The Truth Behind "They're a Good Person, But..."

"They're a good person, but I feel a certain distance from them."
Or perhaps, "They do their job properly and their personality isn't bad. But for some reason, they never get recommended." Have you ever experienced being evaluated like that?

They are pleasant to be around. They don't cause trouble. They do their work diligently. Yet, for some reason, they don't attract trust or popularity. They aren't chosen for leadership roles.
It feels like there is some kind of "wall" there.

This is not just a matter of chemistry or impressions.
The "structure where 'good people' go unnoticed" is at play there.

(-。-)y-゜゜゜

In the first place, there is a consistent rule for how we evaluate others. It is that we judge people not by 'what they were doing at a specific moment,' but by 'which story they appeared in.'
In other words, impressions are formed by 'structure,' not 'fragments.'.

For example, even if a colleague handles a problem for you, if you aren't there to witness it, you won't say "thank you."
On the other hand, just by standing out a little in a presentation, people might say, "That person is capable."

The "structure of being witnessed" is the structure of evaluation itself. That is what it means.

Here lies the key to the phenomenon of "being a good person but not being liked."

In fact, many "good people" engage in "quietly polite" behavior. They support from behind the scenes, are considerate, ease the atmosphere, and avoid conflict. However, these are also "actions that are hard to witness."
In other words, they live in a "structure of not appearing in the story.".

Therefore, they end up with the evaluation: "I feel like they're doing something, but I'm not sure what."
--That is what it boils down to.

On the other hand, people who are described as "a bit pushy, but reliable" take actions that "appear in someone's story," even if they are a bit rough.

• "It helped that you spoke up clearly at that time."

• "You were the only one who voiced a dissenting opinion in the meeting."

• "I was dragged into it, but it worked out in the end."

In this way, people who take actions that "appear in someone's story as an episode" are "storified" in the memories of others.

And humans have a structure where they "come to like" people who appear in stories.

So, what can "good people" do to be rewarded?

The answer is to "appear in scenes that someone else can talk about."

In other words,

• don't just support from behind the scenes, but show the other person the "scene of you supporting them."

• Not just being a listener, but also 'verbalizing empathy'

• Not holding back, but 'asserting as a contribution'

──In this way, you align your actions with the 'structure that creates an impression'.

This is not about "making yourself look bigger."
It is about "designing your appearance in others' cognitive structures appropriately."

I don't want you to misunderstand; it is not that you are bad, nor that you lack effort.

If you feel that "I'm working hard, but for some reason, I'm not being evaluated," then... it may just be that the structure that conveys the essence of being a 'good person' has not yet been designed.

What remains in memory is not the action, but the observed structure.
What is talked about is not the personality, but the way of appearing.

So, that sense of discomfort──
that is probably because of the "structure."

The previous #StructuralAnalysisSeries was...

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