[Death] Overcoming the Approaching Wave of Transformation

It has been a while again.
How is everyone doing?

Actually, I haven't felt much motivation to write lately.
This is because the stars that are strongly influencing me are all working together to renew me.
My brain is basically in an overheated state...
I would like to talk about this later as an astrologer.

Perhaps because of that, my own way of thinking has been changing in various ways.

Until now, I have been asking the Tarot 'how to spend the day' and pulling a one-oracle card, but I think I will take a break from that for a while.
While I don't know what to do at the moment,I have become able to see what is necessary as if I were holding it in my hands.
Therefore, even when I ask the Tarot and the cards tell me something, I find myself feeling 'Ah, I thought so' more often.

I decided to take this as a sign of growth and proof that my self-exploration has progressed to a certain extent.
So, from today, I will ask the Tarot for 'themes to write about on note' and talk about related topics.

That said, since I am currently in the middle of a major transformation, I don't know how long I will keep doing this, and I might start using the Tarot in other ways.

However, the fact that Tarot, astrology, and spirituality are the foundation will not change, and I plan to include insights and questions as I have done until now.
In the first place, that is necessary for me to live, so you could say I am currently in the process of selecting my methods.
Things won't change significantly, so please rest assured about that.

･･━✧━････━✧━････━✧━････━✧━････━✧━･･

Now, without further ado, here is today's theme.

Nice to meet you, this is the [Death] card.
It is generally one of the cards that people tend to find 'scary,' but among Tarot practitioners, there are many who like it.

Related Keywords
💀Destruction and Rebirth
💀Turning Point
💀Transformation
💀Settlement
💀Forced Termination
💀Scorpio
💀Pluto

It might feel a little scary at first glance, but it is destruction with an eye on the future.
It mercilessly shatters things by saying '{that is not what is needed right now}', but it is a loving card that will definitely guide you toward rebirth.

So today, I would like to make
'Overcoming Transformation'my theme.

As you can see, this card seems to represent me right now.
Being forced to change this and that regardless of my own will is quite exhausting.
Not knowing who I am, not knowing what I wanted to do, feeling anxious about whether what I have done so far was correct, and so on.
Anxiety is mainly what follows.

I mentioned that Pluto is involved, and this links to the note I wrote the other day about my Pluto in Aquarius period.

Now, let's first talk about the cause of this vague anxiety.
From here, we will enter the astrology talk.
It is long. Please be careful.

First, when I combine myNatal(way of living in this world) withDraconic(soul map),Transit(current position of celestial bodies), andFD(celestial bodies that ultimately work strongly on me), the following seem to be deeply involved.

I listed them roughly, but there are so many that it's a mess...
But it means that many things are intertwined.

And what I am feeling particularly this time is the
conjunction of Transit Saturn x Neptune in Aries.

Although I say Aries, it hasn't settled in Aries yet, and it is in a state of going back and forth between Pisces and Capricorn.
Since the two celestial bodies are moving individually, they will repeat overlapping and separating for a while.

When these two are in conjunction, Saturn's 'power to create form' and Neptune's 'power to dissolve form' work at the same time.
This is the cause of 'not knowing what I want to do'.

And this conjunction is occurring in Aries, which affects my "own will."
Because of that, the feeling of "I don't know who I am" keeps emerging.

My natal IC (the foundation of my heart) is in Aries.
"I will carve out my own place in the world."
"Even if I'm vaguely anxious, if I just keep pushing forward, I'll figure it out!"
It is a quality where intuition and instinct burn brightly.

Right next to that burning desire to run, practically right beside it,
Neptune is saying, "For now, let's just blur everything. Let's get rid of the boundaries."
Saturn is saying, "Things without form are meaningless, so I'll create them! Let's think about the structure first!"
It is a situation where I feel like both my arms are being grabbed and pulled in different directions.

I want to start running, but in front of me is an endless, thick fog.
Even if I run like this, I don't know where I'm heading or what lies beneath my feet.
In the midst of that, I am being told to "decide what to give form to."
When you hear that, it's only natural that the anxiety and confusion wouldn't clear up, right?

In other words,overcoming the gap between "starting to run on intuition" and "running while exploring in the fog"becomes the biggest theme.

And there is another Aries in my Draconic chart.
A triple conjunction of Venus, Uranus, and Neptune.
A stellium (three or more in one house) and an overload (three or more in one sign).
Also, my ASC (Ascendant) is in Aries.

Since so many things are involved, I feel that this is a time to give form to a "new start at the soul level."
However, before that, everything must be blurred and turned into fog once.
I think the flow will be to reconstruct from there.

It is likely telling me to evolve from an Aries that runs on pure intuition intoan Aries that decides the destination before starting to run.

Well, that was a long explanation, but that is my current situation.

･･━✧━････━✧━････━✧━････━✧━････━✧━･･

The problem is how to get through this.
I asked the Tarot about this.

I will omit the details as they are very long, but the results were as follows.

I took this result as a message that letting go of the parts of me thatwere obsessed with formis the key to everything.

I need smoky quartz to ground myself.
I grow as many herbs as possible to touch nature.
I arm myself with obsidian or onyx to protect myself.
Candles are essential to deepen my prayers.
I drink herbal tea to get the effects.

There are many more, but these are all things I have incorporated because I thought, "I need them because I am a witch."
Such behavior would certainly look like a witch to others.
However,there is no need to be recognized as a witch by others,is there?

I will just live as myself, proud of being a witch.
There is no need to go out of my way to appeal that to the outside world.

I can ground myself by standing on the grass in my garden.
I can touch nature by going to a green space, and prayers are done by connecting with the goddess, nature, and the universe within my heart.
Even without power stones, I can change the results depending on my own will and actions.

In the end, I realized thateverything can be done with just this body.How much I have relied on things until now, and how much I have been obsessed with form and appearance.
By doing so, things became my armor, my fashion, and I was merely trying to make myself look strong.

So, I decided to stop thinking about what I need for once and devote myself to self-exploration with just my own body.
The bare minimum of food, clothing, and shelter is enough.
I will stop relying on things and sharpen my senses.
This, too, is a great discipline.

Among them, the things you feel are truly necessary should become clear.
Accept the things you feel are necessary and spend time with them as comrades.
If you can accept only what is truly necessary as beings that exist alongside you, without letting tools or objects exceed your own stature, that is the ultimate form of independence.

Beyond that, I can see the light of my own transformation.
Once you know how to overcome it, all that remains is to take action.

Honestly, I think even I realize that this answer is extreme and ultimate.
However, I believe that I gave myself this answer because I am capable of it, and I will push forward.
Practice the Aries principle of 'moving precisely when you cannot see.'

This has become quite long... that is all for today.
What will you let go of, and what will you gain?
It will be alright. Transformation is rooted in love.
Please accept the kind of transformation that changes your life significantly, without fear.

May this realization of mine someday become a realization or healing for someone else.