Heartbreak Karuta Episode 1 | I could have fixed it if you had told me, it was only that much
In the previous article, I deciphered the end of their relationship by focusing on the changes in the "flowers" that decorated their dining table.
This time, I want to be more relaxed than analytical.
I would like to write whatever I feel, focusing on the Karuta verses scattered throughout the drama as lines of dialogue.
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The line that left the biggest impression on me after finishing episode 1.
“I could have fixed it if you had told me, it was only that much”
Right after he (Nozaki) broke up with her and left.
Chinami's quiet voice overlaps with the shot of her casting her gaze downward.
I think it is a "verse of heartbreak" recited in her own heart, rather than words of dialogue directed at him.I believe so.
It was on the tip of her tongue, but Chinami didn't say it. A verse that seems to contain regret.
If she had said it out loud, would their future have changed?
I don't think it would have changed.
The reason Nozaki dumped Chinami is
“Guess it,” I’m not a psychic, you know
That is why.
I felt that everything that could not be returned was packed into this line, his expression, and his gaze.
I understand both of their feelings.
In particular, women want to be understood without saying it.
They want their partners to notice the consideration behind the words they don't say.I suspect many women use whether or not there is such intuitive behavior as a yardstick, consciously or unconsciously.
Chinami is one of them.
On the other hand, I think many men honestly face the difficulty of trying to guess what a partner is thinking. Like Nozaki, there are probably people who are troubled by how to guess correctly precisely because they want to be close to their partner.
But when I looked at this breakup scene objectively from afar, to me,
the importance of communicating clearlyemerged.
I, too, have had expectations of "wanting to be understood" not only in romance but in various human relationships.
Even now, although I am not conscious of it, I think there are times when I act in a way that expects others to "guess."
With this line (verse), I remembered myself.
Line messages during a long-distance relationship.
I would spend time typing out words, wondering how I could get him to accept my current state just as it was.
There were times when I sent messages hoping he would notice the meaning behind the words, but because it was only text, it didn't convey well at all.
In the time when I was able to face him without taking detours, there was a version of me that communicated what I wanted to say directly.
To the point of being embarrassing.
If I didn't do that, I felt like my heart would drift away from him first. It was my own selfishness, and I didn't want to waste the time of a partner who was trying to be straight and close to me.
Another phrase
Is breaking up by blaming work your specialty?
The scene where Chinami gets dumped by her new boyfriend.
It realistically depicts the career and romance unique to this generation.
But honestly, I thought he shouldn't have left Chinami behind just because of a domestic transfer (my bias is in full effect).
I feel like she would have wanted him to at least consult her a little.
The fact that the breakup was decided solely by his will without consulting Chinami made me feel there was no real love in this relationship, and it really stung.
Because there is a legitimate reason called work,
the loneliness and frustration of not being able to step in.
Does romance only work because you want to be together even if you throw everything else away?
Can career and romance coexist?
I don't want to lose my career or my partner's career. On top of that, I want to be together.
Is this too much to ask?
I don't have the answer to this question yet.
The only thing I know is the strength of mutual respect and trust. I don't think you can overcome things without that.
But honestly, I still don't know if that alone is enough.
How do you all balance work and romance?
Thank you for reading this far,
thank you🌷
More freely.
I really want to talk endlessly about the greatness of Umezawa-san's acting and the passion she put into the role of Chinami.
However, I cannot find the right words to express that right now.
That is how overwhelmed I was by her performance.
I hope I can write about it someday.