I am afraid of death. I want to be happy. -- Who is it that feels that?

Introduction

In a sudden moment, anxiety can arise for no reason.

Thoughts of death, the future, and an impatience that is hard to put into words.

At the same time, the desire to feel even a little bit of peace, to be happy, also emerges.

At such times, this question came to mind.

"Is 'that' which I fear, me?"

Chapter 1: Why does fear appear in the midst of a feeling of nothingness?

There are times when I am not thinking about anything, just feeling.

A sensation close to a blank space, neither good nor bad.

And yet, suddenly, into that space,
"I am afraid of death"
"Is it okay to stay like this?"
thoughts like these intrude.

What I feel at this moment is
a small confusion about whether I am calm right now, or anxious.

Why does fear appear in a place where there should be nothing?

That fact itself begins to seem a little strange.

Chapter 2: Fear moves before 'thought' does

If you look closely, fear is not the 'result of thinking'.

Rather, it has already begun before you even think.

• A reflex to avoid danger

• A reaction to brace oneself so as not to lose anything

• The movement that keeps searching for stability

These are not things you choose to cause.

Before you know it, they are already in motion.

When you think about it that way,
fear is not an "opinion," but closer to a "reaction."

It is more like a mechanism than a personality.

Chapter 3: The sensation of "watching"

When fear arises, there are times you are completely swallowed by it.

But from a certain moment, a little distance can emerge.

• Ah, anxiety has come up again

• My brain is getting ahead of itself now

There is a self that is observing in that way.

Here, one difference becomes clear.

Even if the fear is strong, the position from which you are watching it is quiet.

The thing that is afraid and
the place that is conscious of the fear are apparently not the same.

Chapter 4: The true nature of what we call "I"

Then, what is "I"?

Something that remains even when fear disappears.

Something that is still there, unchanged, even when you are at peace.

Something you still feel even when words stop.

That is,

• neither peace nor anxiety

• It is neither correct nor a failure

• It is neither happiness nor unhappiness

It simply exists.

Fear appears there, but it is not the thing itself.
Just as when clouds cover the sky, the sky does not become the clouds.

Just as when clouds cover the sky, the sky does not become the clouds.

Chapter 5: Leaving the question as it is

Is the 'it' that is afraid, me?

There is no need to provide a clear answer to this question.

Rather, the question stays alive longer if you do not rush for an answer.

Every time fear arises,
pause for a moment and place the same question.

You do not have to understand it completely.

It is okay for things to be mixed.

Just,
'It might not be the same'
The moment you can think that, your perspective widens by that much.

Without denying the fear,
without lifting yourself up,
stand quietly alongside the question.

I feel that just by doing that, this question is fulfilling its purpose sufficiently.

[Would you like to feel this continuation even more deeply?]

Art interior that encourages introspection and awareness just by placing it.

-In an AI era where speed and correctness are considered virtues, intentionally design 'time to return to yourself.' A small scene on your desk will make you realize what is truly important-

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Thank you for reading until the end.
Your reactions and follows are a great encouragement.

I hope this post serves as a spark to light a small lamp in your daily life.