[Momo] The true identity of my second daughter, whom I thought was just a 'spoiled youngest child'

My second daughter, Momo, is four years old. She's in middle-year preschool.

If you were a stranger and watched Momo for five minutes, you would probably think, 'What a spoiled youngest child.' She goes at her own pace, occasionally comes over for a tight hug, and somehow makes even sad things seem comical. She's like a textbook example of a youngest child.

But Momo isn't just being spoiled. She's reading the room.

And recently, I realized something. What Momo does every day is the same scene I often saw at my workplace.

First, let's talk about brushing teeth.

To be honest, Momo's usual tooth brushing is quite sloppy. She scrubs for about three seconds and then makes a face like she's already finished. That's the usual Momo.

However, when her older sister Peko is being scolded for doing a poor job brushing her teeth, and Momo is right next to her...

Momo's tooth brushing suddenly becomes the most thorough in the world. She brushes every single molar while looking in the mirror, with the technique of a dental hygienist. Where did those usual three seconds go?

I watch that out of the corner of my eye and think: Ah, this kid just read the room.

She is calculating in an instant, 'How should I behave right now so my evaluation doesn't drop?' How is this any different from the ability to sense in a meeting room that 'it's better not to say this right now'?

Practicing hiragana is the same.

When Peko doesn't want to do her homework and is crying after being scolded, the air in the house is tense. At times like that, even though no one asked her to, Momo slowly starts practicing her hiragana right next to her. Right next to her crying sister. Quietly writing 'a-i-u-e-o'.

This is no longer a matter of just being well-behaved. A four-year-old is making the judgment that 'the optimal solution right now is to stay quiet and keep my hands busy.'

— A colleague who, on a day when the boss is in a bad mood, says nothing unnecessary and silently continues working. You know the type. That's it. A four-year-old is doing that.

And the ultimate one is the shower.

I take a shower before going to work. Because of the sound of the water, I can barely hear what people are saying even if they talk to me. So, it's a hassle, and I end up just saying, 'Yeah, yeah, sure, sure.' Even though I know it's not good, I just do it.

—Momo targets this.

Usually, during times when I can actually listen to her, she doesn't make these kinds of requests. But at the exact moment I'm taking a shower, when my processing capacity is at its lowest and I can only say 'sure, sure,' she strikes perfectly at that moment.

After I say 'sure,' I'm startled. I've been had. By the time I turn off the water and ask, 'What did you just say?', Momo is already heading back to the living room with a face that says she's finished her business.

A four-year-old is doing this on her own, without anyone teaching her. Where is the moment the other person is most relaxed? When is my request most likely to be granted? She observes, tests, and remembers that.

Because of my line of work, I have always thought about 'when and how to make a proposal so that it is more likely to be accepted.' I wait for the moment when the other person is not too busy, not in a bad mood, and has the mental space to make a decision before bringing up the topic. Whether it is a business negotiation or internal coordination, in the end, timing is everything.

Momo does this naturally in front of the faucet.

The ability to read the other person's situation and act accordingly that I have spent years consciously trying to acquire, this child is demonstrating at four years old, without anyone teaching her, and on her own.

—That is why I try not to think of Momo as a 'sly child'.

The fact that she is usually sloppy with brushing her teeth is not because she cannot do it, but because she has judged that 'there is no need to do it carefully here.' Being a good girl next to her sister who is being scolded is not flattery, but a reading that 'staying quiet here is the best option.'

In other words, she is not a child who cannot do things, but a child who can read the situation and calculate the pros and cons.

Observe the world well, read the other person, and time things perfectly.

That is a skill that will be needed long after she becomes an adult. In fact, it is the kind of skill that some people would even pay money to acquire.

Since she is doing that at four years old, well, I think it is quite impressive.

I am sure that today, too, when I take a shower, she will come to me with some kind of negotiation. Even though I know it, I will probably say 'sure, sure' again, and thinking that, I turn the faucet on again this morning.

I wrote about my second daughter, but my eldest daughter, Peko, has a completely different personality. She is timid and sensitive. But that sensitivity is also one of her good qualities.

I really think that sisters are completely different.

Peko's story is here ↓