The Trap of 'Finding Yourself'

There is a phrase called 'finding yourself'.

It is a phrase that resonates with many—not just young people, but also adults struggling with their careers, middle-aged people considering a second career, or those looking toward a new life after retirement.

However—there is nothing that makes life take a longer detour than this phrase.

We tend to think about life under the premise of 'finding ourselves'.

What is my true self?
What kind of work am I suited for?
What is it that I truly love?

At first glance, these questions seem to encourage deep self-understanding, but in reality, they provide an 'excuse' to 'not take action until you find it'.

While wishing to become someone, action is put on hold for the reason that 'I don't know what that is yet.' This hesitation is the greatest loss of all.

Human 'likes' are surprisingly unreliable.

You start a job you admired, only to find it's different from what you imagined. You start a hobby you love, only to get bored of it in three months. You think, 'I want to live here' while traveling, only to want to go home in two weeks.

Everyone has had such experiences.

Emotions are fluid, and memories are full of illusions.
In other words, even if you think, 'This is truly what I want to do,' there is a high probability that it is merely a matter of convenience for 'the self of this very moment'.

That is precisely why your guide should not be what you 'like,' but what you have 'continued'.

A diary you keep writing every morning for no particular reason, or a workout routine you keep up just once a week.
Reading several books on a topic you just can't help but want to talk to someone about...

There may be no clear motivation or grand purpose there.
However, it is in the fact that you continued before you even realized it that your true essence appears.

'Likes' lie, but 'habits' are honest.

And the track record of having 'continued' is, in itself, a basis for believing in yourself.
Self-affirmation is born from such quiet realizations.

This also applies to work.

Honestly, I don't really know if my current job is 'what I truly love'.
But if I've been doing it for five or ten years without realizing it, it means at the very least, it's not something I 'hate to death.' On the contrary, I might have achieved a certain level of results or been thanked by others. If so, that might be the place where my existence is 'connected to society'.

What you are suited for is not what you are good at. It is what you can repeat without breaking yourself. You must not overlook the things that are quietly by your side.

The trouble with 'finding yourself' is that it creates a sense of impatience that you 'haven't found it yet' and an expectation that 'there must be a special version of me somewhere out there.'

As a result, you end up treating your 'current self' as merely temporary.

However, no matter how much you search, a 'perfectly fitting self' does not exist.
Rather, the self is nothing more than an accumulation of things that have continued.

You don't find it. It emerges through your daily choices and repetitions.

That is why I want you to listen more to the feeling of 'I think I can keep doing this' rather than the impulse of 'I want to try this.'

It is not flashy.
There is no frenzy.
It is just continuing.

That, perhaps, is what truly constitutes who you are.

Instead of going out to find yourself, look at the 'quiet repetitions' lying at your feet.

There, you will find the 'you' you can trust more than anyone else, and the bluebird.

They never wrote this in the textbooks, did they?

The previous #NotWrittenInTextbooks series was...

Ending Theme 'Not Written in Textbooks'