A little bit of vulnerability is a weapon for building relationships. Self-disclosure techniques to get through spring's "nice to meet you" moments.

Your sales consultant, Gorigori no Ochibi-san here.

The world is right in the middle of a three-day weekend.

However, some freelancers and creators might be thinking, "I don't care about calendar holidays," and have their PCs open.
I hope you can stop working for just a few minutes this morning and take some time to read through these words.

Well, once next week is over, it will finally be April.

Whether it's school admissions or job transfers, for freelancers and creators, spring is a season where opportunities to say "nice to meet you" increase significantly.
Kick-offs with new clients, project teams you're joining for the first time, or participating in new communities.

Building new human relationships from scratch consumes more energy than you might imagine.
Probing the other person's intentions, choosing your words carefully to avoid being rude, and putting on a professional facade.
By the time you get home, you're hit with a wave of exhaustion and don't want to do anything... everyone has experienced that, right?

Today, for those of you who tend to get tired from "building new relationships,"
I'd like to share a small tip for getting into someone's good graces from the sales floor, where every day is a series of first meetings.

■ Flawless behavior tires everyone out

Whether at work or in your private life, it's natural for anyone to feel a bit of pressure when meeting someone for the first time, thinking, "I have to show them I'm a reliable professional" or "I want them to think I'm a solid person."
For freelancers and creators who compete based on individual skills, that pressure must be even stronger.

However, having experienced countless "nice to meet you" moments as a salesperson, I've come to realize the fact that this "flawless behavior" actually pushes the other person away.

Perfect greetings, smooth responses.
They are certainly correct, but the more you act like 120% of yourself, the more the other person will brace themselves, thinking, "I can't say anything careless to this person."

In this situation, whether it's a work meeting or a new spring community, you'll both just end up exhausted from probing each other, right?

■ The magic of "self-disclosure" to instantly melt away wariness

Isn't there someone around you who can easily get along with anyone and, before you know it, is at the center of a community or team?
If you wonder if they are particularly good at talking, it's surprisingly often not the case, is it?

Actually, what they are doing unconsciously,
and what we in sales, who face customers for the first time every day, use strategically, is the technique of "self-disclosure", where you show a little bit of your own weaknesses or human side first.

As mentioned in the book "Weaponizing Your Speech" by communication expert Tadashi Yasuda, actually showing "your own small weaknesses or failures" first is not just a gap, but a powerful "weapon" to dissolve the other person's wariness.
This is because people feel much more at ease with someone who has a few flaws than with someone who is perfect.

▼ Reference article: DIAMOND online

For example, try adding a comment like this at the beginning of a first meeting.

"Actually, I still get a little nervous no matter how many times I do these initial kick-offs."
"I'm good at design work, but I'm really bad at administrative tasks... (laughs)" "People say I look like I can hold my liquor, but I can't drink at all... but I love izakaya pubs!"

Of course, it's a no-go to show "lack of confidence" in the core parts of your work, but let's intentionally offer up "a little gap" in other human aspects yourself.

■ The person who opens up first holds the initiative

Humans have a psychological tendency to open up themselves when they feel the other person has opened up to them.

By smiling and saying, "Actually, I'm a bit nervous," you allow the other person to relax and say, "Actually, me too."

This instantly shifts the atmosphere from the rigid "client and contractor" relationship in business, or the awkwardness of a "nice to meet you" in private life, into a flat, human-to-human connection.

The initiative to dissolve the other person's wariness and draw out their true feelings is always held by the one who opens up first.

New encounters starting in April.

There is no need to exhaust yourself by playing the perfect professional at work or trying to look like a "proper adult" in your private life by forcing yourself to appear bigger than you are.
By mixing just a little bit of "self-disclosure" into your initial greetings, building relationships becomes surprisingly easy in any situation.

Actually, this nature of "when someone opens up to you first, you want to return the favor" is known in psychology as
the "Law of Reciprocity,"and it is one of the laws we in sales rely on most in the field, but...it looks like it might get a bit long, so shall we save that story for next time?

Thank you for your hard work this week, and have a great holiday weekend.

Gorigori no Ochibi-san

[P.S.]
This time, I talked about "self-disclosure" for creating new relationships.

If you thought, "I'll try this out next week," even a little bit, I would be happy if you supported me with a "Like" and a "Follow" instead of a tip.

Also, if you are interested in me, I would be happy if you took a look at my first article. To you, who are fighting in a world that isn't as simple as "if you make good things, they will sell."

▼ The story of a man who found the cheat code for sales