Survival Strategies for Women Who Don't Want to Be Taken for Granted

We live in an era where various elements are required for women to shine in society. Especially in recent years, with the spread of social media and the expansion of telework, the fields where women can play an active role have expanded dramatically. Even so,aren't many women feeling frustrated by how they are treated at work and in their private lives, while thinking, "I don't want to be taken for granted" or "I actually want to make better use of my own abilities"??

First, how can we turn such dissatisfaction and anxiety into "strength" and "flexibility"?
—Why not take a new step forward from here?

In this first installment, I would like to reconfirm the basic attitude for "living my life strongly and flexibly." This is by no means aimed at aggression, such as "standing out more than men" or "pushing self-assertion to the forefront."
Rather, I feel that women who can appropriately acknowledge their own value while honestly incorporating the opinions and help of those around them are the "not to be taken for granted" presence that is needed now.

First, I want to focus on "how to create a self-image."

We tend to evaluate ourselves through events in the outside world, but in reality, the opposite process often works. As psychologist Albert Ellis argued in rational emotive behavior therapy, "It is not the events themselves, but how we perceive them that determines our stress and sense of happiness." For example, when you are lightly dismissed by your boss at work, whether you think "It's because I have no ability" or "My boss just doesn't understand my true potential yet" will greatly change your next action. (*1)

It can be said that flexible and strong women consciously control these inner perceptions and have the awareness to connect them to their own growth.

Next, we must not forget "how to handle weaknesses."
Rather than forcibly hiding weaknesses, an attitude of utilizing them well can sometimes highlight strength in the end. For example, by being open about your areas of weakness, it becomes easier to create an environment where you can support each other within the team, and it is easier to increase the trust of those around you. Rather than continuing to play the perfect superhuman, moving forward while showing human weaknesses might actually be a shortcut to establishing a long-term "not to be taken for granted" reputation.

And a key word that is important in the coming era is "how to deal with social media."
In the online world, there is a risk that the information you send out will spread more than expected, or that you will receive unexpected criticism. It is precisely because of this environment that how you brand your words and actions becomes the key.
There are many women who, while continuing to post on themes they like, such as cooking or fashion, eventually find that it leads to work or they gain a new community.
The point here, too, is to convey your "true self" without wavering. Rather than performing a forcibly created image, it is better to include small failure stories or honest impressions, which makes people think, "This person is trustworthy," and as a result, a "not to be taken for granted" position is built.

Also, "how to draw boundaries in communication with others" is also important.
Women are sometimes seen as "kind people who accept everything," but if you leave the lines that you really need to protect ambiguous, you may end up being a convenient existence. In other words, to "not be taken for granted," it will be necessary to have the courage to say "no" at times.

In Japanese culture, many people are not good at refusing, but women who can respond firmly when they should refuse are highly likely to be evaluated by those around them as "people who have a firm core."

Furthermore, mental care to prevent your heart from becoming exhausted is indispensable.
As I have mentioned several times in this series so far, just trying hard forcibly will not last long. I think the state of "not being taken for granted" is not about intimidating others, but a stance of continuing to grow at your own pace while flexibly absorbing the opinions of those around you. To that end, a flexible attitude such as "valuing your time off," "securing someone you can consult with," and "sometimes having the courage to escape" will also be necessary. As these actions accumulate, the impression that "this person can handle any environment well" will be planted in those around you.

Finally, what is indispensable for becoming a flexible and strong woman is to continue to have the feeling of "cherishing yourself."
Even if you are carrying many tasks such as work, housework, and childcare, women who can think from the bottom of their hearts that "I also have value. It would be a waste to just keep being considerate of others" will naturally see the treatment from those around them change.
This is also a problem of self-affirmation, and it also leads to "self-efficacy" advocated by Albert Bandura (*2).
The attitude of continuing to challenge beyond what you can or cannot do is the way of life for women who shine in the new era, isn't it?

In the future series, we will convey know-how from multiple perspectives for women to grow into a "not to be taken for granted" presence in society, such as more concrete communication techniques, networking, and career formation.

Let's find hints to bring out your strength and flexibility together. Keep your heart light, but your will firm—that step will surely change your future significantly.

The next article is here

*1 Albert Ellis's Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy
The source of the "half-full glass of water" analogy often heard in these circles: whether you see it as "half empty" or "still half full."
ABCDE Theory
Activating event
Belief (beliefs/values)
Consequence
People's worries are not caused by the "event" itself, but are created by how that event is perceived (beliefs/values). This is
Dispute (changing them)
Effect. I plan to write about belief change methods in the NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) series later.

*2 Albert Bandura is a Canadian psychologist known for self-efficacy and social learning theory. He advocated "self-efficacy" and "social learning theory."