Solving Troubles with Adlerian Psychology / Rhinitis That Won't Stop Even After Pollen Season
The young man was troubled. He had suffered from Japanese cedar pollinosis for many years, and recently, even after the cedar pollen season had passed, it had become chronic, and he was plagued by a runny nose.
Seeking a way to spend his days in peace, he visited the philosopher and asked his mentor in life for the answer.
(Note: Please consult a professional for medical advice or diagnosis.)
Pollinosis troubles in the study late at night
[Young Man]
(Sniffling intensely) ...Teacher, I have reached my limit. Even on the way here today, my tears and runny nose would not stop.
Until a few years ago, if I could just endure the spring cedar pollen season, peaceful days would return. But now, the season doesn't matter.
All year round, my nose is stuffed, my head is foggy, and I am tormented by chronic discomfort!
[Philosopher]
That sounds like terrible suffering. Simply not feeling well is enough to threaten one's peace of mind.
[Young Man]
(Indignantly) Yes, exactly! That is precisely why I have come to argue with you head-on today.
Adler asserted that 'all human problems are interpersonal relationship problems.' You taught me that before, didn't you?
[Philosopher]
Yes, that is correct. All of them.
[Young Man]
Then how do you explain this suffering of mine!?
Cedar pollinosis, and this chronic rhinitis, are bugs in my 'body' and a disaster brought about by the 'natural environment'! Where is the shadow of others here?
I am suffering all alone from a physiological phenomenon called an allergy. Do you intend to say that even this is a problem of interpersonal relationships!?
That is sophistry, an arrogant and absurd argument!
[Philosopher]
(Quietly sips tea and stares straight at the young man)
As I thought, you are a resident of 'etiology,' not 'teleology.'
You believe that the 'cause' of pollen and allergies is making you suffer. Well, let's change your perspective a little.
In a situation where you say you are 'constantly having a runny nose and being robbed of peaceful days,' what do you think is the 'purpose' your heart is seeking?
[Young Man]
Purpose!? Don't mess with me! Are you saying I want to have a runny nose!?
[Philosopher]
You are not consciously wishing for it.
However, is it not possible that this 'state of being troubled by chronic rhinitis' is functioning as some kind of 'excuse (lifestyle)' for you?
[Young Man]
An excuse...? What on earth am I making an excuse for!?
The card called 'runny nose'
[Philosopher]
Then, let's assume a miracle happened and your rhinitis was completely cured at this very moment.
All discomfort vanished, and you obtained a perfectly peaceful body. At that time, what is the 'problem that disappears' from your life?
[Young Man]
That would be... not being able to concentrate on work, feeling irritated because I'm not feeling well, and then...
[Philosopher] And then?
[Young Man] (Stammers) ...
[Philosopher]
Is it not an excuse to cancel plans with someone, or a defensive line for not being able to achieve the desired results at work or in your studies?
Or perhaps, is it dissatisfaction and demands toward those around you, saying, 'I am feeling so unwell right now, so please be kind to me, please be considerate'?
[Young Man]
Ngh! Are you saying that I am intentionally staying sick to slack off, or to elicit sympathy!?
[Philosopher]
No. The physiological phenomenon of your rhinitis itself is undoubtedly a real fact.
However, 'how you are trying to relate to others using that suffering.' This is the core of Adlerian psychology.
What is actually hindering the 'peaceful days' you seek is not pollen or a runny nose.
It is the 'fear' of being hurt by others or not being able to meet their expectations, thinking, 'It is natural that I cannot perform perfectly because I have a runny nose,' or 'It is a hassle to interact deeply with people in this physical condition.'
By playing the card of a 'runny nose,' you are protecting yourself from the rough waves of interpersonal relationships and making it a legitimate reason to withdraw.
Separation of tasks and a way of living from now on
[Young Man]
(Clenching his fists, with a trembling voice) ...What a cold-blooded analysis. I am truly suffering, and you are saying it is because of my own cowardice...
[Philosopher]
It is not cold-blooded. Rather, it is the opposite. If this were 'the fault of the environment or constitution (etiology)',
you would have no choice but to curse cedar trees and your own genes for the rest of your life, living in a sense of powerlessness. Because the key to the solution is not with you.
However, if you realize that you are 'using this situation for the purpose of your own interpersonal relationships (teleology),' you can choose your way of living from this moment on by yourself.
[Young Man] Choose... by myself?
[Philosopher]
Yes. First, let's perform a 'separation of tasks.'
'Having a runny nose' is a task of your body, and it is an area where you should rely on appropriate medical care.
However, connecting it to 'I am unhappy and not peaceful because I have a runny nose' is a task of your heart.
Even while having a runny nose, you can face the person in front of you sincerely.
Even while having a runny nose, you can take a step forward in the work you should do.
Let go of the obsession that you cannot be happy unless you become a 'perfectly healthy self.'
[Young Man]
Even while having a runny nose, I can be happy...?
[Philosopher]
Rather, that is the only way. It is 'self-acceptance,' acknowledging your incomplete self.
Whether you have chronic rhinitis or not, your value does not change at all.
Stop worrying about what others think and looking for 'excuses,' and now, with this incomplete body, trust others and contribute to others.
When you have the courage to do that, true 'peaceful days' will visit your heart, no matter what the season is outside.
[Young Man]
(Exhales deeply and quietly blows his nose) ...
Teacher, I don't think I can accept it right away.
However, I have to admit that my heart was more clogged up with 'evaluation from others' than the congestion deep in my nose...
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