To those thinking about marriage: Marriage for those born in the Showa era is...
~What is happiness again, what is it~🎵~
I had a love marriage with my husband.
I was 26.
It was neither early nor late.
But for me at the time, marriage was not something I would do someday, but something I had to do.
My parents were people who lived through an era where,
"A woman marries, serves her in-laws, and endures hardship."
My mother herself lived that way.
Hearing such stories, I had thought since I was a child,
"If it's that hard, why get married?"
I was the eldest of three siblings.
From my parents' perspective, I was the "first daughter."
That is precisely why I could not fail in marriage.
There was also the matter of public perception.
When I reached a marriageable age, relatives would call.
"I know a good person."
"You need to decide soon."
"A woman's best years are when she's young."
These are words that might surprise people now, but back then, they were normal.
I also had two arranged marriage meetings (omiai).
One was a civil servant.
He seemed serious, was tall, and was not a bad person.
But I could not give an answer on the spot.
I didn't have the courage to decide my life just because he "seemed like a good person."The other was someone who ran a business.
He was bright and interesting.
But my father was worried, saying, "Business has its ups and downs."
Both were eldest sons, and there was an atmosphere of wanting to welcome a bride right away.
I felt like a cake in a display case.
It was the feeling of being chosen based on conditions, appearance, and age.
In the midst of that, I was dating my current husband.
He was a middle school classmate and a second son.
He is an ordinary company employee.
He is not a particularly dramatic person.
But with him, I could talk things over.
Marriage doesn't last on "love" alone.
But I think being able to "discuss things" was very important.
It has been over 30 years since we married.
Children were born, we built a house,
and there were times when work didn't go well.
It hasn't all been fun.
There are days when I cannot easily say, "I was happy to get married."
But there was also scenery I could only see because I endured hardships.
Hardship and happiness are surprisingly side-by-side.Thinking about it now, there is a sense of security in an arranged marriage.
Those around you are thinking, "This person is right for you."
Perhaps that was also a form of love.
However, any marriage is ultimately about living with another person.
Values are different.
The homes we grew up in are different.
Patience is also necessary.
That is why I don't just dream about marriage.
But, even so.I think that having someone who has spent a long time with you supports your life.
I am very happy that I have made it this far❤︎
Thank you for reading this far😊
Showa Marriage: To be continued
#Marriage
#Couple
#LoveMarriage
#ArrangedMarriage
#ShowaValues
#Family
#Life
#WomanInHer50s
#NoteBeginner
#DailyEssay