[Part 7] Middle School Entrance Exams × Study Management: How Much Should Parents Manage?

1. The dilemma of "Should I step in here?"

Days spent wavering between "Am I interfering too much?" and "Am I being too hands-off?"—This isn't limited to middle school entrance exams, but how much do you interfere with your child's lifestyle? Wake-up times, school supplies, events, homework, extracurricular activities, and so on—the list is endless. Families where children proactively check all of these themselves... I think their future is secure.


In our house, we are far from secure; my child is as immovable as a mountain when it comes to acting on their own. I could be bold and leave them alone to encourage independence, but I'm worried to the point where I think they might not even go to school in the morning if I left them to it (they don't even wake up on their own in the morning to begin with).

The same goes for their studies; if I let my guard down with things like school homework, it can turn into a disaster.

(Me)
"Wait, when is that (assignment) due?"
(Tab)

"(While watching a tablet) Huh? Tomorrow, though."
(Me)

"Wait? Tomorrow? (It's currently 10:00 PM)"

Such exchanges are an everyday occurrence, and as for the child's argument,
"I'm a kid, so I can't manage it."
is their refreshing answer, and they don't have a shred of malice. They are truly impressive.

It's a case of the consequences of having spoiled them coming back to haunt me, but my desire to have them run on their own and my desire to minimize risks (and maximize performance in their studies) are constantly at odds.

2. Making the schedule your "ally"

It's natural for what you want to do to change from day to day, but since they didn't have the capacity to just visualize and get through it, I created a weekly schedule including school plans, extracurriculars, and external tests so that they could visually recognize what they can do and what they must do.

I'll share the details on how to organize this another time, but what's important here is sharing the created schedule with Tablet-Man.

For some reason, Tablet-Man gets hooked when I show it on the screen.

It seems they recognize what they have to do that day, and while they used to just go through the motions with their assignments, their motivation seems quite different now.

Also, when the tasks are neatly lined up in front of them, they seem to get a sense of pleasure from crossing off items when finished, so I felt that it might be more effective than I thought.

Since then, I've made a point of showing them the list I created, and I've been drilling it into them by saying, "You have to do this much today, right?" as if to say it's not my fault because someone else made it, but I was surprised to see them take a surprisingly proactive approach.

3. Dealing with days that don't go as planned

Now, having said that, they are human, so plans can easily fall apart based on their mood alone. As I introduced in a previous article, this is within expectations, so I have no choice but to manage it somehow.

Are they simply tired, or do they just not want to do it? It's usually both, and it's necessary to flexibly reorganize the schedule according to the situation.
Before we get stuck in a quagmire, we organize things in our house as follows.

・When they are in a bad mood
⇒ Since they become unmanageable when they have to rack their brains or make frequent mistakes, I have them focus on easier assignments or subjects they are good at.

・When they are feeling sluggish
⇒ I switch to assignments that focus on quiz-style questions, conversation, and communication to help them refresh.

・When assignments take longer than expected
⇒ Depending on the importance, I basically cancel the subsequent assignments, have them focus on the current one, and then judge what to do next based on how tired they are.

Thinking about it this way, it might seem like it takes a lot of effort after all.
Interfering too much is counterproductive, and watching silently makes me anxious.
I feel keenly every day that how a parent gets involved requires an exquisite sense of balance.

4. Conclusion

Now, after continuing this search without a correct answer and proceeding with our own way of doing things in our house, is it actually leading to results for the child?

After taking the monthly test held at the cram school the other day, several reflections and new perspectives have emerged.

I hope to organize those points little by little from the next time onwards.

Well, thank you for staying with me until the end.
I would love to hear your opinions and impressions in the comments (I would also be thrilled to receive support via likes or tips).

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