I'm in my 50s but I don't fear failure | Small steps to move forward positively

Hello, this is Hagio.

When you try to challenge yourself with something or start taking action, the first thing that crosses your mind is,

isn't it?

I had those feelings strongly too, and it put the brakes on my final job search in my 50s.

However, I positioned it as the final job search of my life, motivated myself, and took on the challenge, and somehow I succeeded.

Honestly, I was "scared" because of societal norms, obligations, and the age of 50, butI am convinced, in hindsight, that the results were obtained precisely because I pushed forward without fearing failure.

In this article, I will write about some tips on "trying to take action without fearing failure."

1. Introduction: I have things I want to do. But my feet won't move

Past "failures" that come back to life when you try to take on a challenge

"From now on, I will be myself and start a new challenge." When I made that resolution and sat down in front of my computer, there was something that stopped my fingers from moving.

It wasn't a feeling of excitement, but a gloomy and heavy

.

In my 20s and 30s, I would change jobs for various reasons, but I would fail by stumbling over human relationships, or I would quit because I lacked sufficient research beforehand and it didn't suit me, which was another failure.

I truly entered my 40s as a "job hopper" without building a coherent career.

In my 40s, influenced by self-improvement, I aimed for a "one-shot reversal," tried my hand at various side jobs, and failed miserably.

The large amount of money I lost in investments, the vast amount of time I should have spent with my family, and the self-loathing that 'I do everything halfway'...

Every time I try to start something new, those bitter memories from back then wrap around my ankles like invisible chains.

The brake I put on myself: 'I'm at an age where I can't afford to fail anymore'

What torments me even more is the pressure of being in my '50s'.

When I was a job hopper in my 20s or 30s, I could laugh off failures, thinking 'there's always next time' or 'I can just start over'.

However, it's different now. The goal of retirement is looming, and the anxiety about retirement funds and the responsibility toward my family weigh heavily on my shoulders.

When you reach your 50s, there is the fear of what if I fail at this age and can never recover? that takes hold.

Such assumptions act as a powerful brake on taking that first step toward a challenge or action.

Precisely because we aren't young anymore, we become overly cautious about how we take that first step. We try to convince ourselves that avoiding risk and choosing to maintain the status quo is the right answer.

But at the same time, there is also a very real fear of time just slipping away while I do nothing.

In this article, I would like to talk about how I, who was once burdened by that 'inability to move,' managed to loosen those brakes and start walking again.

2. Why are we in our 50s so afraid of failure?

The savings account called 'time' is running dry

Looking back, failures in my 20s and 30s were just 'funny stories'.

Even if I failed at changing jobs or lost money on a side hustle, we still had the greatest asset of all: 'time'.

We had plenty of chances to turn failure into experience and recover over the course of a few years.

However, now that I am 55, what lies before us is not an infinite wilderness, but a destination called "retirement" where the exit is clearly visible.

If I were to make a major mistake here and lose my assets or damage my career, there is no longer enough time left to recover from it.

The feeling that "a single mistake could be fatal," as if walking along the edge of a cliff. This impatience toward the "time limit" is the very thing that makes us hesitate.

The weight of "what must be protected" leads to the rejection of risk

Looking back at the failures of my 40s, they were certainly painful, but I still had an "offensive" mindset somewhere, and I still had physical stamina left.

However, now in my mid-50s, the reality that this is not just my own problem weighs heavily on my shoulders.

The tuition for my college-aged children, the lives of my parents who are beginning to need care, and the savings for my own retirement.

What we are carrying is not just "our own dreams," but the treasure of "family peace," which must never be broken.

If I fail in a challenge and compromise the stability of my current job or deplete my meager savings, I would be dragging my beloved family into it.

The more responsible a person is, the more they feel that taking a new step is like a "reckless runaway," and they end up pressing the brakes hard themselves.

The "career" and "pride" you have built become shackles

Furthermore, the "pride" unique to those in their 50s cannot be ignored.

I changed jobs in my 50s and experienced a "turnaround" where I increased my annual income by 1.3 times.

This success story gave me confidence, but at the same time, it became a new shackle, as I felt I had to maintain the image of "myself as a success."

"I don't want to start something new at this age and look pathetic," or "I don't want the younger generation to sneer at me, wondering what that old guy is doing."

Such petty, yet firm self-esteem tries to keep us anchored in a "safe place."

Even for me, who has repeatedly reset my life as a job hopper, at this age, the pride of "wanting to be someone" gets in the way of new challenges.

I believe that feeling fear is a sign of being "sincere."

I wondered, why am I so afraid of failure?

It is because, in the second half of our lives, we are trying to face our own lives and our responsibilities to those around us with more "sincerity" than ever before.

The concept of fear is also proof that we deeply value what we have worked so hard to build up until now.

However, if we leave this fear as it is, we will end up rejecting "change" and simply waiting for our own decline.

What is important is not to erase the fear, but to correctly understand its true nature and then figure out how to shrink it down to a "controllable size."

3. Redefining failure not as a "loss," but simply as "data"

Why do we assume that "failure equals loss"?

Before we know it, we have developed a habit of unilaterally calling the results of a challenge that didn't go well a "loss (negative)".

Money lost, time wasted, wounded pride... We add these up, conclude that we have "suffered a loss," and, fearing that pain, we seal off our next step.

However, I stopped to think about this: are we really afraid of the "result" itself?

Or is it the brand of "I am no good" that we are placing on ourselves in response to that result?

In a survival strategy for your 50s, I feel that the emotion of judging yourself as "I am no good" becomes an obstacle.

Instead of condemning yourself, I believe it is about redefining "failure equals loss" as

.

The setbacks of my 40s were the best 'sample data' I could have had.

When I experienced a failure in my side business in my 40s—my YouTube account was suspended, and I was left with nothing but the cost of expensive training materials—I thought of it as a 'stain on my life'.

But looking back from my current perspective, that was an extremely valuable treasure trove of 'data'.

These are 'my own truths' that I never could have obtained without actually trying and getting burned.

They aren't general theories written in books, but one-of-a-kind data on how I, as an individual, fail when I act in certain ways.

Because I had this data, I was able to make the right choice to 'focus on my own strengths' when changing jobs in my 50s.

If I hadn't failed in my 40s, I might still be wandering around looking for a 'magic wand,' and I could have suffered an even more fatal blow.

Thinking of it that way, that setback wasn't a 'loss,' but a 'necessary cost' and valuable data to protect the person I am today.

Success is the 'solution' that emerges after accumulating data called failure.

In the world of science, when an experiment doesn't go as expected, scientists don't despair and quit their research by saying, 'I failed!'

They rejoice, saying, 'I see, I've gathered data that it doesn't react under these conditions,' and then they try the next condition.

Edison's anecdote is a great example of this.

I believe our challenges in our 50s are the same.

If I write a note and get no reaction, that's data that 'this theme doesn't resonate with readers.' If I learn a new skill and fail, that's data that 'this learning method doesn't suit my brain.'

These are all valuable materials that increase the "resolution" of your next move.

The more data we collect, the closer we get to certain success (= a survival strategy that suits us).

Detach your emotions and enjoy the analysis

Redefining failure as "data" makes your heart feel surprisingly light.

This is because you no longer need to blame yourself by thinking, "I am incompetent because I failed."

What is needed is not self-reflection, but "analysis."

Think about your next action like solving a puzzle: "Why did this data appear?" and "Which variable should I change next?"

If you can adopt this "experimenter" perspective, the fear that comes with taking on challenges will gradually transform into "intellectual curiosity."

We are no longer taking on challenges to judge ourselves.

We are acting to collect the puzzle pieces needed to reach our goal of a "happy retirement" that is uniquely our own.

4. Turn the fear of failure into "intellectual curiosity"! 7 ways of thinking to release the brakes

I believe that the anxiety of "What if I fail like I did that time again?" is proof that you are thinking seriously about your own life.

However, it is a great waste for those brakes to stop you from taking on challenges in "this very moment."

What we in our 50s need is not grit, but "failure is data for moving forward" so that we don't have to be afraid of failure.

I will briefly summarize 7 ways of thinking that can change your mindset starting tomorrow.

1. Redefine the word "failure" as "data collection"

If you think you have "failed," your spirit will break, but if you think of it as "gathering data that this method doesn't suit me," then that is progress.

Just like Edison's famous quote, let's redefine all challenges from age 55 onwards as "experiments to find a way of life that suits you."

The more data you collect, the closer you are definitely getting to the "correct answer."

2. Define "doing nothing" as the biggest failure

In your late 50s, the biggest risk is not falling down, but getting older while "maintaining the status quo."

Time passes cruelly, and in a few years, your physical strength will decline further, and the hurdles to taking on challenges will rise.

Let's face the fact that the "risk of regretting not moving" is overwhelmingly greater than the "risk of moving and falling."

"Today is the youngest day of your life."

3. Redefine past failures as "a vaccine for which you paid high tuition"

The setbacks you had in your 40s are a "vaccine" to protect your current self.

Because you know the pain from back then, your danger-detection function works, and you will no longer be deceived by reckless investments or sweet talk.

Past failures have already become a powerful weapon as "wisdom to ensure you don't suffer a fatal wound" for who you are now.

4. Know that "pride" has an expiration date

If the pride of "not wanting to be embarrassed at this stage" is acting as a brake, then throw it away decisively.

I believe that perfection is unnecessary for challenges in your 50s.

"Starting with 60% preparation"is perfectly fine, I think.

Rather, the sight of you struggling as you are and trying to learn new things is what will call for empathy from your generation and attract new relationships and opportunities.

5. Focus only on "things you can control yourself"

Whether you can 'make money' or 'be evaluated' is in the realm of others, which you cannot control yourself.

Because you have expectations there, you become afraid of failure.

What you should do is only your own actions, such as 'writing one page today' or 'trying out a new tool'.

As long as you can do that, regardless of the result, that day is a 'success'.

6. Clearly distinguish between 'scratches' and 'fatal wounds'

The reason why all failure is scary is because you are confusing them.

Losing all your assets is a fatal wound, but having an article go unread or a side job not go well is merely a 'scratch'.

Let's accept that the survival strategy for those in their 50s is a game of 'not fearing scratches and only avoiding fatal wounds'.

7. Look at your 'current self' from the perspective of your 80-year-old self

Imagine it. When you are 80 years old and look back at your current 55-year-old self, what would you say?

Would you say, 'I regret that I didn't do anything back then because I was afraid of failure,' or would you say, 'Thank you for taking on the challenge even while feeling embarrassed back then'?

I believe that what can make your future self smile is the small steps, actions, and challenges you take today.

5. The reason why people who can tolerate failure are the ones who 'survive' in the end

We are now living in an era of more rapid change than ever before.

The common sense of yesterday no longer applies today, and continuing to rely on a single company or a single skill has become a greater risk than ever before.

In such an era, the ones who ultimately survive are never those who 'never fell down'.

Rather, I believe it is those who have fallen many times and know their own way of getting back up.

People who can tolerate failure have strengthened their muscles of 'adaptability' because they have engaged in more trial and error.

My experience as a job hopper in my 20s and 30s, and my painful failure with a side business in my 40s, have all granted me 'resilience against unforeseen circumstances'.

At first glance, it is not a smart elite path, but because I have kept falling in a gritty way, at 55, I have acquired the thick-skinned attitude that allows me to think, 'Alright, let's give it a try' once again.

'Resilience' is the survival strategy for those in their 50s

'Survival strategy' is not about defeating enemies, but about remaining on the field until the end.

What is necessary for that is not the hardness of steel, but the 'flexibility' of a willow that can adapt to change.

Accept failure as data, correct it immediately, and move on to the next step.

As long as you have this 'resilience', no matter how the market changes, or how your health or family situation changes, you can always choose the best option for that moment.

People who are afraid of failure and do not act may seem to be protecting their current stability.

However, staying in one place while those around you are changing is the same as 'moving backward' in relative terms.

I am convinced that those who accumulate failures, collect 'positive data', and continue to ride the waves of change are the ones who can truly secure peace of mind for their old age.

6. Summary | Perfect preparation will never come in a lifetime

We often say

'Once I am a little more prepared'
'Once I have saved a little more money'
'Once I have a little more breathing room'

And so, I find myself looking for reasons to put off taking on a challenge.

However, having lived for 55 years, what I have keenly realized is “the day when perfect preparation is complete will never come in this lifetime.” That is the truth.

In fact, preparation only becomes complete through the process of thinking while moving and correcting course while stumbling.

This period, as the fourth quarter of life in our 50s begins, is not a time to count the remaining time and lament.

It is an incredibly exciting stage where you can mobilize all the “failure data” you have accumulated so far to design a new way of life that is uniquely your own.

From tomorrow, just one step. That one step is the only path that will make you say to yourself a few years from now, “I’m glad I found the courage back then.”

In this note, I will share the realistic image of myself at 55 as I struggle, learn, and continue to take on challenges. Our challenge is just getting started.