A story about how words exist for things more wonderful than words

I think I'm in a slump.

It's not so much that I can't write, but rather that I don't know what I should do.
I have some articles drafted to near-completion, but I don't even know if I should publish them.

Lately, I've been talking a lot about how 'I write like this' or 'I will write like that,' and perhaps because I've been talking about it so much, I've completely lost sight of what is right.

I've been in a similar state before.
I was afraid of words.

Back then, there were elections, wars were starting, and I saw words everywhere that hurt and belittled all kinds of people. When I thought that what I wrote must surely be hurting or offending someone somewhere, I became unable to write anything at all.

In the first place, what I write is derived from my own experiences—experiences of someone who lacks even basic common sense—and it is within a very narrow and biased range. I have always felt ashamed to proudly publish such things.

At that time, I think I stopped writing for nearly a month.
But in the end, I started writing again, even while trembling.

However, back then I had fewer readers than I do now, and I wasn't writing that often to begin with, so I don't think it was a state that could be called a slump.

So, this is my first real, memorable slump.

Thinking that, I went back to basics.

That is, 'If you want to write, first read.'
Except for a very small number of geniuses, I don't think anyone can write good things without reading other people's work.

Even if you could somehow manage to write, it would be something done while holed up at the top of a tower you built yourself, filled with loneliness and arrogance.

So, for the first time in a while, I went to read the notes of people I don't know, and I was deeply impressed by many things, such as their honesty, the cold-eyed way they observe society, and their drive to take action for their own sake.

And then, I started reading 'Taiyo no Ko' (Child of the Sun), which Yahiro-san wrote about the other day.

When I think about 'recommending just one book,' I find it very difficult.

As Yahiro-san also wrote, I end up being conscious of the background of the person I am recommending it to, but no matter how close I am to someone, I can never truly know their background.

That is why the people I brazenly recommend books to are very limited, close acquaintances. But even then,
I often end up giving a very troublesome preamble like, 'If you have some free time, and you happen to be interested in this, and if the timing is right and you feel like reading it, then... blah blah blah...'

Because of that, I think it is truly cool to be able to recommend a single book to someone you don't even know without hesitation, and furthermore, to introduce it as 'a book that all of humanity should read.'

It is definitely better for you to read Yahiro-san's article for an explanation of 'Taiyo no Ko,' and since I haven't finished reading it yet, there is nothing I can write about it.

But for example, every time I trace descriptions on the page, such as the protagonist Fu-chan's 'sweat beading on her forehead' or her white sweater 'appearing and disappearing in a sea of bright red spider lilies,' my heart feels full.

Yes, this was the true pleasure of reading books.
For the past month and a half, or maybe two months, my head has been so full of writing for note that I haven't been able to read novels in paper books at all.

It feels like gently tracing the wrinkles of my brain with my fingers, massaging them, and slowly loosening them up.

While it is important to read the cutting-edge words of someone in this present moment, there is truly a deep, rich flavor in reading things that have stood the test of time and have remained—and will continue to remain—in people's hearts.

Kenjiro Haitani, who wrote 'Children of the Sun,' was a children's literature author, and there are many works of children's literature that I love.

Among them, Mimei Ogawa's 'The Red Candle and the Mermaid' is a work I have loved for so long that I own three copies with different illustrations, and I even wrote a sequel to it myself when I was young. I wouldn't dare do such a thing now.

Chihiro Iwasaki passed away after completing the illustrations for 'The Red Candle and the Mermaid,' so if you have the time, the interest, and the inclination... though I should say, you don't have to read it.

It is a very dark and sad story, and if there is a moral to be found, I think it is the obvious one: 'When your heart is stolen by money, you lose sight of what is truly important.' It is a short story, but it probably isn't great for time performance or cost performance.

However, there is no doubt that there are certain kinds of stiffness that can only be loosened by such things, and if there is anyone going through a difficult situation, I hope you will read less on the internet and try reading a book instead. If possible, a paper book.

For me, having hardened my heart so rigidly toward 'writing,' yesterday's reading time was very important.

The time remaining in this life is finite.

If you are willing to spend that precious time on my writing, I am truly beyond grateful, and since this slump is also connected to the thought of 'how can I get more people to read it,' I am saying the exact opposite.

There are things in this world, from all times and places, that are impossibly more wonderful than the writing of mine you are reading right here.

From 'Tao Te Ching' to 'Manon Lescaut,' 'The Lady of the Camellias,' and even 'Kitchen'.
(This is just a reflection of my own biases and is only one example.)

I hope you encounter wonderful writing and wonderful books that are perfect for you.

And I hope you can carry that in your heart as you live today.

The world of words is wonderful.
But living is even more wonderful.

Living for the sake of words is, after all, a bit insane, and even though I am insane and will likely write again tomorrow, I think...

But because words exist for the sake of things more wonderful than words, I will not forget that, and I intend to use my body and heart to the fullest to cherish today and live it well.