Imagining the hardships of caregiving and expressing my respect | note review

I would like to write about the "indescribable feelings" I had after reading a caregiving article by a noter I have been close with for some time, and the "feeling of respect" that stems from that.

The noter I am introducing is Keiko-san.
I have actually met her in person, and she is a cheerful and gentle person who also possesses a strong core. (I have received Keiko-san's permission to write this article.)

This article was posted in November 2022, so it has been two and a half years. At the time, she spoke about the problems she faced while involved in caring for her aunt. She honestly wrote about her aunt's cognitive distortions and the worries and anxieties of daily life, which gave me much to think about.

The "indescribable feelings" were
roughly three things.
First, that she might end up carrying it all alone...
Second, that I hope she prioritizes herself first.
Third, that sometimes she should set aside what she is carrying.

Looking at them listed like this, it feels like I am trying to say the same thing as a conclusion, but perhaps I was predicting back then while reading the article that "Keiko-san might push herself too hard...".

And, that I probably wouldn't be able to take on the care of an aunt like Keiko-san did. No matter how much someone took care of you when you were small, it is not something easily done. Including not only accepting the emotions stemming from her aunt's cognitive distortions but also the fact that she was simultaneously caring for her younger brother, the word "devoted" felt just right.

As a nurse by profession, I have experience interacting with people with dementia not only in general hospitals but also in day-service care work. However, there is a big difference between interacting with them for work and in private life. Emotions that can be compartmentalized at work become quite difficult when it comes to family. In the sense that there is a fair amount of mutual dependency between the caregiver and the person being cared for, everyone who is currently providing care is precious.

Keiko-san's caregiving articles have been posted since then as well. If you are interested in the continuation, please do read them. Even for those who have read them in the past, reading them again provides learning even without having the actual experience.

In the caregiving that Keiko-san experienced, various emotions that had been kept under wraps throughout her life were stirred up, and the process of conveying those emotions to the person they should be conveyed to and having them accepted is recorded in this article.

Even reading it again now, I want to pat Keiko-san on the back and say, "You worked so hard..." (Please forgive me, as someone younger, for being presumptuous... sweat)

The emotional swings and hesitation felt while caring for her aunt, and the events and worries including her relationship with her mother, can be understood as having been the catalyst for Keiko-san to vent and confide the emotions she had kept under wraps, if one thinks about it in terms of the result. I objectively felt that even the painful things were a necessary process.

The latter half is paid, but I would like you to read at least the free part. It makes you realize that keeping painful or sad feelings under wraps is not truly taking care of yourself.

To those who are continuing to provide care, please praise yourselves. And sometimes, please convey healing time for yourself and words of appreciation to your own heart and body.

Keiko-san, I imagine there wasn't just one or two times you hesitated to write this. I imagined that while writing helps organize your feelings, it was also painful as bitter emotions were revived. Thank you for this valuable account of your experience.

If we can meet again, let's have a fun tea time together♪