Hands of the Night - Part 2: Shima and Rui

　It was pitch black.
　It should have been daytime, but it was dark.

　I felt as if I were moving at high speed through a dark tunnel.

　I saw a light ahead.
　I thought that was the exit.

　I flew toward the light.

　The light grew larger and larger, enveloping me. I felt as though I were being wrapped in an incredibly vast love.

　I could see numerous geometric patterns within the light, shifting like a kaleidoscope.

　As I watched those patterns, a will was conveyed to me. The will of the light? It was something like that.
　I was convinced that my entire being had been affirmed and accepted.

　Now I could return to the sky with peace of mind... just as I thought that, something pulled me back.

　...WON'T LET YOU GO...

　It was Yami.
　Yami would not let me go.

　I felt Rui's presence before me.
　Something glaring and prickly drifted toward me.

　Rui...!!

　I caught the glaring, prickly thing and held it tight.
　My whole body stung with pain, but I hugged Rui, determined never to let go.

　The world was moving violently.

　I had the sensation of falling somewhere, and it grew stronger and stronger.

　It was a tremendous vibration.
　The vibration was so intense that I dropped Rui.

　To my horror, I had dropped Rui.

....

　I opened my eyes.
　Everything was blurry and I couldn't see well.

Just a warm sensation. The feeling of being wrapped up by someone kind.

When I was hungry, something soft was pressed to my lips and a drink came out.
When I excreted, someone changed my diaper.

I thought I had failed to die and become bedridden.

But that was not the case.

I had become a baby.

I lifted both of my fists. I could vaguely recognize them.
I brought them to my mouth and chewed on them, confirming that they were my own hands.

I didn't have any teeth yet.

My name is Shima.
I clearly remembered that until just recently, I had been an old woman.

I also remembered that on the way here, I had dropped Rui's soul.

I have to find that child soon.
They must be lonely all by themselves.

Amidst a vague sense of things, I waited for time to slowly tick by.

In a baby's world, there was more to feel through the skin than to perceive through sight.
The feeling of being held by someone. The texture of undergarments and blankets.
Whether it was hot or cold.

When I got sleepy, my eyes and back would itch and feel uncomfortable, so I cried.
When I got hungry, an uncontrollable anger would well up, so I cried.
When my diaper got dirty, the sensation was unpleasant, so I cried.

If I didn't cry, nothing would be done for me.
I wanted someone to do something about it. Thinking that, I cried incessantly.

Eventually, as my vision began to clear, I was a little bewildered by my surroundings.

The people I saw were all wearing kimono-like outfits, which felt very old-fashioned.

I certainly thought I had been reborn, but isn't rebirth supposed to mean going to the world after death?

No matter how I looked at it, this world did not seem like the world after death.
On the contrary, it seemed as if I had been born a long time ago... in an era before there was even a hint of science.

Could it be that I was born at the wrong time...?

I became incredibly anxious.

What if Rui isn't here?

If Rui isn't here, then there is absolutely no point in living life again while retaining his memories.

And so, as I drifted within the thoughts of an infant, several months passed.
I became able to understand much of the language that I hadn't understood at first.

I felt that the language spoken by the people here was not the language I knew.

…Is this not Japan?

And then, I discovered that I had a penis between my legs.

I had vaguely suspected it, but I had been born as a man.

The adults called me "Shi-chama".

It seemed I was born into a wealthy family.
Someone like a nanny usually took care of me, and my real mother would come by occasionally.

It was strange that I knew she was my mother, even though she only came occasionally.

This family seemed to value scholarship, and I was raised to devote myself to study from a young age.

Once I learned to read, I discovered that my name was "Shima".
Is this a coincidence or destiny…?

It seemed I was in a position to be called Young Master Shima.

The scholarship in this world was unscientific, like feng shui or fortune-telling.
This world was believed to be composed of six elements: "Earth," "Water," "Fire," "Wind," "Void," and "Darkness," and it was thought that the heavens and earth would be at peace if these properties were accurately grasped.
Each element had a plausible myth attached to it.

I had heard of something like this Fifth Element before, but I was always bothered by whether it included "Darkness".

The sound of the word "Darkness" made me uneasy.

Because it was definitely Darkness that brought me here.
When my soul was about to ascend, it was Darkness that said, "I won't let you go."

What made me even more uneasy was the myth attached to "Darkness".
The myth of "Darkness" was suggestive and extremely eerie to me.

And it was said that when the Keeper of the Night opens its eyes, the world will perish.

This story inevitably reminded me of that dark woman and Yami.
Was that woman a guardian of the night?

Then why did she appear before us?
What does she want us to do?

Didn't Yami want to heal her eyes?

I began to loathe this unscientific worldview.

Even regarding the inexplicable phenomena I experienced myself, I refused to dismiss them with spiritual interpretations.
There must be a reason. A clear reason that I can accept.

I challenged myself with academics, making full use of my memories from my previous life, and eventually came to be called a child prodigy.

But being treated like a god did not last long.
Those who do not follow the customs of the land become isolated.

I disregarded the scholarship of this world and went around talking to people about chemical concepts.
The people of this world, especially those of high status, detested scientific talk.

Because of that, I was completely treated as an eccentric, but I didn't care.
I became estranged from my superstitious grandmother, and my parents rarely came to see me, but my food, clothing, and shelter were guaranteed.
So, although I was lonely, I was free.

Finding Rui became the only important thing to me.
However, Rui never appeared before me.

Eventually, when I turned fifteen, I was treated as an adult in this world, and a boy of my generation was assigned to me as a caretaker.

He was someone named Mochizuki, and he lacked a left arm.
I felt like I had seen him somewhere before, but I couldn't remember who he was.
I was certain it wasn't Rui. Rui isn't this serious.

In this world, if there was a deformity or loss of a body part, there was a tendency to unilaterally label it a curse.
Even while growing up amidst such discrimination, Mochizuki did not become bitter; he was a man with a sincere, flexible, and resilient heart.

The people in my house probably intended to assign Mochizuki to me with the simple idea of 'fighting heresy with heresy,' but I felt something fated about this.

If a stubborn caretaker had been assigned to me here to try and reform me, I might have gone insane.
I made sure to always express my gratitude to Mochizuki.

Mochizuki also began to grow fond of me.

Mochizuki was always by my side and accompanied me everywhere.

Once I was entrusted with some work and could go out freely, I searched for Rui everywhere.
My family had for generations been a clan that conducted population surveys in various regions, so I could ask people questions while I worked.

As I reached my late teens, I, the eccentric, began to be ordered only to conduct surveys in distant places.
The people in my house thought that the further one went from the capital, the more lowly the people living there were, so no one wanted to go far.

Mochizuki seemed angry that it was unfair only to me, but it was convenient for me to be able to hear rumors from a wide area.

...Rui must be out there.

I kept telling myself that.

But how could I find him? If Rui had no memories of his past life, there would be no way to track him down.

Regardless, I went from house to house in every region under the guise of conducting a census, searching for someone who might be Rui.

One day, I happened to visit a certain farming village.

The villagers were in an uproar, so I asked what was going on. Apparently, a stray child who had settled in the neighboring village had suddenly restored fields that had suffered from consecutive poor harvests, leading them to a bountiful crop.

"We were just discussing bringing that kid over to our village to help us get back on our feet, too."

The villagers said this one after another as they looked out over their own fields.

From what I heard, it didn't seem like it had anything to do with Rui, but I decided to go see the stray child just in case. Mochizuki followed me without saying a word.

When I arrived at the neighboring village, the child in question was just explaining how to make fertilizer to the villagers. He looked to be about ten years old. He was filthy, with messy, unkempt hair. He looked just like an abandoned dog.

As I observed from a distance, it seemed as though the child possessed knowledge that the people of this world did not have.

Instead of relying on spells, he seemed to be teaching them how to make fertilizer from manure. The people around here didn't seem particularly superstitious, and they appeared to be listening to the child's advice and putting it into practice.

Not wanting to get in the villagers' way, I sat down under a nearby tree and watched the child working diligently.

And then, it suddenly occurred to me.

...Rui's family home was a farm.

Is that... Rui?

My heart swelled with anticipation as I watched the child work. But why is he a child? Did I drop him?

I racked my brain, wondering how I should approach him. What would he think if he found out I was a man?

No, what if it isn't even Rui in the first place...?

After a few hours, the child finally seemed to be free from the villagers. I slowly walked toward him.

When the child noticed me, he glared at me as if on guard.
He looked so much like Rui when he was a child that I couldn't help but smile.

"Who are you? Why are you laughing?"

He was a dirty child. Mochizuki tried to reprimand him for his rudeness, but I stopped him.

"I am someone conducting a population survey in this area. I heard that you were the one who restored the fields around here."

"Yeah, that's right. These people don't know anything, so I couldn't just stand by and watch."

"Where did you learn that knowledge?"

"That's a trade secret."

...Trade secret... I didn't let that phrase slip by.
It is a phrase that does not exist in this world.

I was more convinced than ever. This child is definitely Rui.

"...I have a few things I'd like to ask you. Would you come to the capital with me?"

"Me? No way."

I crouched down in front of Rui and whispered his name.

"Rui?"

Rui looked bewildered, but then his eyes widened in an instant.

"Are you not Rui?"

When I called his name again, the child clutched his chest and took a step back.
Then, he timidly called my name.

"Shima... is that you?"

I nodded.

"You're a man? Why are you a man? And why are you an adult?"

Rui asked one question after another. Both were questions I could not answer.

"Well... I wonder why."

As I said that, I picked Rui up.
Rui wrapped her arms around my neck and clung to me tightly.

"You'll come with me, won't you?"

Rui nodded repeatedly in my arms.

When we returned to the mansion, there was a temporary uproar that I had brought home a dirty child.
I insisted, leaving no room for argument, that the household staff clean Rui up.

Later, as I was giving instructions for dinner, Mochizuki quietly approached me and whispered, "That child is a girl."

...A girl...!! Rui is a girl!!!

An emotion I didn't know how to process overflowed within me.
No, I had thought it didn't matter whether Rui was a boy or a girl, but the idea of Rui being a girl sounded incredibly enchanting.

Mochizuki watched my reaction with a puzzled look.
I realized I needed to explain a little to him.

"Hey, Mochizuki. Honestly, what do you think about me bringing that child home?"

Mochizuki thought for a moment before replying.

"Honestly... I was surprised, but I knew you were looking for someone, young master. Is that child the one?"

I nodded.

"If that is the case, then I am happy you were able to find her."

Hearing those words made me like Mochizuki even more.
I don't need excuses or explanations for Mochizuki. He believes in me.

I patted his shoulder to show my gratitude.

Rui returned.
She was wearing boy's clothing, but she was as cute as a doll.

Rui looked quite embarrassed.

"They prepared this for me when I said I preferred boy's clothes."

Rui said, fidgeting. She knew that I was now aware she was a girl.
Her demeanor was endearing and precious.

“It’s fine. Wear whatever you want.”

I said it as curtly as I could.
I didn’t want Rui to realize how intensely I was swooning.

Rui nodded, saying “Okay,” and seemed a little relieved.

The meal was brought in.
I couldn’t settle down because people who usually wouldn’t even pay me any mind kept peeking into the room out of curiosity.

I wanted to have Rui tell me about everything that had happened so far while we ate, so I allowed only Mochizuki to be present and forbade anyone else from entering.

I didn’t know what Mochizuki would think of our conversation, but I wanted him to hear it.

According to what Rui said, she also remembered passing through something like a tunnel of light to get to this world.

It seemed she, too, had been born into this world while retaining the memory of being Rui, and had known from the start that she had been reincarnated.

However, it appeared that her memories of her previous life were hazy toward the end, and there were parts she couldn’t quite recall.
In particular, her memories from after her dementia began to progress were quite unreliable.

I hesitated over whether I should tell Rui about our reunion at the nursing home.
I thought it might be better to learn a little more about Rui’s situation, so I let her continue her story.

After being born into this world, she had someone like a mother at first, but it seemed she was on her own by the time she was old enough to understand things.

Rui laughed, saying that she had strangely accepted being born as a woman without any trouble.

Rui had intuitively known that I had been reincarnated along with her, but she said she hadn’t been certain.

“And then, suddenly, Shima appeared. I never imagined you’d become such a handsome young lord. I guess it’s because you lived a good life in your previous one.”

Rui kept stealing glances at my face as she said that.

“How did you know it was me?”

“I knew the moment you called my name.”

Rui looked embarrassed and shoveled food into her mouth to cover it up.

We shared our views on this world.
We agreed that it didn’t seem to be either the future or the past of the world we had come from.

“I don’t think it’s that simple.”

“Yeah, it’s like Japan, but it’s not Japan. But people are still people, and the calendar is likely a lunar one. The animals and plants are all things I’m familiar with, so I can’t say it’s an entirely different world either...”

Rui stated his opinion, which was truly spot on.
I agreed with him, feeling impressed.

“That’s right. It’s just the language and culture that are unfamiliar... I have no idea what era or what country this is.”

Then, Rui suddenly looked at me with an expression as if he found something amusing.

“What? Is something wrong?”

“Shima, you’ve really started talking like a young master, haven’t you?”

Rui said, laughing as if to tease me.
I suddenly felt embarrassed.

“Well... I suppose that’s what happens when you’ve been playing the young master for years...”

Rui chuckled, ‘Ufufufu.’
This part of him hadn’t changed at all from the Rui of the past, and I was dumbfounded.
Does this guy’s personality not change even after being reborn...?

Mochizuki listened to this exchange from the side without changing his expression at all.

“Well, setting that aside, I’m convinced now. This place resembles the atmosphere of the ancient Far East, but it’s not Japan, Korea, or China. A parallel world, perhaps? This is a world we don’t know.”

Rui declared this firmly.
Even though he was in the position of a street urchin, it seemed Rui had been investigating this world in his own way.
He’s resilient.

“Hey Shima, why did this happen to us?”

“...I don’t know... but... I’m sure Yami is involved...”

“Huh? Yami?”

Rui looked surprised.

I had been careless. Rui didn’t have memories of the nursing facility.
Rui’s mind was more stable than I had thought. I decided it would be fine to tell him about our final moments.

“Actually, Rui, I was the one who looked after you at the end.”

At this, Rui’s eyes widened in surprise.

“We reunited at a nursing facility. A so-called old folks' home. You were already in a state where you didn’t know who you were, though. Do you think this is a coincidence?”

"No, I don't think so."

Then I told him about how Yami had appeared at the moment of Rui's death.

"I see, Yami... I haven't seen him once since I saw him let out a strange cry and run away on that mountain. So, was Yami still young at that time?"

"Yes, that's right."

As I said that, I felt a chill run down my own spine. Who on earth is Yami?

What does he want us to do?

Could it have something to do with that black woman with the crushed eyes? Thinking about it logically, I couldn't help but think that was the only possibility.

"Hey, Rui. Do you remember that black woman too? Did you meet her after that?"

When I asked that, Rui's face stiffened slightly. Then Rui said, "I haven't."

I had a feeling that was a lie. But I pretended not to notice.

I had pretended not to notice.

"What should we do here? Look for Yami?"

Rui said, sounding a bit irritated.

Look for Yami? I couldn't really bring myself to agree with that. I had a feeling that Yami would show himself eventually, even if we left him alone.

In this life, I had begun to feel that I wanted to prioritize my time with Rui above all else.

What would a life lived together with Rui be like? How could I be expected to do anything else without fulfilling the one regret I couldn't resolve in my previous life?

"Well, let's think about it without rushing. If there is some meaning to this, fate will surely come to us on its own. Right now, Rui, I want to cherish the time I spend with you."

When he heard that, Rui burst into tears. He must have been incredibly happy.

When Rui, exhausted from talking, fell asleep, I called Mochizuki out to the garden and asked him what he thought about what we had just discussed.

"Were you two talking about things from before you were born?"

"That's right."

"In my hometown, there is a custom of believing in reincarnation. I believe your story."

"I see, that's good then."

I felt grateful to Mochizuki.

For a while after that, the days continued without incident.
Since my relatives were being quite noisy about it, I took Rui in as my adopted child.

Rui usually spent time dressed as a man, but it seemed that she was not entirely a man in body or spirit.

She lived as a woman in body and spirit, but a part of her soul was male... that is what Rui said.
I understood that complex state of mind well. I was in a similar state myself.

Rui also began to accompany me on my field research work.

She also grew quite fond of Mochizuki, and the two of them were always happy together.

Rui shared her agricultural wisdom generously with people in various places, and eventually, she began to be deified.
People came to believe that the god of a bountiful harvest had sent Rui.

On the other hand, those who believed in old-fashioned superstitions disliked Rui's techniques and even seemed to consider them filthy.
There were times when people would make snide remarks, but every time they did, Rui would curse at them, saying things like, "Shut up, or I'll curse you," so no one came near her anymore.

Even when Mochizuki and I admonished her, saying, "Don't say things like that," Rui would just snort, and she never showed any sign of changing her attitude.
That is just the kind of person Rui is.

"If agriculture goes well, the country will be stable. I will do things my own way."

Even though no one had asked her to, Rui desperately went around teaching agriculture to the people of this land.

Rui began to go out alone to deal with things more often whenever there were people in trouble.
The further away people lived, the more they relied on Rui and sought her help.

She became busy, and we spent less time together than we used to.

One full moon night, while that kind of life was continuing.

When I returned home after work had kept me out until night for the first time in a while, Rui was waiting for me in the bedroom, unusually dressed in a woman's kimono.

I gasped at her beauty.
No, I had realized it all along.

Rui was beautiful.

"What's wrong? This is unusual."

I said it as curtly as I could so my true feelings wouldn't be discovered.
Rui sat formally in a seiza position, looked straight at me, and began to speak.

"Someone who looks like a servant here told me. That someone of my lowly status isn't qualified to be part of Shima's family..."

"Who said that?"

"Who... well, let's leave that aside. It just means there are people in this world who care about such things."

"I don't care."

"I know. Also, when I consulted Mochizuki, Mochizuki said it didn't matter either."

"I see..."

...Mochizuki, good job!!!

"And, well, I... I don't know where I was born or how old I am... but, um, for now, I just wanted to tell you that I've grown up as a woman..."

I didn't know how to correctly respond to such a sudden change in the conversation, so I gave a stupid reply like, "O-oh..."

Then, Rui bowed with her hands on the floor and said with great momentum,

"P-please make me your wife!"

I was surprised by the sudden turn of events and let out an involuntary "Eh?"

"I think I'm quite satisfied with my current environment, but it's become impossible for me to continue being Shima's daughter. I want you to make me your wife."

Rui said this as if pressing me, while rubbing her forehead against the floor.
A confession made on impulse... It's just like Rui...

...No, I had intended to say it myself when the time was right. Rui beat me to it again.

"Rui, you always say things so suddenly."

I said this while leaning down in front of her.

Rui looked up at me. She had an anxious expression on her face.
She might have been remembering the time I turned down her proposal before.

I loved Rui so much that I couldn't help myself.
Wanting to convey that feeling, I gently took her into my arms.

Rui was trembling.

"It's okay. Let's be a married couple."

I heard the sound of Rui drawing in her breath right by my ear.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure."

"Because you turned me down before..."

"It was just a matter of timing. Now, look, I have no one but you, Rui..."

I kissed her as I said this.
It reminded us of a gymnasium storage room in a world far, far away.

To make up for all the timing we missed in our previous lives, we loved each other until we were drowning in it.

Strangely, there was no sense of discomfort in the fact that our genders had swapped.
Even if we had been born the same sex, that likely wouldn't have changed.

Before long, Rui became pregnant, and on a night of a fierce storm, she gave birth to a boy.

The child born to us had a large birthmark around his left eye.

(To be continued)
Hands of the Night - Part 3: Darkness and the Night Watchman →

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