"Elementary School PTA" and "Local Foster Parent Association".

#20250619-549

June 19, 2025 (Thursday)

1. The trigger was an article about "elementary school PTA activities".

The other day, after writing an article about elementary school PTA activities, I felt a sense of unease.

My local foster parent association frequently holds training sessions and networking events.
It has been 6 years since we officially took in our foster child. They are now in the 6th grade of elementary school.
Even now, 6 years later, my spouse and I participate in these as much as possible if our schedules allow, and we have a desire to help out whenever we can.

However, it is different when it comes to the elementary school PTA.

At the time of enrollment—since it was when the COVID-19 pandemic was just beginning, PTA activities were suspended, but the basic rule was "one role per household."
I didn't know specifically what each role entailed, but I did what was required of the role I took on. However, somewhere in my heart, I had an attitude of "I don't want to do anything too troublesome."

Even though they are the same in terms of being an organization of parents connected through their children, the "local foster parent association" and the "elementary school PTA" are different to me.
I would like to think about why that is.

2. The local foster parent association is a group of people I already know.

After registering as foster parents, my spouse and I participated in local foster parent networking events even before we were matched with a child. Therefore, by the time our foster child was placed with us, we already knew the faces of most of the foster parents.
Also, young foster children who do not attend kindergarten or nursery school participate in these foster parent networking gatherings as well. When that happens, you get to know both the foster parents and the children by face and name.

If you have the opportunity to interact with other foster families before a placement, it is more comfortable than meeting other foster families for the first time after receiving a foster child.
Right after a placement, while dealing with many unfamiliar things, it is physically and mentally exhausting to enter a new circle of people. If you are already acquainted, the foster parents can relax. The peace of mind of the foster parents also leads to the peace of mind of the foster child.

However, participating in networking events with foster parents who currently have children placed with them before you have been matched is not something I would recommend to every prospective foster parent.
Sometimes years pass without a foster child being introduced.
Sometimes foster parents who registered after you get a foster child placed with them first.
In such cases, if you are a prospective foster parent who doesn't get too emotionally shaken, I think building relationships beforehand gives you more mental breathing room.

3. The elementary school PTA is full of people I don't know.

I moved to this area and into the house I live in now when I got married.
My husband had lived in this house since he was single, but he is from a different place. It was a house he started living in alone after getting a job, and at the time, he only came home to sleep. There was practically no neighborhood interaction.
When I got married, I only greeted the few adjacent neighbors.
If I happen to meet a neighbor when they are coming out of their house, I nod, but I don't really remember their faces properly. I'm not even sure if I would recognize them if I met them somewhere else.

Since our home has no biological children, we had no neighborhood interaction through children until we took in a foster child.
Since our foster child also came to our home when they were in their final year of kindergarten, we didn't have the opportunity to expand our connections through the child, such as through "park debuts" or kindergarten. And then, the COVID-19 pandemic began, elementary school enrollment was delayed until June, and PTA activities were suspended.

4. Is it about whether or not you know the people involved?

Within me, there is a clear difference in temperature in how I engage with the "elementary school PTA" versus the "local foster parent association."
Comparing them like this, I realized that more than the activities themselves, the biggest factor is "whether or not I know" the people involved.

If I had interactions with people in this district, or if I had known more people from kindergarten, I would have known many faces by the time I entered elementary school.
There are also elderly people from the district who volunteer at the elementary school. It's not just parents of children currently attending. There are also people in the position of having children who have already graduated or having grandchildren who attend.
Also, if it hadn't been for the situation where "the 3 Cs (San-mitsu)*" were avoided due to the influence of the COVID-19 pandemic and small talk was discouraged, things might have been different.

Is that the only reason for the difference in temperature?
If I had lived a life more rooted in the community, would my PTA activities have been different?

5. It might not just be about whether or not you have "acquaintances."

　Foster parents undergo several training sessions and practical exercises when they register.
　There are also training sessions and events that can be attended after registration, and there are many opportunities to learn about child-rearing and social care.
　In other words, a "premise of shared knowledge" regarding these matters is established among foster parents.
　Also, while there are places for interaction and sharing experiences, there is a "duty of confidentiality" there. Even when chatting, there is no worry that it will leak to others or become gossip.　
　There is a sense of security that even if you confide serious parenting worries, "the story stops there." Of course, there are cases where you receive advice there and are connected to relevant institutions or other experienced foster parents, but it does not spread on its own.

　It might be that not only knowing the people involved in the activities, but also a "sense of security" is a key point.

6. Are "knowing well" and "a sense of security" what make an organization one you want to cooperate with?

　To what extent is there commonality of values?
　If it is a foster parent association, it can be supplemented by training, but it is difficult in a local community.
　Talking about commonality of values might be an exaggeration, but in a local community, it would be "common sense" or "manners."
　However, having been raised by my mother since I was a child being told "my common sense is someone else's lack of common sense," I know the difficulty of sharing "common sense."

　Also, it is not a chicken-and-egg situation, but do you join an organization because there are people you know well, or do you get to know the people there after joining the organization?
　That is also difficult.
　Since there are situations at any given time, you cannot just get involved in an organization after getting everything ready.
　In the end, there is no answer, and it has become a rambling story, but whether it is before or after, is the point to "know the people there well"? However, in today's busy society, I think as I look back on my days that it is also difficult to create opportunities to "know well."
　Even so.
　If you become aware of these two things that make you want to cooperate, your way of getting involved might also change.