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The Boss Who Relies on Being 'Right'—I Was Wrong to Try to Get Along

2025年5月8日 10:43

▲ This is a derivative of this post.

There are many types of bosses in the workplace.
But the boss I met was a little special.

They were too close for comfort,
constantly correcting my way of thinking,
and even interfering in my private life, saying, "That won't work out for you."
They would unilaterally explain their own values at length, saying, "I'm the kind of person who..."

My first impression was that they were
"enthusiastic about guidance"
and "open about themselves."

──At first, I thoughtthey were opening their heart to me.
But I was mistaken.
They would ask me what I thought, so I answered honestly.
That was when the 'corrections' began.

I started being told about their irritation toward me in words,
and I gradually realized they were the kind of person who wouldglare or ignore meif I gave a "wrong answer." (I didn't realize it at first.)

Gradually, I became exhausted by thesense of pressure and discomfort.

■ 5 Characteristics I Saw in This Boss

An abnormally close sense of distance
→ They do not respect the other person's space. The boundary between "friendliness" and "intrusion" is blurred. Physically, their shoulders would touch mine, and the distance between our faces was abnormally close.
Obsessed with being 'right'
→ They overreact to different opinions or ways of thinking and force corrections, saying, "That's wrong."
Trying to correct my way of thinking
→ Not guidance, but "overwriting thoughts." Not dialogue, but "suppression."
Interfering even in private matters
→ Trying to control beyond the scope of work. The intrusion is carried out in the name of "thinking of you."
Talks about themselves a lot and is pushy
→ The desire to be "understood" is so strong that there is no room to receive the other person's words. They continue to talk about their own values for a long time. If I try to speak, they tell me not to interrupt.

■ Why does this type of boss act this way?

From a psychological perspective, there are several backgrounds to this behavior.

The assumption that "being right = peace of mind"
→ If their own sense of being right collapses, they become anxious. Therefore, they try to make the other person align with the "same way of thinking."
Trying to connect through control rather than empathy
→ They are bad at dialogue. That is why they lean toward "making others obey" rather than "convincing them."
Weak boundaries between themselves and others
→ They perceive other people's opinions as an "attack" and overreact.

■ Main psychological tendencies seen in this boss

Diagram

■ In a nutshell...

"An anxious, controlling communicator"
or
"An immature leader who tries to connect through logical arguments rather than empathy"

■ Points to Note When Interacting

If you confront them directly with your opinions, their self-defensiveness intensifies, making dialogue difficult.
If you distance yourself, their anxiety tends to increase, leading to more intrusive behavior.
You need to create a 'quiet boundary' that keeps them at ease while maintaining distance (though this is practically difficult).

■ Summary: This person's problem is choosing 'being right over empathy' and 'finding security through control'.

For those who believe that 'it's okay to be different,'
this boss isa presence with whom the premise of the relationship is completely different.

'The foundation of our relationship was too different.'

■ I Was on the Verge of Breaking Down

At first, I 'wanted to get along' with this boss.
I thought we could understand each other even if we had different ways of thinking.
The boss put on such a facade that I completely believed they were that kind of person.
My first impression was that they were a bright, energetic, and honest person.
They seemed like a supportive and cheerful boss.
Even though it was an act.

When I was asked for my opinion,
and I stated it,the corrections began.

Because it was so different from my previous impression,
I thought the corrections were just their own way ofmaking a joke or something..

In reality, they weresomeone with a narrow range of tolerance who couldn't accept differences and was convinced they were the embodiment of justice.

My words were turned into backtalk,
my insights were dismissed as delusions,
and my character was crushed by the single phrase, 'That won't work.'

My feelings never reached them at all.

They 'corrected,' 'controlled,' and 'denied' everything.

What I learned from this experience is that'there are some people you cannot reach through mutual understanding.'

■ In Conclusion

There are people who feel anxious without 'being right.'
But you don't need to share the same 'rightness' to get along with someone.
A relationship where you can acknowledge each other's differences is far richer and much healthier.

'Relationships that try to connect through being right are painful.'

I want to continue to cherish 'relationships that don't break even when we are different.'