Before You Blame Yourself for Feeling Like You're Going to Cry When Scolded
When you are scolded, there are times when tears well up even though you don't want to cry.
Even though you are desperately holding them back in the moment, the feeling of being unable to contain them starts to seep through.
And afterward, you blame yourself, thinking, 'It's pathetic to be on the verge of tears over something like this.'
I think it is very frightening to feel like you are going to cry at work.
How will I be seen by those around me?
Will I be thought of as a 'weak person'?
Will I be thought of as an emotional person?
The more you think that way, the more you may find yourself unable to forgive 'the self that almost cried,' even more than the tears themselves.
Also, the more you try to hold it in, the more your voice might crack or you might start sniffling, right?
And when you become aware of yourself like that, you might end up blaming yourself even more...
You might have had such an experience.
But here, it might be okay to change your perspective just once.
Feeling like you are going to cry does not necessarily mean that your 'heart is weak.'
When you encounter a harsh tone, a feeling of being blamed, or an atmosphere with no escape, not only your heart but also your body can react.
This can be viewed as one type of stress response.
A stress response is when your heart and body react automatically when you feel strong tension or a threat.
Your heart pounds, your mind goes blank, your voice trembles.
Tears welling up can also happen within that flow.
Of course, that doesn't mean that 'it's no problem to cry.'
At work, if possible, you want to respond calmly.
You don't want to show your emotions in front of others.
In a professional setting, having your tears seen is painful in itself.
I think that feeling is very natural.
However, if you continue to blame yourself after you feel like you are going to cry, thinking 'I am weak,' 'It's pathetic for a working adult,' or 'Everyone else can do it normally,' the pain becomes twofold.
The first is the pain of the situation where you were scolded itself.
The other is the criticism of yourself for reacting in that situation.
These two things can be viewed separately.
For example, like this:
'It was painful to be scolded.'
'My body reacted to the harsh way of speaking.'
'I am blaming myself afterward for the fact that I almost cried.'
Separating things this way doesn't necessarily make you feel better right away.
However, it creates a little space before you jump straight to the conclusion that 'feeling like crying means I'm no good'.
You don't have to make stopping your tears your only goal.
First, notice the pattern of further blaming yourself when you feel like you're going to cry.
Try reconsidering it by thinking, 'This might not just be weakness, but a physical reaction that occurred.'
That small shift in perspective can be the entry point to viewing the mental turmoil after being scolded a little more separately.
This article summarizes what is happening in your mind and body at that time, including not just tears, but also reactions like your body freezing up or your mind going blank.