I want you to keep learning Japanese, even if it's just a little bit at a time

A year ago, I had my six-year-old son attending a Japanese language school.

The conflict between me, wishing for my child to be able to speak Japanese, and my son, who insisted he didn't want to go to Japanese school.

The struggle between parent and child continued.

※This is a sequel to the following article.

Is there really any benefit to forcing my reluctant son to attend Japanese school?

A neighbor who is a second-generation Korean immigrant regrets giving up on her children's Korean education halfway through, and insists,

"
No matter how much your child dislikes it, it is important to make them go to school. If you don't hold your ground, that's the end of it.."A Japanese friend of mine, who says her children also dislike Japanese school, though not as much as in our home, says,
"


Until the children reach a certain age, the parent has to work hard to pull them along, or it will end up half-finished.."My child's Japanese education depends on me, his Japanese parent.If I give up, the level my child reaches will be determined right there.

To be honest,whenever I thought about my children's Japanese education, I always felt somewhat cornered..

We managed to finish the first semester, and summer vacation arrived, so we went to Japan as a family. This was my son's third time in Japan, but he was two and a half during his last visit and had almost no memory of it. This was practically his first time.

During our six-week stay in Japan, my son's Japanese ability improved visibly.Six weeks is a long time for a child. Since English isn't understood by his grandparents or younger cousins, I could see him making an effort to speak Japanese, mobilizing all the vocabulary he had.

On the other hand, it seemed exhausting to always speak only Japanese,so he still often spoke to me in English.His conversations with his sister were also in English until the end. However, even though he had been speaking almost entirely in English in his daily life, towards the end of our stay in Japan, he began to use Japanese for his first words more often. I was so happy about that, and every time it happened, I couldn't help but soften my expression and rejoice.

If I were to be greedy, I would have liked to have him experience attending a Japanese elementary school.As a parent, I hoped he would spend plenty of time with Japanese children and perhaps make some friends. But since my son was already traumatized by Japanese school, he adamantly refused. Given the circumstances, I didn't push him.

A few days after we returned, having fully enjoyed Japan and improved his Japanese, I discussed with my husband and sonwhether he would continue attending Japanese school.His motivation for Japanese should have been at an all-time high. However, my son's answer was a "no," without a moment's hesitation.

Thus,I decided to withdraw him from Japanese school after only one semester..

In making this decision,I absolutely needed to sort out within myself why I wanted my child to learn Japanese..

Why? This is a theme I have repeatedly asked myself many times before.

Our family intends to continue living in America, and there are no plans to move to Japan for the time being. Even if he doesn't know Japanese, he won't have any trouble in social life. However,I want my children to continue speaking with me in Japanese forever.

I have spoken mostly in English with my husband since we met, and it's not that we can't communicate in English.I want to share the Japanese language and the consciousness that shapes the culture and people that form its foundation.I really want to avoid having language or culture become even the slightest barrier when nurturing the bond between parent and child.

There are other reasons I could list, such as relationships with family in Japan and the child's future possibilities, butwhen I get down to the very core, I concluded that Japanese is absolutely necessary for me and my children to deepen our relationship as parent and child..

It was a bit like an obsession. I was a little concerned myself that my motivation was driven by impatience and anxiety. I would change my mind about this later, but in any case, I truly believed it at the time.

I want my children to continue learning Japanese for a long time to come. But just because of that, does it mean they need to rush through a curriculum in a weekly class at a Japanese language school, following the guidelines set by the Ministry of Education, Culture, Sports, Science and Technology? Not necessarily.

If I kept pushing any harder, it could have backfired by planting negative feelings toward Japan and the Japanese language. I had no objection to continuing Japanese studies outside of a Japanese language school, so I thought, why not just continue learning in a way that my son can accept?

Some people might think, "Isn't that decision too hasty?" But I believe this was the right choice for our family. My son now learns Japanese in a 90-minute online class once a week. It's a modest way of learning compared to a Japanese language school, but he seems to enjoy it, as there is time to learn songs and do crafts.

This incident became an experience that made me think deeply about how to educate my child. I still don't know what the right answer is, but I have no choice but to move forward, making the path I believe in the right one.

Thank you for reading this far.
I would like to introduce some articles I have written in the past about bilingual parenting overseas.

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