The depths of the body are pulling at my consciousness

Subtitle
Is being negative not a weakness of the mind, but a state where the body has translated the world into darkness?

Introduction

From Friday afternoon, I felt something strange in my throat.

It wasn't exactly painful.

But the back of my throat felt rougher than usual.

It was a sensation as if it were slightly dry, or as if something were stuck, or as if some part of my body was sounding a small alarm.

At that point, I still thought it was nothing major.

I had no fever.

It wasn't that I couldn't move my body.

It was just a very slight discomfort in the back of my throat.

On Saturday, I thought about going out.

Since it was a rare day off, I thought my mood might change if I went out a little, so I went to the station front.

However, I just couldn't get into the mood.

I didn't want to buy anything.

I didn't want to go anywhere.

Just being in the crowd started to feel a bit troublesome.

In the end, I went straight home.

At that time, I thought my mood was just down.

I'm just not feeling positive today.

I don't have the energy to go out.

I'm not in the mood to interact with people.

I thought that was my mental state.

However, after I got home, my body started to become noisy little by little.

Phlegm is stuck.

I have a runny nose.

My head feels heavy.

Before long, I even had a headache.

I have no fever.

But clearly, the depths of my body are different from usual.

I spent most of Saturday and Sunday lying down.

Even when I tried to think about something, my thoughts wouldn't go deep.

I didn't feel like reading a book.

I didn't feel like writing anything.

I didn't even think about going outside.

I was just lying down.

On Monday, I managed to go to work.

It wasn't that I couldn't move.

So I worked.

But after I got home, my headache got worse.

It was as if my body was telling me not to head outside anymore.

I took Tuesday and Wednesday off from work.

Then, I suddenly thought.

Did I really become negative?

Or was the inflammation happening deep in my body just pulling my consciousness back inward?

Chapter 1 | The true nature of 'not being in the mood'

We often treat mood as a problem of the mind.

Not in the mood.

No motivation.

Don't want to meet people.

Don't want to go out.

Don't want to think about anything.

When we get into that state, we tend to doubt our own spirit.

Am I tired?

Am I depressed?

Have I become negative?

Has my motivation for life dropped?

But when phlegm, a runny nose, and a headache appear later like this time, the perspective changes a little.

That feeling of going to the station on Saturday and coming back.

Was that just a matter of mood?

Or had my body already sensed an abnormality and lowered its interest in the outside world before my consciousness did?

Discomfort in the throat.

Phlegm.

Runny nose.

Headache.

Lethargy.

Resistance to going out.

The hassle of being in a crowd.

These might not have been separate phenomena, but signs that the body was switching in one direction.

In respiratory infections, symptoms such as sore throat, runny nose, cough, headache, and fatigue can occur, and colds are said to involve runny nose, nasal congestion, cough, sneezing, sore throat, headache, and mild body aches.

Just because there is no fever doesn't mean the body isn't doing anything.

In other words, at the point when I thought 'I'm not in the mood' on Saturday, there is a possibility that a defense reaction had already begun in my body.

My consciousness cannot put that into words yet.

So, it translates it like this.

I'm not in the mood today.

I don't want to go out.

I don't want to do anything.

It's a hassle to interact with people.

But in reality, my body might have been saying this.

Don't go outside now.

Fix the inside.

Don't take in unnecessary stimulation.

Rest.

Chapter 2 | The body knows before the consciousness

Consciousness thinks it is the first to judge.

Whether to go out.

Whether I can work.

Whether I want to meet people.

Whether I can write.

However, the body knows many things before the consciousness does.

There is discomfort in the throat mucosa.

Secretions are increasing in the back of the nose.

The immune system is reacting.

Muscles are heavy.

My head hurts.

It is demanding sleep.

The body sends these to the consciousness not as words, but as sensations.

I don't like it somehow.

Today is different.

I don't want to move.

I don't want to go out.

I can't organize my thoughts.

The world is heavy.

I think this 'somehow' is actually quite important.

Somehow not in the mood.

Somehow don't want to meet people.

Somehow don't feel like going out.

Behind such vague sensations, there are sometimes concrete changes in the body.

During inflammation or infection, immune system signals can affect the brain, producing reactions known as 'sickness behavior,' such as fatigue, sleepiness, loss of appetite, lethargy, and irritability. This is understood as a reaction for the body to suppress activity and divert resources to recovery and defense.

So, it's not that my mood dropped.

My body changed the direction of my consciousness.

It pulled the consciousness that was directed outward back inward.

It returned the interest that was directed toward human relationships back to the repair of the body.

It narrowed the thoughts that were directed toward the future down to just getting through the day.

As a result, the consciousness feels this way.

I don't want to do anything.

I'm not in the mood.

The world is heavy.

But that is not because the heart has become weak.

The body has changed its priorities.

Chapter 3 | Before becoming negative, the body is burning

It is thought that becoming negative means the heart is becoming dark.

However, looking at the flow like this time, it feels a little different.

Discomfort in the throat on Friday.

No desire to go out on Saturday.

Phlegm and runny nose increase.

Headache occurs.

Lying down on Saturday and Sunday.

Managing to go to work on Monday.

Headache worsens after returning home.

Resting on Tuesday and Wednesday.

Looking at this flow later, the body was fighting from the inside from the beginning.

However, the consciousness could not understand that immediately.

So at first, I read it as a mental problem.

I'm not in the mood today.

Maybe I've been a bit down lately.

I don't have the energy to go out.

But in reality, inflammation might have been occurring deep in the body, and that inflammation might have been lowering the brightness of my consciousness.

At this time, the world didn't become dark.

The body was generating a dark world.

It wasn't that human relationships became a hassle.

The body stopped the energy used for human relationships.

It wasn't that I couldn't see the future.

The body diverted the surplus energy for thinking about the future to repair.

In other words, before becoming negative, the body is burning.

Inflammation is a reaction where the body finds an abnormality and concentrates on defense and repair. Inflammation occurs not only from infection but also from physical damage or toxins.

Therefore, when negative thoughts emerge, you must not immediately make them a problem of your outlook on life.

There are things you should ask before that.

Are you sleeping?

Are you eating?

Does your throat hurt?

Do you have a runny nose?

Do you have a headache?

Is your stomach upset?

Are your muscles damaged?

Is your body inflamed?

If you skip this question and immediately decide 'I am depressed,' you will process the body's voice as a failure of the mind.

Chapter 4 | Something even deeper than the unconscious is pulling at the consciousness

In psychology, it is said that there is an unconscious below the consciousness.

Certainly, past memories, fears, desires, habits, and ways of being hurt move the consciousness.

However, considering physical ailments like this time, there is something even further below that.

Throat.

Nose.

Phlegm.

Headache.

Body temperature.

Blood flow.

Autonomic nervous system.

Immunity.

Inflammation.

Sleep.

These are older than psychology.

Older than words.

Older than meaning.

Before humans worried, the body was protecting itself.

Before humans philosophized, the body was closing wounds.

Before humans thought about the future, the body was processing infected cells.

So, it is not just that there is an unconscious below the consciousness.

Even deeper inside the unconscious, there is a maintenance device as a living organism.

And when that maintenance device is disturbed, the color of the consciousness changes.

The world becomes dark.

People become distant.

The future becomes heavy.

I look weak.

But in reality, the consciousness didn't become dark on its own.

The depths of the body are pulling at the consciousness.

Chapter 5 | Do not immediately turn dark conclusions into truth

When I took Tuesday and Wednesday off from work, my consciousness probably started making various interpretations.

Am I weak?

Am I tired?

Is it impossible now?

Do I just not want to go to work?

Is life heavy?

Is the world tough?

However, the conclusion that came out at that time is a conclusion that includes the physical state.

The future thought about while having a headache.

Human relationships thought about while having a runny nose and phlegm.

Life thought about while having discomfort in the throat.

Self-evaluation thought about while having no choice but to lie down.

They are not complete lies.

However, you must not turn them into truth as they are.

That is a tentative interpretation produced by a consciousness that includes inflammation.

When dark thoughts emerge, you don't have to deny them.

Just wait a little.

Wait until the body returns.

Wait until the inflammation goes down.

Wait until you can sleep.

Wait until the nose and throat settle down.

Wait until the headache subsides.

Then look at the same question again.

If it's still the same conclusion then, it's worth thinking about.

But if it's a conclusion that only comes out when the body is bad, it might not be an answer to life, but an alarm from the body.

I didn't become negative.

The body had closed its openness to the world.

The discomfort in the throat, the phlegm, the runny nose, the headache, the Saturday and Sunday I spent lying down, and the Tuesday and Wednesday I took off from work were all not separate events.

They were records of the body pulling my consciousness in one direction.

Don't go outside.

Don't interact with people.

Don't think too much.

Fix the inside now.

That's what it was saying.

The consciousness translated that as 'not in the mood' at first.

But in reality, the depths of the body knew first.

It's not that the world is heavy.

The body was generating a heavy world.

Therefore, the more dark conclusions you reach, the more you can doubt them a little.

Is that really a philosophy?

Or is it a translation of the body?

The consciousness thinks it is seeing the world by itself.

But sometimes, the body's maintenance device, which is even deeper than the unconscious, is changing the direction of the consciousness itself.

At that time, people think the world has become dark.

But in reality, the body might just be temporarily dimming the light.

Aside

Perhaps this is a survival instinct

I suddenly thought of that

Don't go on an adventure now

Don't go hunting

Hide yourself in a safe place and stay quiet.

It felt as if that were a message from my body.

However, we know that people can overcome that through the power of their will.

The strength of desperation in a crisis would be an example of that.

A creature that tries to hide in a safe place does not always manage to reach one.

There are also times when one must fight to survive even when feeling unwell.

If that is an instinct for survival, like a cornered rat biting a cat,

perhaps modern people are continuously using in their daily lives a 'focus for survival' that should normally only be activated in emergencies.

If so, being able to keep moving even when exhausted is not proof of health, but rather a sign that crisis response has become the norm.

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