Nearly 50 years after losing my brother, I still live while thinking of him

Does the sorrow of losing a loved one fade with time?
It has been 15 years since the Great East Japan Earthquake.

I believe there are many who are still living today with the sorrow of losing someone precious on that day.
The pain of loss is not something that simply disappears with time alone.

I, too, lost my brother in a drowning accident when I was young.

I was two years old at the time.
My memories of my brother are by no means numerous.

Even so, there are scenes I still remember today.

There was a time when I, as a small child, selfishly insisted that he let me ride on the back of his bicycle.

Though he looked a bit troubled, he eventually let me ride on the back.
I think it was only for a short time.

Even so, the sensation of the wind at that moment and something like the warmth of his back still remain somewhere within me.
When March comes, the month of his birth, I offer the fast food he loved.

It is only a small gesture, but when I do so, I feel as if my brother is a little closer.
Even if I cannot see him, he is still there in my memories, unchanged.
I am sometimes gently supported by that feeling.
Nearly 50 years have passed since my brother passed away.
Even so, when I see elementary school students around the age he was when he died, memories suddenly come back, and I sometimes find myself in tears.
For a long time, I carried a feeling somewhere inside me that perhaps I shouldn't be enjoying myself.

However, recently, my state of mind has changed little by little.
There were moments when I felt truly happy.

For the first time then, I began to think that maybe it is okay to enjoy life.
The sorrow of losing a loved one does not simply disappear.

But perhaps, even while carrying that sorrow, people can go on living little by little.
The sorrow does not vanish. Even so, I live today while thinking of my brother.

If you would like, please share your memories of your loved ones as well.

The shape of sorrow is different for everyone.
If there is someone who continues to live on in someone's memory, it makes the heart feel a little warmer.

I have researched not only my memories but also documents regarding the time I have spent thinking of my brother and what happened on that day, and I have left it as a record.

🪷It is here🪷

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