#2_Letters Without an Addressee - To you, sent softly from within my heart -
It might be something that actually happened, or
it might be a fictional story.
It might be words I just jotted down as they came to mind, or
it might be a letter intended for someone to read.
Either is fine,
it is a series with that kind of free nuance.
Feelings that will never reach,
feelings I couldn't put into words,
words I left behind in the midst of our drifting apart.
Feelings that never reached you and remained deep in my heart,
sometimes floating up softly,
and sometimes sinking—
I will quietly and slowly
write them down as letters
that I only send softly within my heart.
(※This is an irregular series.)
～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～
To you
It's been a while—no, we haven't met for quite a long time, but
how are you?
Time has passed in the blink of an eye,
and the days we have left for each other have become fewer.
Come to think of it, we've known each other for decades now.
We grew up together from childhood and became adults.
"We're different from other friends."
We used to say that to each other, didn't we?
We kept a "good distance" from each other,
not interfering too much,
and leaving the parts we couldn't understand alone.
We naturally knew that
that was how to respect each other's way of life.
Because of that comfort,
our relationship has continued,
even though we are far apart.
Since we were children, we told each other things
that we couldn't tell anyone else.
Ever since you were little, you always stood out,
and had a strong presence.
Precisely because we have known each other so long,
and because we are so close,
there are things I couldn't say—
"You are always shining."
I thought it was too late to say something like that,
so I kept it to myself.
But I always thought so.
I was proud to be your best friend.
You probably don't know this, but
other kids often asked me about you.
"Are you close with her?"
"Yeah, we live near each other and our families are close too."
When I answered that, everyone was surprised.
You were always stylish and mature,
and your belongings were unique and distinctive.
There were many kids who tried to copy you.
You were wealthy and lived in a big house,
and every time your father went abroad,
you would give me souvenirs that were rare at the time.
I know that behind that shining exterior of yours,
you carried a loneliness that no one else knew about.
And that you were trying hard to be a child who acted like an adult.
I remember the day you, who are always so composed,
cried in front of me just once.
The winter of our third year in elementary school.
It was snowing that day.
Your mother was rushed to the hospital.
Your father had a mistress and they had a child together.
They were always fighting about that, weren't they?
And so, on that cold, snowy day, your mother took those pills.
The darkness in your home that no one else knew about.
As a young child, you were alone in your room,
listening to the shouting of your fighting parents every single day.
You used to stop by my house often on your way home from school.
Both of my parents worked, so there was never anyone home.
“I don't want to go home, can I stay a little longer?”
You would ask me that every time it got close to five o'clock.
“My mom and dad are always fighting,
and I don't want to be at home.”
You told me you were “envious” of me.
I was truly surprised at that moment.
I never imagined that you, who everyone admired,
would say something like that to me.
“I'm envious that you have parents who get along,”
the third-grade girl whispered.
I couldn't think of anything clever to say,
so I just silently offered you
the agar jelly my mom had made.
The agar jelly we ate in silence
wobbled on the plate.
While carrying darkness behind your shining exterior,
you continue to live your life with composure.
Because you wanted to leave home as soon as possible,
you went to America for university.
You never returned after graduation,
and even now, you live bravely on your own.
The third-grade girl who sobbed on that snowy day
must surely still be inside you.
That is exactly why you still shine today.
You know that, even without me telling you, don't you?
Now that I finally have some free time,
maybe I'll hop on a plane and go see you.
Maybe I'll be able to say it then.
"You're always shining, just as you are."
Just these words.
~Today's Song~
"You're the Inspiration" Chicago Band
~To those who read until the end~
Thank you from the bottom of my heart😊
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