What I Can See and Share Because I Stumbled

Since May of last year, 2023, Jupiter, the planet of luck and expansion, has been in Taurus.

As someone whose sun sign is Taurus, for this past year, I have been thinking about
“what it is I truly want to do, my mission, and the meaning of my birth.”
What I arrived at was simply


“to be of help to someone, to be someone who can bring joy to others,”and that this is my greatest joy.

What I want to do is what I saw beyond my stumbles.

As I have written about in several articles before,

I want to support people struggling with parent-child relationships,

and I want to create a future where children can feel they want to keep living.

I want to respect various ways of living without being bound by stereotypes.

What I want to dedicate the rest of my life to doing is,

having had a painful relationship with my parents,

feeling uncomfortable within my own family,

not knowing how to relate to children as someone who grew up that way,

and being unable to maintain my own marriage,

amidst repeating many stumbles of agony, self-denial, and conflict,
I want to share the experience of how I managed to crawl out of that with someone else who is struggling in the same way.

The joy of “my stumbles being useful to someone else”

Since I was small, I would put on a “good girl” act in places outside the home, like school.

At home, of course, there were many times I was praised, but basically, my position was that of a “rebellious and difficult child.”

Because my self-esteem wasn't very strong, I was genuinely happy from the bottom of my heart whenever someone said “thank you” or “you’re amazing” to me.

In high school and university, I loved biology and went into the sciences, but I had a complex about being bad at math and physics.

The company I joined as a new graduate was a publisher.
I wasn't suited for research, so I took a job editing reference books for junior high and high school students.

It happened when I was involved in producing a high school math problem book. A high school teacher said to me about the explanations I had written,

“This is the kind of explanation I wanted! Everyone stumbles here! This is the first time I’ve seen such careful explanations!”

and they expressed their gratitude with such sparkling eyes.

The joy I felt then remains vivid even now.

“My weaknesses can sometimes be of help to someone else”

Perhaps this experience was the very first step toward my current goal.

Even if it is just one person, if it resonates with someone's heart

Of course, not everyone has had the same experience as I have.
Therefore, I do not think my message will be useful to a great many people.

However, in this journey of life that has no single correct answer, when you hit a wall and cannot find a way out,

I hope that my words can serve as a hint and make life a little easier for at least one person.