A story about my attachment style.

I finally realized that my personality, which makes me feel abnormally anxious and restless just because a message is later than usual, or makes me feel intense fear of abandonment—worrying that I will eventually be discarded, that I am no longer wanted, or that they will never come back while I wait after being told they want space because I demanded too much—comes from the fact that my attachment style is completely anxious.

I think my self-esteem has plummeted because, in the past, both online and in real life, I have been hated to the point where my self-worth was ground down, and I have been blocked on social media and LINE without a word, and even recently, having the same thing happen to me has made my mind naturally think that I am a person who is not needed.

Because of that, even if the same thing isn't actually happening, when something similar occurs, my mind automatically assumes that the same thing will happen again, and people who become abnormally anxious and unable to sit still are said to have anxious attachment disorder. So-called normal people who can build good relationships with equal distance and trust in both romance and friendships are said to have a secure attachment style. Knowing that my attachment style is anxious felt so much like my own experience that it really made sense to me.

I feel very relieved because this personality of mine, which makes me excessively anxious, has been an eternal theme of where it comes from and what it is, and now I finally have an answer.