The Gap Between Consciousness and Image is the Cause of Failed Conversations
Hello!
I'm Kirin, and my reason for living is a glass of Micho after work!
Everyone, human relationships are unavoidable in life, but are there any of you who struggle with conversation?
Actually, I'm quite bad at it myself, and I find it particularly difficult to convey things.
Many of you probably focus on choosing "words" that are easy to understand in conversation, right? Of course, word choice is important, but what is actually important in conversation is whether you can share an "image" with the other person.
If this image cannot be shared, even if the words are appropriate, the conversation will not work.
I talked about consciousness and the unconscious in my previous article, and since there is an interesting case regarding this conscious part, I would like to talk about it this time.
As a recap, people can only be conscious of one thing at a time.
There is an interesting story about a misunderstanding in a conversation that occurred because of this one thing they were conscious of, and I would like to share it with you all!
Please also read the article I wrote about consciousness and the unconscious!
A Bizarre Misunderstanding in a Conversation at a Class Reunion
A certain man... well, it's a story about my senior, he went to a class reunion when he was 33. He was chatting with a former classmate saying "Long time no see!", but when it comes to class reunions, what you're curious about is how the girl who was the Madonna of the class or grade is doing now.
Then, information came in about one woman: "She has three children, is now a single mother, and is living strongly while working."
My senior thought, "She's living strongly! That's amazing!"
After that, the single mother also participated in the reunion, so my senior went to talk to her. "Long time no see! How are you doing? I heard you're living strongly!?" He said this, but the woman's reply was, "Huh? Do I look fat after all...?"
Two points to note
Well, something strange is happening, isn't it? The conversation isn't working at all, is it?
My senior says there were two factors in this story.
Do you all understand these two reasons?
Reason 1: My senior's "lack of words"
The first reason is "lack of words." In this conversation, my senior had no ill intentions at all and was actually speaking with the momentum of praise, but the woman interpreted it with completely different words.
It's what you call "not enough information." If he had said, "I heard you have three children, and while being a single mother, you're working and living strongly, right?" I think the woman's reply would have changed to a completely different response to this topic, don't you?
Reason 2: What the woman was 'conscious of' interrupted the conversation
Another reason lies with the woman herself; in fact, she was extremely self-conscious about the fact that she had become a bit fuller in figure compared to the past.
The woman was conscious of the fact that she was 'embarrassed about being pointed out for being overweight'.
At that moment, her senior colleague said to her, 'I hear you're living life quite robustly, aren't you?'
While the word 'fat' was not used, the woman interpreted the word 'robust' as 'fat' in her mind.
Conversational gaps arise from 'images,' not 'words'
Now, what I want to convey from this example is this:
People communicate not through 'words,' but through 'images'.
In this case, the woman's consciousness was focused on 'I've gained weight and it's embarrassing'.
And then there is the word 'robust' that the senior colleague uttered.
Because the woman's consciousness was focused on being 'fat,' she either didn't hear the word 'robust' or she interpreted 'robust' as 'fat'.
Perhaps from an outsider's perspective, it wasn't something to worry about, but for the woman, she was so 'conscious' of it that it mattered that much to her.
The more abstract the word, the more important the 'image' is
This is just my own thought, but you know how there are abstract words, right?
For example, let's say you use the word 'gently' when referring to how much force to use. How much force can you imagine at this moment?
Like gripping a car steering wheel
Like holding a rice ball
Like patting a grandmother's shoulder
Like slicing a loaf of bread
I've listed a few examples, but were you able to imagine them? I'm sure there are many others, and the expressions would likely change depending on one's profession.
Since I am speaking one-way here, I cannot confirm how much you understand, but if we were able to share even a little bit of the image, I think that is okay.
This is what is known as an analogy.
If your analogies are easy to understand, you are more likely to be perceived as someone who is easy to talk to, so please, everyone, give it a try!
Summary
To quickly and simply summarize what I wanted to convey this time:
Words are blocked by the other person's 'consciousness'
Conversations are established through 'imagery,' not 'words'
The more abstract the words, the more important 'sharing imagery' becomes
When you can 'share imagery,' conversations become fun
That is what it comes down to.
If you feel you are not good at conversation, there is a high possibility that you are not sharing abstract words with the other person, so please try incorporating analogies that allow for 'sharing imagery'!
Lastly!
If you found this article helpful or could relate to it, please be sure to like, follow, and comment.
I will continue to share information on mentalities and mindsets to enrich your life, so please look forward to the next one!
See you again!