A story about how things start from trivial matters.

Hello.
Thank you for always reading my articles.

As I wrote in the article I posted recently, I have been thinking—without really finding an answer—about whether one should always remain the protagonist of their own life, or if it is possible to live a fulfilling life even if you are not, and I have been publishing these thoughts on note.I have been thinking about this without really finding an answer, and publishing it on note.

I believe babies act as the protagonist of their own lives to survive. However, as they acquire social skills, they start to consider others, show concern, and work in teams to achieve results.

I think there are actually quite a lot of people who, after changing their environment, roles, and behavior to become adults, have let go of the reins of their own lives. However, this is not the time to observe it as if it were someone else's problem; I might be the same way myself.

Why? Because I have written about it in my articles so many times. (Haha)

👇 It is an article like this.

With the increase in working from home due to the Chinese COVID-19, some people felt better, while others felt worse. (COVID is already history. It happened five years ago, in 2020. It is a fossil. )

I had a firm self-awareness that I was an introverted person, so I spread my wings during the lockdown. My life right in front of me is more important than a virus that came from overseas.

In fact, during that period, I succeeded in changing jobs and started a new hobby that continues to this day. It was chaotic, using the instability as a catalyst.

However, even then, the suffering did not disappear, and I ended up quitting my new job at Recruit in less than a year, saying, "I'm quitting tomorrow."

It was the spring of 2021────. I will never forget it.

In other words, as a result, one could say that the great COVID disaster was a turning point for the better for me, or perhaps it could be said that it was a great disaster.

I am not satisfied with the present, so I still cannot look back on that time positively, but for example, even if I could undo the impulsive actions of the past and stayed at Recruit for "three years on a cold stone," I think I would have remained miserable anyway.

Including the future, life is a series of blessings in disguise.

I have always hesitated to look back on that time, but recently I have started to feel that it is somehow okay, so I will try to write as much as I can.

I will declare in advance that I do not expect this article to be completed today, and although I am publishing it, I intend to finish it little by little. I have also given up on the goal of making this experience useful; first, I just want to put it into shape for myself.

As long as the note server doesn't disappear, a record of sorts will remain here.

1. The arrow points outward to protect the internal environment

I don't think it is very healthy to stay in only one organization, being together all the time. When things are going well, you become blind. If things are not going well, you will be wiped out.

If one thing doesn't work out, it can be replaced. By spending time elsewhere, you can reset your failures and disappointments, and refresh yourself. You can avoid risks.

Giving your all to just one thing is not something everyone can do.

Physical strength and concentration are important.

I think people who achieve results usually work harder than the average person. So, there is a valid argument that says, 'First, work harder than that person before stating your jealousy or dissatisfaction,' but I also feel that the physical strength and concentration to be able to work hard is the greatest talent of all.

I think I am a 'give it my all' type of person. Once I start something, I often cannot stop until I finish it, no matter what time of day it is. Or rather, it's natural for me to spend more time and effort than others. It's painful to be the last one left, but I can be the one who finishes first and stays until the very end. (Does the beginning and the end connect? ...Haha)

2. Do not destroy things yourself in order to protect them

When I look back on my work history, I have always found my next path from the biggest connection I had up to that point. This has been consistent throughout.

I feel that if I stay in one place, the option to 'destroy' it becomes stronger. While I was able to achieve something, I overcome what I couldn't do in a new place. It feels like I am climbing this spiral staircase.

Even if you take it as getting tired of entanglements, it seems like it would work out, but because these are connections I want to cherish, it's not that I don't remember them or want to forget them. I think moving far away is like a way of repaying the favor.

When I think, 'Can't this be solved?', I have already switched to the mindset that 'it is impossible for it not to be possible,' so the image is that it won't end until it's done. I have never had a major failure in this 'assessment of expectations,' and I have achieved my goals in entrance exams, corporate teams, work, and job changes, and the process leading up to them was also fulfilling. Perhaps that is a talent.

3. The pros and cons of family structure

There were four siblings, so there was almost no time for rest. I never felt lonely.
I had an older sister with a large age gap. There was little I could do for her, as there was an 8-year difference.
A sense of crisis was fostered that I would become useless if I stayed in the community too much.
My memories of Starbucks date back to this time.

In business, solving (preventing, dealing with) problems is often in higher demand, but I think the tendency to lean towards the thinking of 'if I could do this, such good things would happen' is a remnant of this time.

4. What rowing gave me

・Being able to leave results even if I start from zero
・Meeting a lifelong community that is like family
・Being celebrated at the boathouse on my birthday (they celebrated it because I kept saying it)

・I was able to work hard because the 'survival of the women's team' was at stake. I strongly felt that if I didn't leave results, we wouldn't be able to continue our activities
・I thought about my career path as a new graduate because I couldn't fully meet expectations
・I couldn't go on the school trip for my grade no matter what (I remember refraining from going by saying I would practice on my own)

・Life as a rowing athlete as a working adult
・Meeting people I admired normally, and practicing or rowing alongside them (daily life)
・I was given tens of millions of yen per year in welfare expenses for domestic and international expeditions (education)
・There was a period where I felt I could do anything, and a period where I could see everything (invincible)

5. There is no sense of accomplishment that exceeds physical limits

A senior from my university days said this. I think that is true.

The maximum BPM is [220 - age], so it decreases day by day. (But it might be about singing a song, or playing the guitar. In that case, it's not a matter of BPM.)

Every conclusion.
Since I've passed my physical peak, there will be no more physical thrills like this.
No matter what stage I stand on.
Living by inertia.
But, if it's about delivering inspiration, I can still do that as many times as I want.

・Wake up at 4 AM or practice at night.
If I practice at night after finishing overtime, by the time I head out, everyone else has already finished (including former teammates), and I end up rowing alone in the dark, which is so disheartening that I switched to morning practice. Many students start rowing around 5 AM, so I was able to maintain my motivation. Even though I'm sleepy. I thought exercising from 4 AM was impossible, but once I kept at it, it became possible.

・The juniors who spent the last day of my 20s with me at an all-night karaoke session. I just remembered it. Thank you.

・I participated in an overseas head race. I borrowed a single scull and a boathouse from Cambridge University. We collaborated. It was a view I had never seen before. All the dreams I wanted to fulfill came true.
When I only worked, I felt like something was missing from me.

・The time when I could go to the office during the COVID-19 pandemic when no one was there resembled the empty dormitory I had to stay in during my student days to participate in selection trials, and it saved me a little. (I blended in.)

・Recruit era
・I had a complex about my annual income (I thought I would reach 10 million yen).
・Creating a business at work felt like winning a medal, but it wasn't that rewarding.
・Starting with leaders from the same Mitsubishi conglomerate, everyone preferred chatting about employment types and systems rather than work.
・At the time, we were trailing our competitors by a double score, but the atmosphere was friendly, which I didn't understand.
・I would absorb something via e-learning before work, work, and then run from Kanda to Nihonbashi and Ginza Street at night. There were no nights I couldn't sleep.
・On weekends, I went to the gym twice a day to exercise, and did things like dancing at night. I had excess physical strength.
・I couldn't get LASIK, so I had intraocular lens surgery, straightened my teeth, and got my ears pierced.

・Becoming a sole proprietor
I went to Hachijojima for workation, and went to Hokkaido.

・Dance
Choosing stage costumes and everything else was fun. (I used to design my own rowing uniforms in the past, but here I just bought them.) There were some performances I couldn't participate in, which I regret a little.

・Now, I am writing on note.
・I think the level of people who keep writing is high.
・I have wondered what people with high IQs are thinking. When I want to understand other people's feelings, I sometimes start something new.
・I can easily peek at posts by celebrities, but I can tell they aren't paying attention to me. If I asked, 'What was the most delicious thing you had on your trip?' or 'What kind of wine worth tens of thousands of yen do you enjoy?', I feel like I would just be turned away at the door.
・Because I have a strong sense of belonging, it seemed like a distant world.

・I did it for two years, but the highlights were when I was aiming for 2,000 followers and when I continued posting every day for a month for the first time. Also, when I had something I really wanted to record and wrote the article while forgetting for a moment what others would think.
・If I can earn money, it's better to earn it (the complex about annual income hasn't disappeared). The peak of the grit to earn money lasts at least longer than an athlete's life.

(2025.9.12) That's all for now. Although it's not going smoothly, I hope to update it little by little. I am also working on a sitemap. Well then...

6. I want to send this to those who are feeling uneasy

I'm afraid that 'always being happy' doesn't exist. Whether it's flat or has waves, it's something that gets evaluated. Life is just a series of ups and downs. Isn't it?

Sometimes you witness a moment that looks fun and it shines, and other times you are filled with nothing but denial and questions like, 'What's the point of this?'

Rowing and dance practice, as well as meetings and discussions, go off track, don't always lead to achievements, and the thrill is in the ups and downs.

The products sold are perfect, scratch-free, and I wish to choose good ones, of course.

Somehow, I think I've just grown tired of choosing.

The morning coffee I usually brew is delicious no matter which beans I use, and it creates a time where I can regain control from my daily life, and it's fine whether I have the A set or the B set for lunch.

Even though I should be able to make what I choose the right answer without rushing, it doesn't work, does it.

(Updated 2025.09.13)

7. If I can get closer, I win.

8. Current challenge: "Incorporating words into the body"

9. I realized this by repeating small encounters. What I want to achieve on note. What I want to achieve in life.

10. ?