The story of wanting to give birth to my second child at a midwifery clinic (Part 2): My unexpected heart condition, the NICU, and me.
Click here for Part 1.
I listened to what they had to say at a midwifery clinic near my house and
expressed my wish to give birth there.
However,
until about the middle of my pregnancy, I mainly continued to visit the
clinic I had been going to since early pregnancy.
Since I had strong abdominal tightening with my first child and
was prescribed Utemerin, I did this because
midwifery clinics cannot perform internal examinations,
and I was worried about things like my cervical length.
Also,
I liked the clinic I was attending, and
I hadn't fully made up my mind to
give birth at the midwifery clinic yet.
I also had
a feeling of being a little hesitant.
I told the staff at the midwifery clinic about this,
and they said,
(It's fine, since you're probably anxious.
You'll need to see the affiliated doctor later anyway.)
I also told the clinic
that I was thinking about wanting to give birth
at the midwifery clinic.
And,
this clinic required an ECG for all pregnant women, so
I took it as a routine examination.
Huh? I failed the ECG test.
During the ECG test that I took without thinking much about it,
They said, "There's a slight abnormality, so
you need to have it properly checked by a cardiologist."
Huh? Me?
Well, it's an ECG at an OB-GYN clinic, so
isn't it just old?
(A view not typical of a medical professional (lol))
Even though it's COVID, I really don't want to
go to any more hospitals.
That's about all I was thinking.
And so, I went for a follow-up visit at a cardiology clinic.Then they said,
"That is exactly the waveform."
That's what I was told.
??
I've never had any issues with workplace health checkups before, and
I also did quite high-intensity sports in elementary, junior high, and high school, you know?
It's something called WPW syndrome.
I mean, I'm a healthcare professional, so I know what that is.
But me?
I was a bit shocked from that point on, and
the order of events is a bit fuzzy, but
If that's the case,
giving birth at a midwifery clinic becomes difficult.
After informing the midwifery clinic as well,
I also visited the cardiology department of the
general hospital that acts as their affiliated medical facility.
Since I've never had any symptoms,
I wanted to seek the judgment of the cardiologist
so that the affiliated obstetrician
could determine if
giving birth at the midwifery clinic was possible.
The results at the general hospital were the same.
From the cardiologist,
regarding WPW syndrome,
"Besides the normal electrical signal circuit in the heart,
you have something like a detour circuit,
and usually it's fine because the normal circuit is there,
but if it starts looping only through the detour circuit,
it causes palpitations or tachycardia."
"You've had it since birth,
but some people go their whole lives
without ever having symptoms.
My relative is like that."
"Childbirth puts a significant strain on the heart, you know.
It might be better to give birth
where there is a heart specialist present."
That was the verdict.
And so, my dream of giving birth at a midwifery clinic was cut short here.
Huh? I can't even give birth at the clinic?
I had already somewhat prepared myself for the fact that I wouldn't be able to give birth at a midwifery clinic from the moment I failed my electrocardiogram.
When I told the clinic I had been visiting regularly
about the results of my heart examination,
they said, "Yeah. I can't tell you that it's okay to give birth at a midwifery clinic. And, I can't let you give birth here either. If something were to happen, we wouldn't be able to handle it here because it's related to your heart. I'm sorry. I'll write you a referral letter. Where would you like to go? How about XX Hospital?"
!?
What? What? What? There are many large hospitals nearby (in Kyoto).
They said in the prenatal class that if anything happened, I would be transferred to a nearby affiliated hospital.
Even though I've never had any symptoms?
Even though I had no issues with my first child?
I can't even give birth here?
By that time,
rules like "only one adult allowed to attend the birth" were starting to relax a little at clinics and similar facilities.
However, attendance was still prohibited at general hospitals.
Without even being able to process my emotions,
my transfer to a large general hospital
was decided at 33 weeks.
At the same time,
the possibility of having a birth partner present also became 0%.
Huh? Purple... Off to the NICU.
Not only could I not give birth at the midwifery clinic,
I couldn't even give birth at the clinic
(What about the fancy meals? The postpartum aroma massage? *sob*)
I wouldn't be able to have a birth partner anymore.
While I felt some resentment,
the thought of enduring that pain
without anyone I trusted by my side
made me feel incredibly anxious.
I spent a week doing nothing but crying,
but I was already around 34 weeks along.
Since my first child was born at 36 weeks and 4 days (prematurely),
there was a possibility that it could happen any time now.
(Actually, I had been ordered to stay on bed rest at home,
except for eating, using the toilet, and bathing.
I was taking the maximum dose of Utemerin I could handle.)
I didn't really have much time to mope around.
And then, at 36 weeks and 4 days, just like with my first child,
it started with a high rupture of membranes.
(Because I was so terrified of not making it to the hospital in time,
I think it bought me some time
rather than starting with labor contractions.)
My middle child was born while I was hooked up to a monitor, an ECG, and wearing an oxygen mask.
Once the baby was born,
I still can't forget that moment.
Huh? Purple...
The baby was purple.
The baby didn't even cry.
They were treated with a bag-valve mask.
(That thing that goes *squeak-squeak*)
The pediatrician rushed over immediately.
I am a physical therapist, and I also had another qualification
related to the respiratory system,
so I knew that the bag-valve mask treatment
meant things would be mostly okay.
Since I knew that,
I was able to look at the baby calmly.
I think it's quite a situation to be distraught over.
The medical procedures were decided second by second,
and I knew that all of that had to be done in front of the mother.
“If something happens, I am the only one,
the mother, who is watching to see if the treatment was appropriate.”
Even though I had just given birth,
I watched intently.
Since I couldn't have a birth partner due to COVID,
I was the only family member there for this child.
(Later on, the midwife in charge told me,
“Oh no. Is the mother okay!?
…Wait? She’s calmer than I thought…”
Apparently, that’s what she thought (laughs).
We talked about it later, and she said, 'Oh, is that so!!')
After receiving various treatments,
the baby's color turned pink.
Small as he was,
he finally cried.
Based on the pediatrician's judgment,
it was decided that he would be admitted to the NICU.
I'm embarrassed to admit it,
“I'm relieved there's a NICU.”
I hardly thought that at all.
I didn't intend for this, and although I really didn't want it,
I was transferred.
That's what I thought.
Even though I was supposed to have transferred to a general hospital for my own sake,
it was the baby who ended up in the NICU.
◯ Later, what about my heart?
Although I was hooked up to an ECG monitor for a few hours after giving birth,
the cardiologist allowed me to have it removed shortly after.
Because the baby was in the NICU and
visiting hours were further restricted due to COVID,
I had dreams where I was wandering around asking,
"Where did my baby go?" and my mental state fell apart, but
thankfully, the baby was able to be discharged after a 5-day, 4-night stay in the NICU.
I had been told while pregnant that the baby was on the larger side,
and in my ignorance, I thought, "Isn't it fine as long as they have weight?"
(When born, the baby weighed 3024g)
The earlier the birth is compared to the due date,
even if they have weight,
they can't keep up with the outside world.
Apparently, their bodily functions are immature.
As for me, a few months after giving birth,
I went for a follow-up visit at the cardiology department once more.
And then,
"The waveform is completely normal.
If you experience any symptoms,
come back again.
We'll just perform surgery to burn off that bypass circuit."
Doctor, please don't talk about burning someone's heart
as if you're just making a rolled omelet, I thought while saying,
"So, in the end, is it normal or abnormal?
It gets complicated if I have to write it down for workplace health checkups..."
When I asked about it
They said, "Since an electrocardiogram uses electricity to examine the body, it's inevitable that abnormal waveforms will appear when there is a baby and amniotic fluid in the abdomen."
There is no doubt that you have an accessory pathway, but it's fine to consider it 'normal'.
That is what I was told.
In the end, it was 'normal'.
◯ Thoughts on this experience
This story is by no means meant to suggest that giving birth at a midwifery clinic is dangerous.
There are strict guidelines for births at midwifery clinics,
and both the staff and the mothers are fully prepared for the birth.
Besides, since the baby was born at 36 weeks and 4 days,
I wouldn't have been able to give birth at a midwifery clinic anyway, as the baby needed to be in the womb for at least three more days.
These are just 'what-ifs' to help me come to terms with it.
Thoughts on this experience:
Could it be that this child knew something would happen during the birth?
And that's why, whether it was a birth at a midwifery clinic or a clinic,
even if it meant throwing my heart into chaos,
they made sure it couldn't happen?
If I had been able to give birth at the midwifery clinic
If it came to the point where only the baby had to be transported
I would lose all confidence in my own judgment
for the rest of my life.
Perhaps it was meant to prevent that from happening.
And, thankfully, the baby was fine too.
Maybe the baby wanted to be born in a large general hospital.
No matter how much I resisted,
I ended up giving birth at a large hospital.
Maybe the baby decides how they are born themselves.
That is what I thought.
Pregnancy and childbirth
go beyond what I, as a mother, can control.
I felt that something beyond human wisdom was at work.
That was the experience that made me think so.
Thank you so much
for reading this long story.