(4) The little sister who cried a lot, the birth of another Chibi-Yuru
Hello everyone, I'm Yururun😊
Chibi-Yuru's narrative...
For the first time since I was born, I am putting it into words.
The mostdarkworld
regarding my little sister
I am finally entering it.
The "We who are bad at relying on others" series
This is a story about healing the Chibi-Yuru I discovered within myself.
This healing process is currently ongoing...
I have written about everything up to this point in (1) through (3).
◆The little sister born two years younger
"Oh my, there was a baby here too!😊"
When my little sister was born, I was the one who had snuck into my mother's hospital bed.
I vaguely remember being told that by a nurse.
Is that true?
I should have been two years old.
I can sort of picture the scene, but...🤔
◆Fragmented memories
What I remember from my early childhood is that my little sister cried a lot.
I remember my mother soothing my crying sister.
My sister was often sick.
She would go to the hospital with my mother, and I would stay home.
◆There was something within my mother that had nowhere to go
Our home at the time was a large household, living with my grandparents, my father's younger brother, his younger sister, and several live-in employees from the family business.
My mother did not help with the family business, so she managed everything on her own, including three meals a day for everyone, taking care of them, and raising two young children.
She handled it all by herself.
It must have been very difficult for her.
▼ An article where I wrote a little about that time
She must have been under a lot of stress, too.
Was she taking that frustration out on me, who was still wetting the bed?
◆ The equation I formed within myself
Crying = Being needy = A bad thing
Because this child (my sister) is crying so much, I get scolded.
I will become a child who doesn't cry or act needy like that
Regarding crying,
there is one more episode.
When I was crying at nursery school because I wanted to go home (probably),
a boy sitting next to me
asked, 'What's wrong?' and peered at me.
At that time, the teacher
thought that boy had made me cry and
scolded the boy.
Because of that, he started crying too.
I'm sorry. It was because I was crying that
you got scolded.
I think that was at the root of it all.
◆ The birth of another Chibiyuru
“I have to manage on my own”
I hadn't realized I felt this way
myself.
I didn't intend to be pushing myself.
I didn't intend to be stubborn.
I didn't intend to be holding back.
Since I was raised surrounded by many adults,
I had always thought, “I am loved.
”
But there was this feeling of, “I have to be responsible.”
I placed value on doing things properly.
And so, before I knew it,
the reliable Chibiyuruwas born
And I thought that was me
without knowing that the spoiled Chibiyuruhad been sealed away
🍀Thank you so much for reading until the end🍀
The story about my younger sister will continue...
While reading everyone's articles on note and interacting with you all,
I would like to write
while carefully re-examining myself.
The flow of the story might jump around or go back and forth.
Updates are irregular.