

Today has been nothing but an overwhelming commotion since morning.
Trying to calm her mind and body, Shino flopped down onto her futon.

It was just when I was about to drift off to sleep.

I heard a hard "knock-knock" sound.

After keeping my eyes closed for a while, I heard the "knock-knock" again.

Shino lifted her heavy body with half-open eyelids and headed to the door, saying, "Yes?"

"It's me."

Startled, she opened the door.

There stood Konno, his shoulders slumped, looking completely exhausted with eyes like a lost large dog.
He looked more helpless than any Konno she had ever seen before.

"Everyone has gone home... I've brought everything to a close."

Seeing the man in tatters, large drops of tears overflowed from Shino's eyes.

"......You are an idiot......"

As soon as she muttered that, she hugged the pathetic man in front of her tightly.
She hugged him with all her might.

"Yes, I am a huge fool. And while I'm at it, I don't have a home either. Could I stay with you for a while until I find an apartment?"

"......You're welcome to, if you don't mind a place like that. It's a stigmatized property, though."

"What?"

Shino couldn't help but laugh at his flustered reaction.

Even so, tears flowed endlessly. He himself was like a child.

The man gently pulled Shino into his arms. He whispered to calm Shino, who was sobbing.

"............I am such a cowardly, cunning, and weak person. But I have no regrets."

Konno's heartbeat was transmitted to Shino.
Shino smelled the warm, living resonance of a creature breathing.

"I like you, Shino-san. I love you."

(Next time)

(Magazine)