What I stopped doing and what I started doing for Shinkansen trips with children
Traveling on the Shinkansen with children.
Honestly, doesn't it make you a bit nervous?
“What if they make a scene?”
“What if I bother the people around me...”
“Will they be able to stay quiet?”
I used to be exhausted even before boarding the Shinkansen, but
looking back now, I think I could have enjoyed it more.
Please also refer to the ready-to-use packing list I put together after experiencing many trips home with children.
I used to try too hard to make them behave
In the past, I would feel restless just thinking about the trip.
I have to make them be good
I must not bother those around me
I have to act like a proper parent
The more I thought that way, the more on edge I became at my child's smallest movements or sounds.
By the time the trip was over, I was always the one who was completely exhausted.
Things I'm glad I stopped doing
The reason those Shinkansen trips became a little easier was that I stopped trying to do everything perfectly.
Trying to keep them quiet the whole time
Trying to keep everything on schedule
Pressuring myself by thinking, “I must not cause any trouble”
While still being considerate, Istopped blaming myself more than necessary.
Specific things I'm glad I started doing
Instead, what I'm glad I did was“prepare to get through it without stress”.
1. Board during nap time
I tried to board the Shinkansen to match my child's nap time as much as possible.
Just having them sleep during the ride makes a huge difference in my peace of mind.
2. Prepare several types of snacks
For when they start getting cranky,I prepared several types of snacks.
Even with the same snack, having a few different flavors makes it fun for them to choose, “Which one should I have?”
Just having a “trump card” changes how secure a parent feels.
3. Prepare quiet toys
I prepared compact and silent toys like sticker books, picture books, and drawing boards.
With videos, the signal can be bad, or they might want to play sound, which can actually make them crankier...
The key is to create an environment where you don't have to say, "Be quiet!"
④ Choose seats near the restroom or deck
I made sure to choose seats near the restroom or places where I could move to the deck immediately.
If they get fussy, I can move right away, and restroom issues can be solved quickly.
Just that alone makes me feel much more at ease.
⑤ Decide the number of seats based on the children's ages
When there are other passengers next to you, you inevitably feel self-conscious, so it's important to be strategic about how you book seats based on their ages.
When the children are small, a 2-person seat with them on your lap.
As they get a little older, secure a 3-person seat for 2 adults and 2 children.
In our case, with siblings two years apart, we used a 2-person seat from when they were 2 and 0 until they were 3 and 1.
After they turned 4 and 2, it became too difficult to have my daughter on my lap for two hours, so we increased it to a 3-person seat.
⑥ Keep items used during the ride in a place where you can reach them immediately
I packed snacks and toys so they could be kept at hand rather than on the luggage rack.
Being able to respond to "I want it now!" means you don't have to panic.
It's also reassuring to have wet wipes and trash bags ready to grab.
⑦ Decide on roles between husband and wife in advance
When boarding, getting off, or moving through the station,
・Which luggage who carries
・Which child who holds
—just deciding these things in advance drastically reduced the chaos on the day.
The biggest change was in "my heart"
While these tricks were certainly helpful, the biggest relief was being able to think, "It's okay not to do everything perfectly".
Actually, there is an unforgettable event that triggered the change in making Shinkansen travel a little easier.
Even if the children just made a little noise, I was so worried about the eyes of those around me that I couldn't relax.
"Are they thinking we're noisy?"
"Are they thinking we're a nuisance?"
I was constantly on edge like that.
Honestly, there were moments when it broke my heart to see my husband scolding the children harshly.
It happened one day on the Shinkansen.
When the children were happily giggling on the train, I was once again feeling restless, thinking, "Is this okay... are we being too loud?"
Then, I made eye contact with two women in their 70s sitting across the aisle. They smiled at me and said to my children,
“You’re so cute.”
They spoke to them so kindly.
Their expressions were so gentle, as if they were watching over us.
In that moment, I felt a weight lift from my chest, and I was so relieved I almost cried.
On social media and the internet, I often see negative comments like “children are noisy” or “they are a nuisance in public,” and before I knew it, I had become overly concerned with how others saw me.
I had become overly concerned with how others saw me.
At that moment, I thought,
Ah, there are kind people in this world too.
That’s what I realized.
Since that incident, I have been able to gradually let go of the feeling that I “have to keep them perfectly quiet.”
Looking back, the biggest reason why traveling by Shinkansen became easier,
more than any tips or preparation,might have been that my own mindset changed.that might have been it.
The feeling that travel time is not “time to endure,” but “time to spend together.”
That is the biggest reason why I am no longer afraid of taking the Shinkansen with children.
Conclusion
Traveling by Shinkansen with children can easily become exhausting if you try too hard.
But with a little preparation and the mindset of “not aiming for perfection,” it can become surprisingly easy.
To those planning to travel home by Shinkansen this year-end,
please, instead of thinking “I have to do this right,” try thinking “as long as we arrive safely, it’s okay.”
A mom being a little more relaxed is the best shortcut.
If you want to know about traveling by airplane, click here.
Please also refer to the packing list you can use when packing your bags.