The realization I've finally come to after 20 years of marriage: 'My spouse was chosen by God'

I wrote about the Blessing (Mass Wedding) in another article. In that piece, I covered the process leading up to the marriage. In this article, I would like to look back from that point to the present.

When receiving the Blessing, we are taught that 'the person you are blessed with is chosen by God.' I received the Blessing in 200X, and I understand that the seniors before me were taught the same thing. I don't really know what young people are being told these days.
Since it will be 20 years of marriage in a few months, I decided to look back and see if it was true that 'the person you are blessed with is chosen by God.'

To conclude, the answer is 'I can say yes.' It is a slightly indecisive answer, but please forgive me as it is my own honest feeling.
Below, I will state the grounds for this.

The reason for being indecisive

I will start with the reason for being indecisive, which is simply because I am insensitive.
In the first place, when I applied for the Blessing, I felt like it was a matchmaking arrangement (see the article mentioned above), so I didn't really expect anything mystical.
Also, during my nearly 20 years of married life, no particular event occurred that made me clearly feel, 'My wife was chosen by God.' Perhaps it might have happened, but it is possible that I just didn't notice because I am insensitive. At any rate, I have not yet had an experience where I clearly realized, 'At this moment, I clearly understood that my wife was chosen by God!'

And since I have a personality that wants to avoid making definitive statements without clear evidence, I have decided to conclude with 'I can say yes' rather than 'clearly yes,' being a bit timid.

I still love my wife

Some readers might think, 'What an obvious thing to say...' However, I have a very fickle personality; for example, I have changed jobs three times because I got bored of my workplace. Although I have consistently worked as a systems engineer, I mean that I changed jobs three times because I got bored with the projects I was involved in.
The fact that I can still love my wife after 20 years is actually a miracle to me.

However, it does not mean we have been lovey-dovey the whole time.
When we first met, we didn't know each other, so we could only interact in a fresh but clumsy way.
As we got used to each other, it started with 'this person is a good person,' and romantic feelings gradually sprouted.
When children were born, we became busy, and romantic feelings flew off somewhere.
When the children grew up and we had a little more breathing room, we were able to face each other as a couple again. However, by that time, I started to notice my partner's flaws. But I did not come to dislike her. That part is mysterious.
Now, even while recognizing each other's flaws, I still love her. I mean that while I cannot bring myself to like the flaws themselves, I love her as a person.

In the sense that I, who am naturally fickle, met a wife who I never get bored of, it is a miracle, and I can think that she is someone God gave me.

She helps me in many ways

There are times when I cannot do much around the house due to work or church events, but in those times, my wife does it for me without complaining. Moreover, she does it in such a carefree way that I don't feel sorry (I can hear a voice from somewhere saying, 'You should be grateful'). But I think it is a blessing that I don't have to be overly concerned about her.
Also, in situations where I cannot decide what to do, my wife expresses her thoughts or gives me a push. There have been many times when she has brought out secret savings, though I don't know when she saved them up.
In conclusion, it could be said that God chose my wife as someone who helps me.

I can polish myself

Conversely, it is about me helping my wife.
Regarding what I consider to be my wife's flaws, she is just very loose. For example, leaving knives and cutting boards out after using them, or not putting leftovers in the refrigerator. I have no choice but to do it for her. By the way, I am in charge of cooking and washing dishes on weekends and holidays, and my wife is in charge on weekdays. But as mentioned earlier, there are times when I do the parts my wife left undone.
Since I am taught by the church that 'it is difficult to change others, so you have no choice but to change yourself,' I have decided to do the parts my wife could not do (or did not do).

As for what happened because of that, I have become more meticulous compared to when I was young. At work, I have become able to do my job much more carefully. I used to be sloppy, but now I can work quite accurately.
My wife is still loose, but if I think of it as her personality, then maybe it is her personality, and conversely, if my wife were a meticulous person, I might be getting nagged by now, so I cannot say it is entirely bad.

In conclusion, it can be said that God chose my wife to help me grow. I am quite convinced of this!! Also, seeing the other person's flaws is by no means a bad thing; it is proof that my understanding of her has deepened, and I think it can be said that this is the start of self-improvement.

Your spouse too...

Thank you for reading this far.
'I am non-religious. But I have been with my spouse for many years, and they are still an important presence to me,' some readers might say. Perhaps that spouse of yours was actually chosen by God too!!