Why 'Companions' Feel Better Than 'Friends' | Reasons to Increase Social Interaction | Coping with Panic Disorder

I mentioned the dentist last time, and there is one experience I had at the dentist where my restlessness eased.

It happened when the dentist recommended a mouthpiece to help with my teeth grinding.

"I end up taking the mouthpiece out right away because it feels so uncomfortable."
"Oh, I understand. I was the same way. It's hard to sleep with it in, isn't it?"

The dentist then shared how they dealt with it despite finding it difficult. I thought, 'Even the dentist finds it difficult? I feel a sense of kinship,' and before I knew it, my restlessness had vanished.

Like this, I've had several experiences, not limited to the dentist, where talking to someone for a bit made my restlessness disappear.

Perhaps by simply focusing on the conversation, my consciousness shifted to the 'present' and the anxiety faded away.

But at those times, beyond just the restlessness fading, I felt a strange sense of warmth.

Since my body has started to recover, I have been trying to increase my opportunities to talk to people as much as possible.

I feel like that is helping with my recovery from panic disorder, so today I will talk about 'social interaction'.

[Oxytocin is released through social interaction]

I also thought that the reason my restlessness disappeared in the dentist example might have been the 'sense of security' from being empathized with.

However, even with completely unrelated topics, there are times when my heart feels warm.

Like the nurse who talked about the weather in the waiting room when I took my child to the pediatrician, or the mechanic who started making small talk while I waited for my motorcycle inspection.

In both cases, I was 'stuck waiting' and couldn't leave, so I was feeling restless inside, but because they spoke to me, the restlessness faded, and I felt that warmth.

Perhaps this is what Dr. Shion Kabasawa wrote about in his book as 'Oxytocin Happiness'.

I thought that conversation with others—'social interaction'—allowed me to feel a connection and created a sense of security.

Oxytocin is called the happiness hormone.
It was a small event, but the source of that 'warmth' might have been happiness.

I always worry about whether I'm bothering the other person or if they are enjoying the conversation, even during small chats.

So, when the other person smiles or stops to listen to me, I feel relieved, happy, and a soft, fuzzy feeling inside.

[Is interaction with people you aren't usually close to effective?]

This is just my personal case, but when I talk to close friends or people I see often, anxiety often creeps in for me.

I think it's because there is less tension, leaving room for anxiety to enter.

When I have conversations with my dentist or people I don't interact with often, I am somewhat on edge. So, when I can hold a conversation without any issues, I feel relieved and happy.

Since my emotions are stirred in that way quite often, I think it might be why I am less likely to feel restless.

【Finding Healing in 'Comrades' Rather Than 'Friends'】

In my 20s, I went to Canada on a working holiday. I made many friends and acquaintances there. People from the same language school, roommates, the local office of the study abroad agency, friends of friends—everyone opened up immediately, and there was a warm atmosphere.

I had always wondered why it was so comfortable. I thought maybe it was because it was overseas.

In a book by Dr. Shion Kabasawa, he lists“friendship and interaction with comrades”as one of the situations where oxytocin is secreted.

I realized that the people I met in Canada were “comrades” aiming for goals like mastering English and gaining overseas experience. Perhaps it was comfortable because oxytocin was being released the whole time.

Until now, I had an image of “comrades” being slightly more distant than “friends.”

But because there is a common goal, you can empathize with each other, receive encouragement, and find things that you cannot get among friends.

I have come to think that for me now, interaction with “comrades” might be supporting my recovery.

“Comrades” gather in communities.

・“note” where you can meet people with mental illnesses
・“Mom friends” who struggle with balancing parenting and work
・“Exercise buddies” who do sports together

I couldn't understand the pain of mental illness or the difficulties of family life surrounding parenting unless I experienced them myself.

I realized that interaction with comrades becomes a source of emotional support at such times.

And as I wrote above, for me now, there is the added benefit that people at a moderate distance are less likely to cause me restlessness than friends!

It takes courage to enter a community on your own, but if you have a few places where you can confide your feelings, they become a place of emotional refuge.

【The Major Premise is That “Physical and Mental Health” is the Foundation】

Inside this book, and also on the obi strip, there is a triangular diagram. This diagram expresses that a person's happiness is only established when three happiness-related neurotransmitters are stacked in a specific order.

The structure of the triangle is as follows. The bottom layer serves as the foundation.

It is written that if you try to obtain happiness from the top, it will collapse. It seems important to build it properly from the bottom up.

I wrote about social interaction today, but that is only possible when you have "mental and physical health."

If you feel like you "don't have the energy to talk to people yet," consider that your mind and body are in a tired state, and focus on healing yourself🍀

[Summary]

Things I think are effective for mental recovery
・Talking with people
・Trying to talk to people you don't usually have contact with
・Joining a community and finding companions
・As a major premise, "mental and physical health" is the foundation

In this day and age, I feel it is good for both adults and children to have several communities.

And since it is easier to sense the other person's expressions and atmosphere in real-life conversations, I felt that the warm, fuzzy feeling lasts longer.

It has been about four months since I started note. I am also being healed by interactions on note, so I would like to write about that another time!

I am working on coping with panic disorder from five different angles. As one of those pillars, "calming the mind," I talked about social interaction this time. I have written in detail about the other four pillars in this article.

If you found this helpful or relatable, I would be happy if you could press the 'Like' button. May we increase our calm moments together, even if just a little!